I've never been very fond of the idea of breaks but I'm not one to completely dismiss the idea/point of one.
You have clear rules which I think are reasonable. This is what Ross and Rachel in Friends didn't do, which led to the misunderstandings and the "we were on a break" thing that they kept bringing up for like the rest of the seasons... lol.
No I don't think a month is an unreasonable time frame, it gives you a solid view on what your life could be like if you truly ended things. A week or two isn't enough to give you that sort of clarity. It's not just about missing the other person, it's about reflecting on your relationship, what you want, who you are, what you don't want, if things will work. I. e. you need to leave a lot of room for some serious thinking and reflecting, and you don't achieve that by not talking for just a week or two. So I think a month is perfect, not too short but not too long either.
You go through with it by living your life, focusing on yourself. Pretend you're single again or something (without breaking the rules ofc), see how it feels. I'm sure it'll be hard at first but after a while I think you could come to some interesting conclusions about your relationship that you didn't think of before.
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Actually a recent church sermon suggested a whole year for a guy to ponder how to best serve & love a gal when things are not going well. I think we both agree that would be intolerable but allows one to consider other drastic measures less severe.
Although a month seems impossible, am beginning to warm up to this idea and consider your choice in guys pretty wise and him pretty smart... IQ over 135 anyway. So this answers your question = a month is tolerable and perhaps best amount of time to really feel somewhat of a break from past habits, feelings and SOPs that might be getting in the way of relationship progress.
Now my unsolicited feelings about this if involved as one of the partners would be:
> for you (the other one) to be able to put me on the shelf for any amount of time reveals your lack of love & lust, your passion to be near me
> should any other shoppers find me attractive enough to ask me off that shelf, I'll have to try them out, screw your rules, bud - you took the risk and I have not enough police to KNOW you are playing by these rules as well (suspicious he's trying out a new gal to serve as comparison)
in my opinion breaks are complete BS, especially a whole month of not having any contact. Maybe a day or a couple to cool off is reasonable, but you cannot fix relationship problems being apart, you solve them together and if you can't its time to go your separate ways. When you move in together/get married, if problems arise, you will need to solve them together, there won't be any "month" breaks. Your boyfriend is using this as a cop out, so that he can prob eventually just disappear and won't have to face you. You are either together or you are not. He will most likely look for someone else and then tell you at the end of that month that things are just not working out.
I agree with @reptocarl 100%. Though i won't agree with his choice of words lol... yup, if you guys are even discussing a break.. just add the "up" and spare yourselves the stress. You say you discussed the "rules" with him... there are people who are STILL in a relationship that see, date, fuck other people.
You my darling are apart and you want to convince yourself that because you discussed its safe? believe me, the moment this break starts, he will start looking for your replacement.
Your relationship is over.
The part i like is how you are putting a time limit to it... break for a month... then you come back and he will realize how fun it was without you, next you know you will discuss a break for two months... then three... and while you cling to hope, he will be seeing, dating, fucking someone else if not multiple people.
"Break" is what a pussy says for breakup. It makes you think he's coming back. He'll only come back to use you as a backup plan or use you for free pussy with no commitment when he can't find someone else. It's over permanently and completely and you will not remain friends even if he suggests or agrees to it
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Darling, i am 27. I've been in many relationship and you know what... There is nothing wrong with having a month long break. It is healthy to take some time if need be. It doesn't always mean it's an easy way out to lead to a full blown out breakup. He just needs some time and when you can give that it will make him realize he has a keeper. Just give the man a break. Use that time to find things that you want to do for yourself and get into something. Work on you. Relationships are not easy. They are very hard work. So sometimes a break are a good thing.
I think that as long as you've addressed all of the 'rules' that will apply to you guys during this break, which it seems like you have (ie. no interacting with others of the opposite sex), a month wouldn't be 'too long'. It doesn't seem like there's any set span of time that is appropriate or inappropriate for how long a break should be for. It depends on why the couple is going on a break, what they hope to achieve by it, etc..
No, I don't think it's too long. You both laid out the rules. I'd be nervous if he would be ok with sleeping with other women, hanging out with them, etc. Every relationship is different. I say if you love him give him his time.
If that's what he wants you may not be able to convince him otherwise. In the meantime while you are waiting you may want to work on yourself... such as personal development, exercise, learning a new hobby, etc.No I don't think one month is a long period but I also suggest that you contact him see what's going to happen with you both, tell him how you feel and what you want after this break, meet up for coffee because maybe he is waiting for you to make the move. Or else you will lose your mind
I don't like breaks. My boyfriend suggested one last night. It hurts when someone tells you they need a break from you. I don't see what can't be worked out with a little talk.
A break is, in my experience, a less cruel way to say he's somehow not satisfied. Don't just submit if you're really into him, ask him why. If he cares about you as much as you do him, he'll answer.
A month is a good amount of time. Especially with your ground rules.
Its enough time to stop being over emotional and be effective at analyzing it.If you need a month long break to figure it out, I think you've already figured it out... your relationship is over.
I've never heard of a relationship working out successfully following a "break" personally.
If you're even talking about a break... do yourselves a favor and just break up.
Personally I think breaks are a cowards way of dumping someone. Either your with someone or your not.
A month is way too long he probably wants too see what's out there for him before he fucks up and ends up with nothing it seems like he want you as a back up and plan!! I don't know anyone or my self would be okay with this
Don't be dumb, don't wait around for this. Break is break up. Don't lie to yourselves.
Breaks don't fix relationships. This is too long with no communication. Sounds like a slow goodbye from someone who don't have the balls to say it.
There's no time limit at all, period.
taking a reak means the relationship will end soon
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