What does 'exclusive but not official' mean to a guy?

he says we are talking and working towards being official and we are having sex and he is not seeing anyone else. but I don't understand the difference between what we have and being official in a guys mind. to me, if your only seeing and talking and having sex with one girl that is the definition of being official...?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree with anonymous - I was in a similar situation when my boyfriend as I started "going out" we weren't having sex but we were doing other things. We had both been hurt and didn't want to rope anyone into commitment and having to tell others that they were with someone. this was also because of the distance and how we ended up meeting in such a short time.

    His reasoning (I happened to agree) was that we were only with each other but at any time we could call each other and without bad feelings we could say we were seeing someone else (neither of us planned on that, but it was our way of not hurting each other in the long distance relationship but still being able to develop our relationship without fear or hesitation to move forward.) He specifically was not willing to say anything but the truth and refused to casually conform. that meant he didn't say I love you for a long time and we didn't become official until about 6 months after we started "dating." It is hard enough to have a relationship without people questioning you and worrying about telling family about the new guy or girl. It was our way to become familiar with each other before we had to explain it to others - even though looking at it technically we have been in a committed monogamous relationship since the first time we met