My boyfriend said my sister is hotter than me? What should I do?

[Anonymous]

I have always been aware that my sister is gorgeous. She is younger (were both in our twenties) and looks like a blonde Victoria secret model. I don't hold it against her because she's my sister and best friend, and the kindest person I've ever known. Whenever we go out guys will flock to her and of course flirt. She has a serious boyfriend so she acts very appropriately towards them.
This past weekend, me and my boyfriend (of two years) were at a party. He was outside with a group of his guy friends talking and drinking. I was inside socializing and eventually came out for some fresh air. I don't think he realized I had come out because I was off a little distance but close enough to where I could hear what they were saying. That's when I heard his friends mention me and my sisters (I have one other) and I heard them saying how hot they were. Then, I heard my boyfriend say my younger sister was definitely the hottest. Like, not just in a sentence. Like saying she looked like a Victoria secret model. I am so hurt. I get it. She's hot. And I understand that guys will think people are prettier than me. But to actually hear it from someone you love and live with? I told him the next day and he tried to play it off like he didn't remember. Then he said he was drunk and he was sorry. I can barely look at my boyfriend now without thinking what he said. I know he loves me and he tells me I'm beautiful all the time but I'm just not sure how to work through this. I don't know what to do!

[FashionQueen86]

I totally understand how you feel, and it really is a tough one. It's like you want to move on, knowing that sometimes other women (whether they are related to you or not) will sometimes be better-looking than you. I know I'm not the prettiest girl around and can acknowledge when someone looks better than me.

At the same time, it's like you don't want to judge dismiss something just becuase he was drunk, but also for the fact that it just bothers you to this extent, and you don't see how sweeping this under the rug is going to work.

Apparently, he wasn't too drunk to acknowledge how your sisters look, especially if he said your younger sister was the hottest. So, he knew exactly what he was saying. I think it would have been worst had he said something like "I'd fuck her", or "I wish I could fuck her if I could"

You don't have to be super gorgeous than everyone else in order for your boyfriend to truly love and be fully committed to you. If he apologized for it, then give him credit. I'm sure from now on he's going to watch what he says.

[Hidden_P]

That's not cool.

I would say give yourself a few days and see how you feel. It might be the initial shock, but if you are still pissed in a few days, it's genuine pain. Also, it would be interesting to see if he ignores this or tries to make it up to you in that time.

I'm sorry I can't give you better advice. The facts are you cannot ever be the most beautiful woman in everyone's eyes, there's always someone better and that's something we all have to accept.
But to say that about your sisters? Almost ranking you? That's not fair at all on you. It implies previous thought. Almost like some sort of porn dream - banging my girlfriends sister.

I'm sorry Hun. My gut tells me that you won't be able to forgive this and if that's the case I think break up is the only route. On the flip side, love is more than looks. This is kind of up to you, he hasn't technically done anything other than been a bit of a twat and we are all guilty of that at some point.

Give yourself some time. Good luck.

[phil2]

What do you have to fear? Do you really think that he will leave you for her? Do you really think that he likes her more than you? Maybe he thinks that she is hotter than you but he thinks you are much nicer and a better match for him. Ask him to remind you of why he loves you. You are more than your beauty because you are the only you in the world so what makes you great? You should know. And everyone makes mistakes and need Forgiveness. Give it to him now so later you will get it back. Gl

[miamigirl1970]

If he was drinking , sometimes people say what is really on their mind when they drink, and sometimes they don't... it is more or less up to you to be secure in your relationship to understand that men are going to look and have opinions through out life. IF you are sure of yourself, your confidence will make you even more attractive for the right people. Hope this helps, be proud your sister is beautiful, as I am sure you are too! Best of Luck

[ksoma]

Deal with it.
Some people are better looking than others.
If you know how beautiful your sister is, and you also think she is the most beautiful, why be hurt? He is not saying anything you don't think is true yourself.
Wouldn't it hurt more if he lied to you, coddled you like a baby, telling you something you don't believe, and you think he doesn't believe, just to make you feel good?

He isn't with her, is he? He didn't say "if I could have her instead, I would, no question!" or anything like that, did her?
He can be amazed by her beauty, and STILL think you are beautiful, still love you, and still desire you. Just because she is gorgeous, it does not mean you are not also beautiful, and it does not mean you are unwanted, or wanted less.

You are letting this hurt you, and you know it shouldn't. He could have been more considerate, but he still desires you, and that hasn't changed.

[didden6]

loving somone means you conect with her and if you give a guy a Victoria secret model he will think she is prettier
men look at it differently i think feelings for a girl an fiscal opinion are 2 different things
you dont need your boyfriend to decide if she has better curves than yea he is gonna say she is even hotter does not mean he wants a relationship with her
now i do have to say instinctively men do try to get the most beautiful woman so even in a relationship that instinct does not turn off
but you need to control yourself as a guy
thats also the reason why you are so hurt about it you are scared that he wants to leave you for your sister all subconsciously
butt at least now you know but keep in mind when you are not around and he sees a good looking girl he will check her out
period
just instinct dont give him a hard time just let him know you dont like it

[ElissaDido]

Yeah it's not responsible and nice for him to say it even if he thinks it.
I bet he wouldn't like it if you said his best friend is hotter than him and looks like a Greek God.

