My boyfriend and I have been together for along time, we are very faithful with each other without a doubt... he is always saying to me "your my girl babe, I love you" It makes me happy that he says that. I just don't understand the flirting, why do guys do that, why is he flirting so much with other women. I basically just want to hear some other perspectives of this. I love him and I feel secure in our relationship but I just am a little confused about the flirting... anybody have any answers
Most Helpful Guy
Depends on how you define "flirting", and the degree to which it's happening. If he's only looking (i.e., quickly glancing) at women every now and then, it's natural, even biological. Guys tend to fall into that pattern of behavior without thinking about it or even realizing it. If that's all he's doing, you could play it off in a flirty/sexy way (e.g., "Ah, caught you again! But you don't realize what you're missing...I had something ten times better prepared for us, but now, oh well...") Haha, I don't know if that's a bad example, but the point is, communicate that you're better than all of those other girls, that he'd be sorry if he were to pass you up, and that you want him paying more attention to you. Or address it directly; if he cares, he'll try to be more conscious and curb his wandering eye. But of course, don't sacrifice your integrity just to prove that you're good enough for him, which I'll address here...
If he's actively starting conversations with women, smiling at them, touching them, etc., if I were you, I would consider that a red flag (because it WILL lead to more) and crossing a boundary, and I would address it directly (NOT starting an argument, but just calmly bringing it up; an argument will not resolve anything). If he apologizes, and he really cares about your feelings, he'll try to stop and you'll notice.
Perspective: personally, I wouldn't flirt with other girls if I were lucky enough to be with (i.e., committed to) a cool girl who was into me. I've been alone so long that I wouldn't take a good thing for granted. It reeks of dishonesty to me; if I want that freedom, I'd rather tell the girl up front that I'm not looking for a commitment. But if I'm in a relationship, even if tempted--and I'm not saying I'm perfect--I would try my best to refrain from flirting with other girls. I wouldn't want her doing the same to me. I understand a guy's natural sex drive, but I don't understand guys who consciously sacrifice their honor and integrity just to give in to their physical desires. That's weakness. Best of luck.