Why did I chase the bad guy instead of choosing the good one?

[MysteriousChick93]

So before you call jump down my throat. I know I am an idiot. I met a guy an he seemed great , he pursued me an made me think he cared for me. Overtime I got attached then he stopped making effort. He emotionally abused me , was disrespectful an didn't care for how I felt. Used me for money an humiliated me by revealing he was a player.

While dating him I had so many offers from better looking guys an many that seemed a lot more gentlemanly. Which is all I wanted. But I felt I had to be loyal to him as when we met he was great but I realised it was a facade to woo me then reveal his true self. I had no idea he was such an awful person. I've had guys say that most girls wouldn't of put up with his crap for so long.

I am a good person but I trust easily an feel I have to be loyal due to having a bit of history with someone. When in reality I should of dealt how he treated me at that moment in time an not revert to the past to determine his suitability as a boyfriend. Truth is he was a lying fake guy pretended to love me , took advantage of my kind nature , made me think I was paranoid for even suggesting he was talking to other women.

Week after I ended it he told me he's talking to 5 girls an I said your acting like a player he said he is. I said cool do what you like now but I suspect he was talking to other girls when with me. As he did talk to other women when we went out to clubs. When we go out though girls are not all over him. He's the one who tries to get attention , whereas I got it without having to try. i know the guys who think they are gods gift are usually not.

When I met him my mom was present so I thought he would be respectful but no he totally deceived me had me fooled. Us women can be naive I guess thinking I was good to deal with him but I deserved better an missed out on other potentially good men. An I am disappointed in myself before you guys start ranting I get your frustration at women who pick wrong I'm sorry 💔

[Esplorare]

You chased this man over someone else because there was something about him that had you drawn in. Despite how things ended, there was something about him that the other guys simply did not seem to have. Human beings are very complex creatures. The reality is that a lot of these "bad guys" come with a massive amount of magnetism, charm, confidence, unpredictability, and a sense of confident fearlessness that makes their presence in your life feel adventurous. While they lack decency, honor, respect, and tact, it's overlooked by the things about them that sincerely excite your spirit.

You don't owe the internet an apology for learning a lesson you needed to gain in order to grow and advance as a woman. Don't apologize because your journey led to a course of events that wouldn't please or impress other people.

[MysteriousChick93]

I must of been drawn to his douchebag ness lol well he was funny an confident opposite to me so I guess I liked that. Yeah he lacked all the things a lifetime partner should have , he only had temporary things I liked about him. Now I dislike him so I realise I need more then adventure. I guess I feel bad for guys who try be with women an they chasing idiots

[Esplorare]

@Asker Lol, it happens. :/ I have a few cousins and close male friendships with individals who some may consider as "bad boys". It's not that they are "bad"; it's that their habits and value system has been tainted by something in this world. There's a certain standard of behavior and honor that they have lost sight of because _____ occurred. If you really get to know them and get a clear undertanding of the framework for their lives, then the reasoning behind them being a 'bad boy' will start to come together. This is why it's important for women to be sharp and let their heads take the lead until they know a man well enough to know it's okay to get their heart involved. This is also why you should never tolerate not even one ounce of disrespect and take it seriously the first time a man shows you he's an asshole.

[MysteriousChick93]

Yeah there's a reason they are that way either being cheated on or dumped in past usually. They had or bad feelings towards women an only see them for one reason or another. Yeah as soon as he lacked respect I should of left learned my lesson never again I know nobody is perfect but some people have more flaws then others an can't an don't need saving just need leaving alone

[OrangePanda]

It could be something to do with "love is blind". You spent a lot of time with him to the point that you're madly in love with this guy. I don't see anything wrong with chasing the bad guy cause that's something your heart tells you to do. Sounds cheesy but true <.< You can not change how you feel about someone. But since you chose him, then you have to be mentally prepared of the challenges ahead. Maybe the bad guy can turn into a good guy. Who knows

[MysteriousChick93]

Love is blind for sure. My feelings have changed for him. I don't harbor hate just huge disappointment an I don't feel I should be with someone who makes me feel unwanted. We all deserve love

[nymous1234]

Sigh it happens. As a person it is so hard to determine who is truly being genuine or not. The only thing to do is vent cry and try to get over it and move on. Even if he had that charm that attracted you, he lied to you about being decent and for that you need not apologise. :(

[MysteriousChick93]

Yeah it is he lied well but true colours show in end clearly got eyes for all women an only after one thing. Nothing but a fuckboy , yeah the charm was all an act so he's very unlikeBle an I got no respect or care for him now as he knows.

