Many people when in their 20's tend to hold on very strongly without compromise to what they find physically attractive and tend to not pay much interest in other traits (such as loyalty, honesty, sanity, abusive behavior, controlling behavior etc). So you may find a girl who would not compromise and only want to date guys over 6'0 or who were taller than them and basically did not want to give short guys a chance until she finds herself single in her late 20's and 30's because she puts too much fluff on the superficial and less on substance that would make a relationship healthy. [In the movie, I can't hardly wait. Preston (guy above) obsessed over Jennifer Love Hewitt (Amanda) and only realize he was chasing a dream when he found out he really didn't know anything about her, and they had no chemistry. And the girl who was his friend that he ignored for nearly the entire film was the girl who was right for him in the end and lead to a stable relationship.]
Similar, guys who only wanted to chase after the hot girl because they thought doing that would help improve their self esteem and they continuous get rejected, cheated on, or dumped because they did not look for other traits other than the superficial.
Even in cases where men and women have preferences and find X race least attractive. Many people are willing to come around in their 30's and give someone of that race a chance at dating/relationship.
But with everything in life, as we move on through we accumulate emotional, mental baggage and become jaded about relationship. Many of these people who are giving more people a chance to date them and commit to them but they are damaged in some way or the other.
Poll Question: Do you think people who find themselves in their late 20's and 30's because they held onto superficial traits in partner and were picky deserve to get into a relationship with someone who they would not have given a chance for most of their 20's?
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No
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Do you think people who are damage in their 30's for being too superficial deserve a decent guy/girl now?
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I think some are for sure. I've also noticed a trend where people get married first and then after they are married realize that the person they married may not have been the best choice for them. They chose a partner based on looks mainly, but chose to ignore other things that should have been concerning to them about their partner.
Then they get divorced early in life and are back in the dating game.
I've talked to a few people online like this. It's crazy to think that they have already been married and divorced. Some of them aren't even divorced, but separated. I am very hesitant dating someone who is separated, because I feel like they're not really going to leave their partner.
On the flipside you have couples who feel the pressure to get married and settle down without sexual chemistry and then complain in their 30s that their love life is a barren business arrangement.
Look if they are 100% honest and the person they are getting involved with are ok with it. None of my business. However they got what was coming to them. They refused to see past a fantasy, and now forced to reconcile with bitter reality. Its going to be even worse if they are bitter or have baggage.
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