GUYS, we act like a couple but we are not dating? Weird?

[blondandconfused]

Okay so iv'e known this guy since we were like 10 (i'm 17 now) and we are best friends. But lately I've developed feelings and we "hang out" one on one all the time and we do date like activities (like stargazing) and we talk about deep things and our lives and recently we talked about how we like spending time with each other (kinda like a define the friendship thing). Anyways, it feels like we are dating but we haven't even admitted that we like each other (im not sure if he feels the same). I don't feel comfortable continuing like this because it's just weird and everyone thinks we are dating but we arn't. I love being friends with him and would be willing to be more but I don't know where he stands with it all. It just makes me uncomfortable to act like a couple sometimes and I don't like it.

What do I do? How do I CASUALLY bring up my problem and am I over reacting? Are we not "acting like a couple"?

Answer and I'll like your answer if it's real.

THANK YOU

[SippingonBRANDI]

Girl... I've been there. Been there and have recently gotten out of that situation. My bestfriend of 6 years turned into a boyfriend of 2! One of the biggest advices I can give you is this:

1. Listen to your heart. If you like him, then you do. You can't help how you feel.

2. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT let anybody meddle in your and his feelings and/or friendship/relationship. That will ruin everything. Remember that you can ask people for help but they don't have to face the end result like you do.

3. Be upfront with him. Honestly, you just have to come right out and say it. Try typing out how you feel and then read and edit it. Then send it to him after. Or go and hang out and just tell him there. Don't be hesitant to tell him because the worst he can say is no.

Be yourself and please please please BE PATIENT. Men don't move as fast as we do :)

Good luck sweetie!

[Natattack21]

Honestly it could be both things.
He could like you and want something more with you. BUT, since you have known each other for years it could be a little difficult to bring it up. Just like you're having some issues with how you feel about it. And, this is a difficult situation because it could go one of two ways. The good way and you both get into a relationship. Or, y'all can loose each other forever.
You honestly just have to be direct with him. Guys aren't about the whole beating around the bush, subtle comments, or subtle gestures, etc.

[sunnny-dee]

You should tell him how you feel, I was in the same situation as you with my ex best friend and never told me until I had a boyfriend and he had a girlfriend. He said he wished he was dating me and not her because she made it hard for us to see each other, and after him telling me he liked me I also wished to be dating him but we became very distant since we both had someone we were dating. Everyone would asked if we were dating and such but we never did. Now when I see him I wished we would had something while we had the chance. Good luck

[btbc92]

You're not overreacting as it is your general concerns. If this is such a problem, now is the time to talk to him about your concerns so that way, both of you can fix the issue. The point is you need to decide which is more important to you: Your feelings for him or your friendship?

[notallthere98]

I don't think you are overreacting. This is pretty much exactly what happened between me and my (now ex) girlfriend. We were best friends for years and everyone assumed we were together. We did date stuff too like going to the zoo and holding hands while walking around or cuddling on the couch to watch movies. We'd even jokingly flirt with each other. After a while we decided to try to be something more and dated for several months before deciding we were better as friends.
There isn't really a casual or non-awkward way to ask if someone likes you or wants to date you. You kind of just have to grin and bear it and ask him out if that's what you want. It's awkward and stressful and you might risk messing with the friendship, but if he wants to be with you, it has the potential to be a very rewarding and happy relationship

[dolemite68]

He could be in the same boat as you and its hard cuz it sounds like neither of you wants to show your cards and possibly get hurt if the other one doesn't feel the same as you. But when I was in high school if I was "friends" with a chick I was too much of a pussy to close the deal/be upfront about what I wanted. Guys have guy friends to be friends with we don't need anymore friends haha sad but true. and Honestly how do you guys go stargazing together and don't make out or anything? Have you tried giving him that look like you want him to kiss you? If people think you guys would make a good couple, you have feelings for him, and he likes hanging out with you what are you waiting for? kiss him already haha

[blondandconfused]

Iv'e tried to give him signs to kiss me. I literally sat in the car after he dropped me off and said goodbye for a solid 30 awkward seconds and he didn't take the bait! He parked up at the top of a dark mountain and said "what do you want to do now" . The guy is CLUELESS. Any advice?

[dolemite68]

(facepalm) hahaha this sounds like a bad movie 80's movie, I feel for you girls sometimes guys can be such dorks. I would honestly just build up the courage to kiss him, next time he's talking a lot just plant one on him to shut him up haha. Or if you want to be more slick about it, do you have a friend that is also friends with him too? you could have her go talk to him and say you dig him and he needs to wake the fuck up haha then if he mentions it you could play it off like you had nothing to do with it ; )

[blondandconfused]

not really close with any of his friends unfortunately. Honestly, i'm gonna fight the guy. I hate those 80's movies hahahaha. If I just straight up kiss him and he doesn't like me that way, isn't he gonna drop me as a friend?