[DBAOracle]

I don't think you owe an apology. I guess we should be the ones who feel sorry for you. But at this point, I think women in general are just naturally just drawn to the "alpha male", "the bad boy" or whatever you call them. The only reason I came to this conclusion is because the vast majority of girls that I've seen speaking about it are either actively seeking one of these or have been with multiple of these and don't want them anymore. Nothing out of the ordinary in your case, you live and you learn.

[MysteriousChick93]

Yeah I want a nice gentleman if there is any as I seem to meet an attract the bad ones generally bit sure nobody perfect an I am learning for sure. Thanks for not judging

[1smooth28]

You shouldn't worry and beat yourself up, at least you can move on now, it's done. You can now choose the nice guy :)

[MysteriousChick93]

I will do if one will have me. Now I can't find any lol. Get more attention when I am taken now I am single I worry

[1smooth28]

You seem so nice so you shouldn't worry!! Got to stay positive right? That's what I try to do

[MysteriousChick93]

Thanks you to 😀Yeah got to 👌

[Mistnigqa808]

maybe cuz he fun and confident while the good guys seemed boring? Was this the boyfriend from your previous questions?

[MysteriousChick93]

I guess he's not fun to me now just arrogant an yes

[Mistnigqa808]

did ya have sex?

[Mistnigqa808]

if not screw him... let em become a relic of the past in ya mind

[MysteriousChick93]

No thankfully

[Mistnigqa808]

welp you won in the end ^_^

[MysteriousChick93]

Hell yes

[KawaiiPie67]

Because he was confident and the most interesting. But srsly he stole money from u? You should nvr have spoken to him again.

[MysteriousChick93]

Hmm now he does not interest me one bit but at the time he did yeah. I borrowed him an he didn't repay. An I won't that's for sure !

[xxcchhllaauu]

I feel like girls have this like radar if a guy isn't what they think is manly or cool or acting like the latest trend then there like no but all the best guys relationship wise probably ain't into that I stopped being a nice guy a long time ago maybe my actions are nice but in my mind I think the worst of everyone

[SuspiciousTumbleweed]

We're all animals. We all have impulses. Learning how to cope is part of being human.

[Stephen10]

This is why I'll never date western women. Too immature and stupid.

[MysteriousChick93]

Nothing to do with western women. An judge all you like always one prat on here so I expected it. An maybe none want you anyway getting on a bit ent you ✋🏻

[Woody100]

It has EVERYTHING to do with western women. Western women are toxic and are not mature enough to make logical decisions when it comes to dating, and you are a perfect example of that.

[MysteriousChick93]

You know every western woman then in the world. Doubt it. Just a man hater who can't get women have you ever looked at yourself an wondered why nobody shows interest. I am not 30 odd I am learning an in early 20s your clearly not perfect either cus your single so get a grip

[MysteriousChick93]

Women all over the world make mistakes in dating as do women so you hating on many women an men

[alfonsosloan45]

I TOLD ALL OF YOU!!!

Women like men like me.

[MysteriousChick93]

For a few weeks yeah but not for years or permanently I dislike the guy I dated now

[alfonsosloan45]

@asker That doesn't matter because the man that you have a long term relationship will always feel insecure because you had great sex with a guy like me since we are aggressive.

[MysteriousChick93]

No he will not I am a virgin

[alfonsosloan45]

but what i just described happens ALL OF THE TIME. The nice guy is passive in bed. The asshole like me is aggressive as hell in bed and will fuck you until you hurt. Women always want me back and then they tell me how much they hate me. @asker

[MysteriousChick93]

Lol aha being a bad guy got nothing to do with being aggressive in bed that was not what I meant at all. I didn't say nice guy I mean a good gentleman. That does not mean they can't give good fast sex lmao. Any guy can an will. You say that but bet your single or end up alone

[alfonsosloan45]

No, I use to be in a relationship but she broke my heart and I haven't fully gotten over it. As a result I turned to rage to console me. I love treating people and women like trash now. @asker Once you start having sex with nice guys you will see the difference.

[MysteriousChick93]

Oh so you got hurt an turned into a jerk how pathetic. You deserved it then cus now your a bitch about love an relationships how embarrassing. Shit happens I been hurt so many times that's how it is in life but I never change my character for nobody that's not you your being fake an untrue to yourself. If you think cus you got hurt you should hurt everyone around you your no man or alpha male but an actual fool. Real men don't treat women like that your a scorned little boy. Look as I said real men please their woman an stimulate them. My ex wouldn't even eat me out an could not get me wet. It was all about his needs. So I know I can get a real man who gives it good an can break me in.

[alfonsosloan45]

Tell that to christian grey

[MysteriousChick93]

No interest in him