Any women out there who are physically stronger than their husbands or boyfriend and if so how do you deal with it, Is he okay with that relationship?

[cindibb]

I'm married to a man who coaxed me to join him in the gym, fortunately for me I sorta of took to working out like a fish takes to water, unfortunately for him he finds it intimidating, matter of fact we can't workout together now that... will... I've passed him up in everything. This is what he wanted, I was compliant now he clams up, we can't even talk about it without him feeling less and I don't do anything to belittle him, but I feel very uncomfortable, NOT with my WORKING OUT but dealing with what feels like intimidation. Any suggestions?

Updates

+1 y

Let me rephrase the question. Are there any girls out there with wanna be boy friends who may be suggesting you hold back, don't go crazy, why? Because they share the same fear, you being better at it than they? I see it more often than not at the gym where I train. While boys are messin around on cell and ipads girls are leaning how to better themselves on a more physical and emotional plain by working out. Cross fit has really brought the young ones into the fold. The boys better watch out.

[zShikiz]

Either his technique fails or his body just cannot adapt to exercise. If someon surpasses you in ANYTHING, it usually means lack of motivation and desire to continue. Honestly, he's a wimp. Props to you for your determination and compliant self for joining AND sticking with it. Not many women would do that. I tried to get my girlfriend to join me and while she comes with me a few times out of the month, the times she doesn't go is because she "forgot" or was "too lazy".

I can't say for sure if he just doesn't have the strength to improve or if his technique is just wrong, but what I can say is his being intimidated is somewhat justified and he probably feels pathetic, but he honestly brought that on himself. It's like him being a pro at Madden for 7 years then he asks you to play and you train to get better and then surpass his 7 years of knowledge. Poor guy.

[cindibb]

You get it! As sad as it is, agree, he lacks motivation and when I consider the many years he has been in the gym, to see his wife totally bury him in muscle and strength has to be a bitter/sweet pill to swallow, don't get me wrong he loves it, manhandling him, for a lack of a better term, is a shared experience we both get into. I consider myself a humble person, talking about our differences poses a delima with staying humble. No comparison between us other than he has abs from heaven, but the rest forget it. He disciplines himself with diet and crunches, I'm the first to admit my dietary habits lack and we won't discuss abs. hehe But everything else NO CONTEST. He melts in my arms in the boudoir' get him out in the open, I back off, around the kids, friends, relatives even general public I'm specially careful, I back peddle, some may think I'm not being true to myself, not at all, he is a provider creme de le creme. Beach day is daddy & kids day, I find an excuse, the sun what ever

[zShikiz]

Thanks for MHO!!

[Sexualchrist]

Make him step up his game. With the right diet and technique, he should be a lot stronger than you

[cindibb]

A diet is not going to make my man come up to my level of strength not since I caught the bug, I was not for joining him in this experiment but he wanted me to join so I did, now that I've progress so much more than him he feels it. I've encouraged him to step up his game but he takes that as being pushy. There is no way he would take suggestion from me about how to do a set or how much weight he should handle consentration on form not how much. You know what I mean?

[Sexualchrist]

You'll plateau eventually and he can try to improve

[cindibb]

That was his problem for example, I'll use the bench that is the most familiar exercise that most men know. He got stuck at the 185lb bench, he was assisting me with 225 negatives (you know what a negative is?). That was about 2 years ago, I'm currently benching 185X8, 205X6 and 225X4. He is still struggling with 185X6, honestly he is out of gas by the 5th rep. Squats are not even on the chart. He has been at this sticking point, he denies it because I only read his training log, but honestly I have never seen him bench 185 because we do not workout together. Catch up, that's a joke not with his attitude. I'm happy where I'm at my max 1 rep is 245 and I can leg press 450 on his best day he'd be lucky to leg press 225. I just keep quit and dress down when out in public. He's told me no shorts and short sleeve blouses. That okay with me, people can stare and it is uncomfortable, ignorant people.

[Sexualchrist]

No I don't know what a negative is. I work out but only small weights and natural exercises because heavy weights are really bad for your bones and especially your back.

I think he just isn't improving because he isn't trying. I used to go to the gym and do that kind of thing and I never stopped going heavier because I gradually increased by the end of every week. The trick is small increases, not big ones. Always do a couple more reps than your set amount if you still have the strength left too.
It's also mental. Never be thinking "I'm getting to 10" always think "I'm doing 15" but you're really doing 10 and when you get there you can go a few more and maybe even make 15. I don't do that stuff anymore though, seen too many older guys paying the price from doing it when they were younger.

[cindibb]

Of course you are not going to know what a negative is. When I was doing bench I could execute a 185X4 by myself, my hubby would spot me at a 2 rep 225 but when you are doing negatives you are not pushing. The idea is to psyic your head, you lift the weight from the rack and your spotter is watching you lower the weight every so slow but when it comes time to press he lifts the weight after a while maybe 3 or 4 chest days you can press it yourself with little assist. I'm currently benching by myself 245. To give you an idea of my hubbies strength and I probably shouldn't say this. I can bench more than he can leg press. Build or shaping your body is more about diversion, thick waist can be compensated with big shoulders I was blessed with a wide back so shoulders offset my thick waist, I am not a competitor, I have no interest. One of the problems with working out is trying frame the conversation without it coming off vain.

[Katy16]

I'm not at all, I'm actually significantly weaker lol

Maybe he should lift weight more?

[cindibb]

Hi Katy16, maybe you should lift weights more. I was like you until hubby, who had been working out with weights for years, mildly, at first, suggested I could use some help, who doesn't want to loose weight? My initial goal was to cut about 30lbs. but once you get bit by that bug, once you realize the scale has nothing to do with it, once you realize, form follows function. Once you resign yourself you can be better than you ever thought you could be. Will... muscles grow and before long you are not asking yourself WHY you are asking yourself WHY NOT? It's really that simple. Good Luc

[Katy16]

Thanks lol I think I'd need a trainer to be motivated enough lol

[cindibb]

Actually I would suggest to everybody a trainer, actually my hubby was my trainer in the beginning, he'd been a gym rat since high school, he built his arms to impress me and yep it worked. weird as it seemed at the time I was always curious why couldn't I have muscles like him, unfortunately it was to scary for me until I got into it, he coached me so will I passed him up and if he would allow me I would return the favor and coach him. It not easy for a man to be coached by a woman it's not easy to admit your wife's bench is more than your leg press. I do not throw it in his face, I know better and he knows better. I also open the pickle jar with my bare hands.

[Xsamer]

People differ in their vision and goal of sports, and it is clear that your husband’s goal in sports is to maintain health and fitness, not to compete with you or others in terms of strength, and he wanted to achieve his goal for both of you, but he was surprised that your goal was something else, which is to gain muscle and strength. This is what made him train for many years without getting what you got from the strength in shorter time. This made him in a state of losing competition with you without intending to. The success of the continuation of the relationship without tension depends on you.
Since a man accepts that his partner is better than him in anything provided that it does not affect his manhood, and since strength is related to manhood, you must be careful in dealing with him at this point and not to show your strength in front of him or make him feel that he needs training to get more strength. He also has to accept it on the basis that he is stronger than the average man, as he is full of masculinity, but his partner happens to be an exceptional case.
Please forgive me that the English is not my mother language.
Good luck

[dsrice]

I have had a girlfriend that was stronger then me. I liked it. I have always like stronger women. I am weaker then most women.