How could his feelings change so fast?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend just broke up with me last night. Everything was going great between us, and then just out of the blue he decided that things weren't gonna work out between us. How can someone's feelings change that fast? I'm totally having a hard time with this because I don't understand. Any ideas would be totally appreciated. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Interesting to see some of these situations are similar to mine, Please Help, Been seeing this guy on and off for couple of months, he was more attentive and seemed more into me at the beginning, trying to impress etc, However didin't last long he was constantly blowing hot and cold with me and taking ages to reply to my texts and generally just being rude and disrespectful. I questioned him about his behavior numerous times and said he really into me and want's to keep seeing me, but he said he doesn't like being questioned, in One situation asked him if he was seeing someone else because he was seeming so distant, he replyed no that would be pretty shit if I was doing that and then said, you don't know how much you mean to me. We reconciled a few weeks ago he said he was very unsure and scared about seeing me and he said he was trying to keep himself busy to not think about us breaking up and was thinking about looking for another girlfriend, when I asked why he said I don't know it gets lonely. He told me too find a guy who can give me what I need and him vice versa, he has kept saying that, After that weekend we broke up again, I contacted him a couple of day's ago to say if you see me around could you please avoid me as it is too hurtful too see him, at first he said I think you both know we have our differences and mentioned how sex is an issue too as he doesn't like it, he said he did like me before, as the conversation progressed he said he missed me and cuddling being intimate and kissing again etc, he said it would be nice to do things again, and just felt he wasn't good enough for me and could never please me we texted till late nite. Next day didn't hear anything, texted him to say how's it going and didn't hear back for couple hours he came up with some vauge short text like before something like being in town, I suggested meeting up that night but said he wasn't feeling well so basically had to push him to meet with me next day, when I saw him next day, yesterday he was cold and distant, he said he just doesn't feel like we are compatible we do things that annoy each other and always argue I was angry and said why did you not tell me earlier instead of leading me on, he said cause he didn't feel like this before, and the texts two day's before about still liking me was how he felt then and explained he was just saying he missed what we had not that he wanted to Date again. This guy is messing with my head and really upset, please help! :)

[Anonymous]

Maybe his feelings never changed. It's possible that he never truly had strong enough feelings for you to begin with, but stayed with you because he thought you to be a great person.

I'm guilty of doing thing, unfortunately. I've dated someone that I thought was a terrific person; he was interesting, funny, intelligent, good looking... but the longer we dated the more I kept trying to convince myself that feelings would grow for him that weren't friendship in nature. By the 6 month mark I realized that feelings weren't going to grow. I broke up with him and it was a shock to him. We always had fun, never fought, and were genuinely happy. But what I felt for him wasn't relationship worthy.

Perhaps your situation is similar?

[Asker]

It's possible that the situations are similar. but just a couple weeks ago he told me he loved me. if he genuinely didn't have strong feelings for me in the first place I don't see why he would tell me that he loved me. It doesn't make any sense. And I talked to him today and he told me that he missed me. He can't have it both ways. There were so many things he told me throughout the relationship like how I am the best thing that has ever happened to him.

[Asker]

He's a very honest person, even his best friends know that. I don't think he did anything behind my back or anything. I just don't know.

[JJgirl94]

i think you owe to yourself and he owes it to you to find out what really went wrong bcuz it can b a real bother not knowing y ur relationship jus ended like dat.

maybe there was someone else,cuz everything was so good,y did he decide to jus end it? sumting iz really wrong there.

[Asker]

I've tried finding out what really went wrong...but he insists that its just because he doesn't think things will work out. He's a honest guy, never cheated on me, I got along great with his friends. Deep down I still think that something is wrong...but I can't force it out of him, especially if there really isn't anything else. I miss him a lot, but I'm gonna try the whole friends thing. Idk, maybe he'll see me differently if we just hang out as friends. I'm not gonna wait around and hope that

[Asker]

He will come back to me....but I also don't want to wait around wondering what might have been.

[Argos]

It can't change that fast.

You probably didn't notice that he was starting to distant himself and just not feeling the relationship. You do have the right to ask him what went wrong. I'm sure he will tell you...

I'm sorry for your luck, and wish you the best in the future.

[Asker]

To be honest, he wasn't distancing himself. Everything was great. Just on Wednesday he asked his boss if he could have today off so I could spend the whole weekend with him. So it was something from wednesday to yesterday. I just don't get it. I've asked him about it, and all he says is that he decided he didn't think things would work out...and I told him that I was confused because it was so sudden....but I wasn't getting any real answers out of him...at least not good enough answers to help

[Asker]

Me have some closure.

[Argos]

I'm sorry. Not everything can be explained and that was just a hurtful thing you had to deal with. It wasn't very mature of him since he didn't try to work things out or talk about it. You are better off getting over him and finding someone else. Best of luck with things to come.

[Asker]

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

He met someone else... he decided he was gay, joined a monastary, decidied to become a priest, just a jerk ...take your pick..

[Asker]

I think I will just say he's a jerk. Because I talked to him yesterday and what kind of asshole tells me that it's nice to hear from me and that he misses me....yet he doesn't want to be with me. I seriously hate guys.