[dolemite68]

no not one of his guy friends I mean't like don't you have a girl friend that he's also friends with at school that could pull him aside and tell him whats up? she can do the old hey my friend reallly likes you speech. From what you're telling me this guy just seems he has a hard time building up the courage to make a move, if you're a cute girl and you kiss him you can definitely persuade him pretty easily. Just wrestle him to the ground and kiss him don't even leave him any room for protest hahaha why would he drop you as a friend? you guys could be friends with benefits

[blondandconfused]

HEY SPEAKING OF FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS (which I fully support since I hate commitment lmao), HOW WOULD I GO ABOUT TELLING HIM THAT IM DOWN FOR IT WITHOUT COMING OFF AS A SLUT? ALSO HOW DO I MAKE IT WORK? YOU HAVE GOOD ADVICE LOL

[dolemite68]

Thanks I've been through a lot in my day ; )... look at you go haha I love that you are playing this like a game of chess. Ok so this part is tough I think friends with benefits only really works if you're both a bit of players, not like cheaters or anything, but you both have options and neither of you would get jealous at even the mention of the other person dating other people. And just because you date a good amount of people doesn't make you a slut, now if you were sleeping with a new guy every night of the week thats a slut haha. So get the first kiss out of the way and see where it goes so you get an understanding how you feel about each other. When you get to the point of really making it a relationship I would just play it off like you are really busy with school or work or something and you don't have time for a relationship instead of saying outright that you date other people. Be careful though cuz its easy to catch feelings for the other person even if you think

[dolemite68]

them being with other people won't bother you

[blondandconfused]

This is great. I see it all differently. I honestly don't think he would be down but I'm gonna try to convince him hahahaha. How can I do this? Can I be like "I really like you but I don't want a relationship right now"? And then just keep doing what we are doing with benefits? I don't want to lose him as a friend.

[dolemite68]

This is tough because it would be weird for you to initiate things and get him into you to only say you don't want anything serious, it has to be done delicately. Why don't you think he would be down to be FWB? Does he have other girls he's interested in?

[dolemite68]

thanks for mho!! hope everything worked out for u

[Divnd]

Oooo girl, i feel you on this one.
Talk to him. Ask him what he thinks.
Im sure that he knows people think you're dating right? Surely he has an opinion on it himself.
If you're that close, it shouldn't be a huge problem.
And if you're uncomfortable, you should talk to him. You have been friends a long time, i know that some trust is there.

Good luck.
Communication is key - something i learned the hard way.

Last time i was in your situation i ignored it thniking "it doesn't matter what people say, we are just friends", then he ended up getting heartbroken later on because i wouldn't go further with him. He already thought we were dating. We werent on the same page and i couldve clarified it with him if we talked it out.

[dropkicknj13]

I'd say the only way your gonna resolve this is to either confess your feelings or make the first move. doesn't have to be anything big, just wait till your next date activity and either try to hold his hand or tell him you like him/ask if he thinks you could ever be more then friends?

[skoolboy]

My opinion is that you just talk to him (deep serious conversation) about where you both stand in this relationship. I know it will be embarrassing but if you guys sort it out now it will be better. You will have to decide it one day. Better do it know than later when the things go spiral.

[ColinHarvey]

"Answer and I'll like your answer if it's real."

Is that for me?

If it feels like you're spending time as a couple enough so that you feel uncomfortable, then you are acting like a couple. Just ask where you stand with him, next time you are stargazing.

[Randy_Grant]

Be direct and tell him your thoughts. Your story is similar to mine. My best friend in high school was a girl I had literally known since we were babies. We were both in love with each other but we're afraid to say for different reasons. After high school I joined the army and she got married. We didn't see or speak to each for 20 years until I retired 10 years ago. We are getting married next month. Don't let 30 years of your life pass you by like we did.

[cth96190]

Perhaps you should take the initiative in terms of kissing him and having a long cuddle that includes some intimate fondling.
If he responds positively, that will be your answer.
Sounds to me that you are the girlfriend, but he is not experienced enough to seal the deal.

[Unicrone]

You guys have been such great friends for a long time so of course it would feel awkward. You should just tell him how you feel about these "couple like activities". He should understand and would then either stop with those types of activities or admit to liking you which is why he took you to those activities

[ADFSDF1996]

I could be wrong but I think this is how a lot of relationships start. Eventually you'll have to confess your feelings to him or maybe he'll confess his feelings to you.

[TonnyStryder]

That's a delicate situation cause if my platonic femle friend i love hanging with came out with her feeling for me i'd be put off, probably hang out a lot less. Then again it depends, if he does not seem to show interest in other girls and does not mind what people say about you two then he could feel the same way.

[Lopezz1999]

Looks like you're going to have to confess here. Remember in life, if you want something you need to get it.

[Blurgiflr]

Just talking to him about. You've gotta. Whenever there's a nice moment, or a romantic one, like the stargazing one, ask him. Hope it turns out well.

[Jedah225]

If y'all like each other, might as well be up front about it or forever hold your peace as you watch each other get with other people

[Lithium65]

I don't think it's over reacting. I think you just have to talk with him next time y'all are hanging out like that. I'm pretty sure her likes you too and would say he wants to be in a relationship with you

[Titanic1912]

That's the same thing with me and a girl who is NOT my girlfriend. We're not dating but we enjoy laughing and crying together while we're watching movies.

[likitb4istickit]

Maybe tell him what you just wrote and see what he thinks of it?

[JC103]

I think you should confront him. Either in person or through texting if you're too shy. Things like this needs to be cleared up

[spoonman2014]

Just go with it, you may have feelings you are afraid to approach

[Starwarsfan50]

I really don't know. But in my personal opinion I think you should just continue to do what your doing right now and see were it will lead you. Just follow your heart.

[Wingedz]

Childhood friendship like brother and sister, nothing much. I had one too.

[Blitzkrieger]

Well you could always make a move. Hold his hand while stargazing or try kissing him. Chances are he feels the same.