[starliteyes]

Mehhhh. My first instinct was "wow what a douche" but he was talking with the guys, they were drinking, he didn't know you were there.. and yeah maybe your sisters hotter.. did he say he was interested in her?

I get being hurt. It would REALLY hurt my feelings too (esp cuz in my case my sisters ain't no VS models) but you kinda have to let it roll off. Maybe tell him you're not comfortable with him interacting too much with your sister from now on.. not cuz you think something would happen just because you'd rather not be compared. And leave it at that.

[Sublime45]

It's rude of him to say that to you, I've had girlfriends in the past and have appreciated other good looking women in public. (The natural beauty of a woman is special, so why wouldn't I?) Would I ever say to my girlfriend "Oh she's hotter than you!" Hell no! That's inconsiderate, just be thankful you actually have a girlfriend who loves you. Hell, I never take my relationships for granted.

You should kindly have a talk with him and tell him that what he said made you feel uncomfortable. Explain to him why it bothers you, if he really loves you he will understand.

[true_love_lover18]

Wow do people have no sympathy on here? 😮
What he said is very disrespectful. I don't care if it's "guy talk", he shouldn't have said it in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

You're right; he messed up. He was drunk at the time, and he apologized. You say you're not sure how to work through this, but is that an option? Are you willing to work through this? If I were in your situation, I would do this:

fakebuddhaquotes.com/.../chill-homie.jpg

[Odonti]

Sounds like innocent guy talk. It is tough to get something like that out of your head, but remember he is in love with you, not your sister. Try to remember that you are still beautiful and you have him, not her. I think if he had said it when he knew you were there, or did not apologize after then you should leave him, but he didn't do any of those things. Try to let roll off your shoulders and focus on the things that makes you know that he loves you.

[madhatters4]

it wasn't great for him to say but it wasn't really all that bad. i mean he stated a sentiment which even you agree with. i think the biggest faux pas is that he was even engaging in this conversation with friends. it's rather rude

i think that's how i would explain your hurt feelings to him. that you are aware of the differences in opinion but you feel somewhat objectified that he is having those conversations...

ultimately i do think he should be forgiven

[AustinMan]

I'd suggest that you do nothing and forget what you heard. The facts are the facts and it sounds clear to me that you're boyfriend really is into you. That, as a man, he sees your sister as very attractive is just an observation. I'm confident that had he known you were in earshot, he'd have never said what he did.

[MadeInAmerica]

I don't think it is a big deal. You have probably told him many times how your sister is hot and looks like a VS model (which is probably where he got the line from) so in a moment of weakness and around friends he uttered something he regretted. Your ego bruised yes, but if he been a good guy to you and just cordial to your sister I would try to let it pass.

[SarahsSummer]

Well, he really screwed up! That said, just remember, he does love you has been with you two years and was probably just having innocent "guy talk" I personally wouldn't just drop it but I also wouldn't dwell on it to the point of a full blown argument. Maybe mention it again once to hopefully get a loving reaction from him.

[raspberry0416]

I understand why you're mad but he didn't know that you were within earshot, right? It's one thing to say that when he thinks he's just talking to other guys and another thing to say it when you are right there. Make him tell you how hot he thinks you are, maybe?

[FrenchyRomain]

well the fact is : it's true (you said so yourself), your sister is hotter than you. He simply stated the truth : is that wrong? You're gonna feel bad now when he says "look out sweetie fire can burn" ? calm down seriously you are blowing this out of proportion

[relaxrelax]

my brother looks better then me hands down
he has light skin
i have light brown skin

and in this world white is considered better then brown
just accept your sister is better looking and move on

its not like your boyfriend is cheating he thinks your sister is attractive
girls are more attracted to my brother then me
and im pretty sure my girlfriend thought my brother was attractive
i could tell im not dumb

but she is with me

[kittycatlover14]

Well he sounds like a dick! you could dump his butt! Because as pretty as your sister is he is dating you and he shohld think you're the hottest. Not your sister! I really hope things work out.. and by that I mean I hope you get him back

[Anonymous]

That sucks, but it doesn't have to mean a ton. I went out with a girl in highschool I was absolutely crazy about. I mean over the moon in love with. And she was SUPER hot. But her younger sister was just about a 10. It didn't mean that I loved her any less, but yeah, her sister was just smoking.

[Cmasterson]

Aw i'm sorry you had to hear that, however don't hold it against him but its very rude of him to be talking about your family like that with his friends, he screwed up but its up to you if you can move past it.

[Dingsbums]

It wasn't the best thing to say from your boyfriend but I wouldn't be hurt or worried if u are sure that he loves you. See it more like a fact. He was saying this objectively and without including his emotions for you.

[Americandream00]

Physical attraction is only one element of a relationship. Your sister seems loyal, I personally wouldn't worry about it.

[TuMeManques]

But he loves you more right? That's the important thing and at least he's being honest with you about it.

[Anonymous]

I would end it over that , I would not be able to forgive that. Honestly some men would find you more attractive and some would find your sister. I would deffinately want someone that likes me more than my sister. And I would feel soooo hurt.