I have been seeing this girl for two years now,she moved in with me 8 months ago, we do everything people in a relationship would, she doesn't work, I pay for all her needs, she is in love with another guy who picks her up every so often at 12:00 at night. Takes her to a hotel and brings her back, he never buys her anything or never sees her during the day, she doesn't want to be in a relationship with me, and she wants things with this other guy to work out, this other guy is clearly using her, She has dated other guys in between as well to try move on ,when we go out she sometimes goes home with other guys even if I beg her not to,she tells me that I mustn't tell her what to do. I'm not her boyfriend, But never me, if I try leave or say anything she threatens to kill herself, and she tells me if I move on that she will kill me, cause she loves me so much,I feel so helpless and confused, I still love her a lot and I don't want her to get hurt, I just wish I knew what to do, Please any advise will help thanks
Most Helpful Girl
How can you love someone who so obviously abuses you and shows no concern whatsoever for you? You are in a sick situation, and you need to move apart from her. She probably will take some pills or cut herself just to "show you" she was serious. Let her be serious. This is a bad situation. Even if she does kill herself, its not your fault. How could you possible take responsiblity for a suicide? Furthermore you yourself are a bad influence on her. You enable her hurtful lifestyle. She needs to get a job and go to work. Earning some money, and succeeding in something will help her self esteem. And the only reason she is letting herself be used by that evening pick-up guy is because her self-esteem is zero. She is abusing you by keeping you trapped in a hurtulf relationship with threats of suicide. She has to learn she can't treat people that way. The only reason I can think of that you 're still living with her and handing her your paycheck is that your own self esteem must be zero. I know, by the very fact that you're a livinig soul, that you deserve better than this abuse (even from someone you "love"). You are worth more than this. You need to discover your self worth. The best way I know to establish self-worth is through the Christian teaching that you are made in God's image, and when God values you your value is HUGE. If you're not religous than I guess get some coucelling, or read a self-help book. You need to also evaluate your true feelings. Do you really "love" someone who can abuse you so heartlessly? Or are you infatuated. Or you simply so afraid of being alone, and so sure that you won't be able to find someone besides her that you convince yourself that you want her? I can tell you this, if you break from her you'll have energy, money, and time to devote to meeting another girl. Hopefully one who will love you through her actions.