My wife won't share her Facebook password, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

My wife and I are a young couple early 20's, we have been married 5 years together for 10. Before we were married we had a number of small break ups and in every case she would be talking to or haveing sex with another guy hours or days later. Since we've been married there have been no issues, but when we're sitting next to each other and she's on her phone she will hold it at an angle so I can't see if I try to look she get pissy and tell me to go away. Now she knows all of my passwords and checks my phone everyday after work I have no secrets. So I asked her what her password is and she got mad saying the usual " are you serious? You can get on my Facebook whenever you want". True but I can only get on through her phone which gives her plenty of time to delete messages. So anyway she refused. So what should I do? How do I approach this? I feel like if she has nothing to hide, why not give it to me? And since she knows all my passwords why can't I know hers?

[EllieLexis513]

Change all of your passwords and when she asks why you did it, tell her because you don't have any of hers. It's not as petty as it sounds. My mom and dad have each other's passwords, but never use them. The point of having passwords is to show trust. You gave her hers, meaning you trust her. She's not giving you hers, meaning she doesn' trust you. Without trust, your marriage is going be a failure anyway. Not trying to sound rude, but if you can't trust your S. O., then what's the point?

Also, and I could be off base, but I get the feeling she doesn't want you to have the password not necessarily because she's cheating (though that could be it), but because she feels you don't trust her (not like you should).

Your issues are waaaaaaay bigger than Facebook passwords, mate. She seems sketchy to me. I would have been given you my password by now if I was hiding something or feeling insecure.

[LaVilaine]

Buddy. Your paranoia is insane. The reason she's so defensive is likely because she knows that you fundamentally do not trust her, never have trusted her and probably never will trust her.

I don't agree with couples having to share all of their passwords with each other. It just creates this paranoia and weird relationship dynamic where you feel like you have to be looking over your shoulder all the time. Maybe I'm talking to my best friend about my awful hemorrhoids and I don't want you to know about them. Some privacy is needed in a relationship.

[Prettygurl12]

You're the one with the trust issues. It's never a good idea to share passwords. I'd leave my boyfriend on the spot if he wanted my password.

Shows he doesn't trust me and without trust there can be no relationship. Plus it's a violation of my right to privacy.

You're the one with the problem, not her.

[Xelectro]

There is a fine line here. He isn't asking her password without having a doubt. You can see his doubt as lack of trust but still, she is the one who created the doubt in his mind by holding the phone at an angle and always playing hide and seek. Therefore I understand his right to ask her password ( Also the fact that his girlfriend goes through his phone everyday, why wouldn't it be reciprocal?) I trust my girlfriend, but if she acted anyway to make me question myself on our relationship, I would take action to see if i'm right or not. What do you think?

[Relentless_Hippie]

Your wife is a whore, and I don't say that to hurt you I'm simply telling you the truth. Marrying her was a stupid decision and clearly she has made you feel spineless enough to remain with her for 10 years. She doesn't love you, and yes she's probably cheating.

[Tdieseler]

Hey, it was your choice to give up your passwords... should have done an exchange.. or just left it alone. Honestly, i don't know what the big deal is over social media, i once had a girl threaten to break up with me if i didn't put "in a relationship with..." and her name by it. I told her to suck it. I don't need social media to validate crap and neither do i want someone who has reign of the ones i have. Some people use Facebook to communicate some private things, married or not, there is this one thing called History, and there are some things that require a whole lotta "leave alone". Trust me, ignorance is bliss. You say things have been fine, so why are you trying to stir up trouble?

[Red_Arrow]

"and in every case she would be talking to or haveing sex with another guy hours or days later." That was your warning before marriage, and you went ahead and married anyway. You are in it now. Live with it.

[Unit1]

Hahaha, our good Red Arrow ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
You never fail to amuse me :) Very well said.

[ElissaDido]

Change your password and don't give it to her unless she gives you hers.

[LittleMissCuriousity]

Honestly, if you don't trust her than the two of you have a bigger issue than her not sharing her Facebook. In the relationships I've been in, I've never shared any of my passwords with any of my partners. I don't like my friends and relatives reading my messages. I'm a private person.
The big thing here is that you clearly don't trust her. Here's a wild idea, try talking to her. Tell her that you feel insecure, or that the relationship seems unbalanced. Don't leap to conclusions just because she's doing what she's apparently always been doing.

[GingerGuy]

It sounds like there is a severe lack of trust between both of you. That's the real issue here. You guys may need some counselling or sit down and have a very serious talk about things. I can understand wanting "something of your own" that nobody else has access to (doesn't mean something is going on necessarily) but she should also give that basic respect to you. It's not fair if she's going to be checking your phone etc, but you can't see her stuff. Again, suggests to me there are much bigger trust issues here between you that need to be discussed and worked out. Maybe it's something you've done in the past or maybe it's her issues from past relationships she hasn't completely dealt with?

[lilac_flowers]

Step 1: Deny her your own passwords, explain she needs to share hers, or it's not fair. Insist on this, don't back down.

Step 2: Hire a private investigator to somehow spy on your wife and her online activity as well as offline. Or just learn to use spyware yourself.

Step 3: Trust her from that point on. No matter what comes to pass, if she turns out clean, trust her and drop the subject forever. Without trust you've got nothing.

[cinderelli]

First of all.. I think you both are better off broken up... Cuz you both don't seem to trust each other at all..
I would also not share my passwords.. doesn't matter even if I am married.. it's just about having some personal space... I wouldn't expect my boyfriend to share his passwords with me either.. it's all about trust and when there isn't any trust.. you should end it and move on..

[bluenose1872]

Mate you shouldn't have married her. The fact she's off fucking other guys as soon as you 2 finish says it all. She likes other men. Your her safety net. Her touching base with normal. A person to complete her domestic bliss image. Women are worse than men when it comes to infidelity. Dont let them tell you different. If they do its just reflection to soothe a guilty conscience.

[HandsomeRaj]

She has a right to her privacy, why do you want her password for? Just because she likes her privacy doesn't mean that she's cheating or something.

[meatballs21]

Weird to see a guy being the crazy insecure one. She has a right to privacy. If you feel this is unfair and she won't change, you should change all your passwords and not tell her what they are.

[SwissMade]

I think if she knows your passwords it should be mutual to know hers, but than again if she is reluctant just change your passwords.

[worldscolide]

Sounds like I would not trust her. My wife knows all of my passwords. I know all of hers.. There are no secrets between us.

I would confront her about it.

[Shaft50]

Sounds like a quandary and that she indeed has something to hide... and if you do ask to have a look at her facebook, and she does or doesn't delete message it will look like you don't trust her...

[Rissyanne]

Why is she checking your phone everyday? That is crazy...

[Sexualchrist]

Sounds like she's pulling a fast one on you mate.
Hack in.

[Luvme66]

YOU NEED TO TRUST HER... stop trying to get her password

[slimstiffy]

She a hoe...
You already fucked up when you married her...

[Blueeyes81]

She has a right to her privacy as do you. So reclaim your privacy.

[Muhammad1999]

So if she had sex with other guys at past how do you trust her?

[Anonymous]

Well, you should deny her access to your accounts.
Anyway, sry to say this, but this really sounds like a unhealthy partnership. A bit jealousy is fine, too much is cancer.
You both should have a big talk about your relationship.

[Anonymous]

i bet $100 your 25 and you two started dating while you were 15

[anonman32]

respect her privacy maybe?