I find the term 'baby' slightly insulting especially when it comes from a guy you aren't even seriously dating. I can tolerate other names like 'hun' or 'sweetie' but I feel that there is just too much possession in the word 'baby'.
So, how can you get someone to stop calling you it without being rude?
So, how can you get someone to stop calling you it without being rude?
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Next time this guy calls you "baby" just say back to him, "hey, I'd just rather you just call me (your first name or nickname) rather than baby. is that ok?. for some reason I just don't seem to like being called that." You need to be frank and to the point. That's not being rude. That's being honest and upfront. There are some people that you have to tell them things in plain simple language and it's best doing that ASAP! Why let yourself cringe every time he calls you that?
I agree that straightforward is good, I just don't want to seem like I'm being really picky about a simple thing. But you're right, I don't want to cringe. Thanks : )
Just tell them that you don't like it. There's no problem with that, it's not rude it's just a preference. I had one girl snap at me for calling her baby when I wasn't dating her, I just apologized and told her that what I meant was I thought she was physically attractive.
It's funny though because if you use it and the girl likes you then she has no problem with you calling her baby, but if she doesn't like you she'll take offense.
My ex used to call me that, I hated it and told him to stop - seemed kinda insulting to me..but he thought I was being funny..how would you deal with guys that insist on calling you baby even though you've told them you hated it?
Well, you were seriously dating your ex I imagine so I guess you just have qualms with being called 'baby' in general? What do you not like about it? Such a term when used toward a significant other is meant to be endearing. I can't really put myself in that postion. I have dated several girls who have had pet names for me, some that were completely embarssing akin to being called 'pookie.'
I think that you're focusing on the wrong thing here, if it's someone you are not involved with and you don't want them calling you 'baby' then tell them you don't like it and they should stop. If however you are involved with someone who is calling you 'baby' then I don't see why you'd have a problem with it. It doesn't really carry a derogatory connotation, it's a name used to show affection.
How do you say it without him being able to say that you "snapped" at him later?
Even if it was a guy a really liked I still wouldn't want to be called 'baby'. The beef I have with it is that to me is seems patriarchal and condescending. I know it's meant to be endearing and all but I just can't sit with it.
Well to be honest, I have always been annoyed by girls who reject pet names. That said, that doesn't mean that I don't understand it. Women, are constantly objectified by men as it is, they don't want the same treatment in a relationship with a significant other. You have to understand though that you need to base the meaning of certain things on the context. I can understand you not wanting some random guy to go around calling you 'baby.'
The actual reason that I get annoyed is that when I say it and a girlfriend or someone I'm dating snaps at me about it is, you have to understand that MOST girls have no problem with it, you are the minority in this respect. Also, it suggests that they are focusing too hard on the social implications of the word rather than on what was meant by it, particularly how I feel. This doesn't seem to be your situation as you are just turned off by one word, and can deal with alternatives.
My advice? Tell him that you don't like it and offer substitutes like, 'sweetie,' or 'honey.' This way you won't come off as disliking it altogether, and he should be able to respect the fact that you don't like being called that particular word.
I like your interpretation and that it is basically 'the thought that counts'. I'll just tell him straight up and hope to not sound like a picky weirdo. Thanks for your comments : )
I agree with crapshoot, just tell them straight up. If he respects you, he won't get hurt or offended.