Boyfriend doesn't say sweet things to me?

so me and my boyfriend have been seeing each other for 6 months. he's 25 I'm 22. we say 'i love you' to one another. he's never been overly sweet. if I say I miss you then he'll say it back and if I ask him stuff like "are you happy or do you think you're lucky" he'll answer yes. occasionally he says i look pretty, etc. but that's it. he never tells me he loves spending time with me or that he loves my eyes/smile/etc. like past ex's have done. he DOES treat me well. he takes me out, he texts when he's out at the bar, if there's a problem in the relationship he'll talk to me about it but verbally it seems like I mean nothing to him and its really frustrating because I'm a VERY verbal person. often he only brings up the problems he has with me rather than the things he likes.

i've talked too him about this before and he says that he does feel that way towards me but he's not good with words which I understand because not many guys are. but I feel as though if you FEEL it you'll know how to say it verbally. so I'm worried that he may not even feel those sweet things towards me.

what do you think? please let me know.

let me remind you that by actions he does treat me well and show he cares but the fact that he doesn't say anything sweet makes me think that he doesn't feel it. (yea...i repeated myself lol)

thanks for the answers but I do want to remind everyone that I HAVE brought this up before. he says he'll try but that he just doesn't know how to say it...and if I say something he'll agree but that's about it!


Most Helpful Guy

  • If you are happy, stay put.

    If you aren't happy, move on.

    - It's that easy.

    What I think:

    - It's not fair that you're comparing him to your ex's- the past is the past.

    - It's very common for men to not be verbal in relationships

    - You're overreacting


    Check this out:

    - You know he treats you well

    - He takes you out (interacts with you)

    - He calls you when he is in a situation that potentially could bother you (Shows loyalty)

    - He'll bring up the problems in the relationship (Showing that he is fighting for you)


    So what I'm saying by all that information, is that if you NEED the verbal treatment instead of the action; go ahead and find the guy that gives you that (Not trying to be rude)... But if you are happy in your current relationship, you can voice your concern but I doubt you will see any progress soon.

    Just be glad you were lucky enough to find a good man. Lots of my friends on here are always talking about finding the "good guy".. But really, what do words do for you? They give you reassurance. Just like actions give you reassurance.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

    • I couldn't have said it better myself. :)

    • Show All
    • I also vote for "all of the above" here :-)

      Just wanted to add that perhaps you may say yourself towards him things like what you'd like him to say to you (in your spontaneous way). Perhaps he never really felt what these things really do to a person. So if he feels it from you, maybe he'll start "copying" it..

      No you're not dumb and yes he's a great guy :-)

    • Oh I'm a sweet talker so I've definitely said things to him that I wish he'd say to me. he says he'll try. and yea, he is a great guy...just wish he was moreee verbal lol

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What Guys Said 9

  • I think he likes you, and knows the proper way to treat a girl, but isn't in love with you. You need to start pretending your not so interested in him, and like you've got plenty of other options besides him. Don't get too crazy with that, but don't ever let him feel like your no challenge at all or he'll lose his lust for you.

    • No no. I'm not into the games. we LOVE each other. I would never act uninterested to someone I'm in love with. that's just immate

    • Show All
    • Guys are always telling chicks how they are sick of them playing games. These two are in a pretty healthy relationship all things considered. So, YOUR advise is that she needs to play games & be deceptive with him?

      Dude... grow up

    • Thank you tiruas! that makes me feel better that you don't agree with him either!

  • So what if he doesn't say anything sweet? Being supportive, affectionate and treating you well is saying, "I care about you" loud and clear. Would you rather he cake you with compliments and treat you like crap after?

    • Exactly! Thanks irrelevance.

    • Because not ALWAYS do actions speak louder than words. That might be fine for a male, but the majority of females on this planet need to hear some nice things from their significant other once in a while. Not an inordinate amount of compliments, but we ocasionally need to be acknowledged for the positive things that make up who we are as a person. If a girl feels she isn't hearing nice things often enough, or what her guy likes about her, she may not feel loved or liked. She knows the guy loves or likes her or else he wouldn't be with her. But she may not FEEL it. There's a difference between knowing and feeling. We're not mind readers, so if you want to keep us you will need to make sure we do feel those things. A female who needs or wants such a thing does not always mean it's because she is insecure. If she's not insecure in the beginning of the relationship, and he continues to not utter a single positive affirmation, she'll be insecure during and after the relationship is over.

  • Maybe he isn't that kinda verbal guy?, or at least not on the same verbal level as you are.

    Every girl need compliments time-to-time (especially for looks), but some guys maybe just think its kinda "cheesy" to just saying it, confessing it...he maybe rather admit it.

    I don't know, I'm personally not that kinda guy so I don't really understand the behavior.

  • Do you know how many guys actually say I love you to girls but don't actually act like if they do? You take one of the areas he is not comfortable with and make a big deal out of it. I love my girlfriend to death but we are currently in different countries with a 7 hours time difference. No need to say that it's really hard for us to communicate and I'm note even a big fan of talking on the phone for hours but then again I love to write for her so she knows how I feel about her all the time.

    Love comes in different sizes, shapes and flavors so you have to learn to appreciate more what you have and stop focusing on details to the point that the become giant insecurities ... and please, trust the love this poor guy has for you a little bit more.

  • You may as well condemn a blind man for not seeing, a deaf man for not hearing, or a mute man for not talking. Some people just aren't that great with these things. Just because spoken word is one of your love languages, easily expressed, does not mean it's the same for him, or that you should hold him to it, as if it were.

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What Girls Said 9

  • My husband is the same way. My advise is to pay closer attention to his actions. Guys do subtle things that women don't always realize right off. These things are them saying I love you, your hair smells good, you look great, etc.

    If you notice him looking at your boobs, rear, legs, face, etc... "You look beautiful" is what he's thinking.

    When he opens a door for you he's saying, "You're important to me"

    If he leans his face into your hair when you hug he's thinking "Your hair smells great"

    Holding your hand, "I love you and I never want to let go".

    For guys to keep their 'Machoness' they do subtle things. No normal guy is going to be saying these things constantly and no honest girl would rather have someone that tells her constantly but does nothing for her.

    There is an old saying which I'm sure you've heard:

    Actions speak louder than words.

    Pay attention to those actions. He puts thought into doing them for you and then the effort to go through with it. It sounds like you have a very sweet guy he'd just rather show you than tell you.

    Best wishes


    • You nailed it perfectly!

    • Your husband is a lucky man. Hopefully the concept has been grasped.

    • Wow, great advice!

      I totally agree. It's all about seeing that he is telling you but in a different language then you are used to.

  • A lot of guys really suck at this. Paying more attention to his actions is a good idea, but I can't be with a guy if he never lets me know that he likes it. I would try to emphasize to him that you aren't expecting poetry or something; you just need to know when he's feeling good about being with you. Tell him it can be short and about small things and seemingly trivial to him, but that you'd still like to hear it.

    • Great advice...thanks!

  • He is a guy... if he treats you well, then he loves you... he really does.

    Guys aren't like girls where they can talk easily and about anything or compliment anyone... they just don't do that... so you shouldn't expect it.

  • I think everyone has a defect and I guess that's his that he doesn't know how to say it as long as he treats you good and your comfortable that's what matters.

  • First don't compare your relationship now to your previous relationships(don't forget that everyone is different). It is a good thing that he treats you well however if this really bothers you let him know tell him straight up that you would like to be complimented. Afterall he is able to bring up the problems he has with you.

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