My boyfriend cheated on his ex...will he cheat on me?

Question

So, when I met my boyfriend I knew that he was definitely a flawed human being.

One of our first problems was, he lied about his age by a few years younger than he was and didn't come clean til after we'd been dating over 6 months.

Now when I met him, I knew he fucked up in the past.. but he got involved in all these programs that he said changed him and helped him grow into a decent man, which is what he's always said he wants to be.

One of his big mistakes was cheating on his ex. She was his fiancée, they lived together, he was madly in love with her.. but she had problems and did things that hurt him.. and he ended up cheating on her, which ended their relationship.

Now it's been a few years between he and I and things seem to be slowly moving forward.. but I realize I don't trust him. And I can't hide it.

Do you believe that a cheater can really change? Or is that an impulse that's too strong for most guys to resist? I wanna believe he's being faithful.. but a big part of me is scared that one day he'll leave me for someone else and I won't even know it :(

Should I end the relationship or would that be self sabotage? Also, I have discussed this with him and he's always insisted there's no one else but me.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I have been in the exact situation, but mine was a longdistance relationship. My ex loved his fiance. He told me she was a bad girl that hurt him and cheated on him. But later I found out that was a big lie.. He was the one that neglected her feelings and therefore she talked with another guy for emotional support. He twisted her story, spread rumors about her in his community. And I found out my ex was the one that cheated on his fiance.. she loved him.. he loved her.. but she ended it with him and then moved away. Then he met me a few times. He lied to me telling me I was the first girl he was with after her. He also lied to me about his real age. At first he looked very trust worthy. We had everything in common. I really felt loved by him. He told me I was the one for him and proposed to me. But after a few months something wasn't right and lacking, we had fights. He told me was only talking to me. And I noticed he was soon doing things (lie and like other girls (body) pictures). I didn't like it and it was hurting my feelings. Then we had small fights and after months I found out he had a side chick (his sisters best girlfriend as a safety net incase I would end it with him) with whom he had sex. It distroyed my trust completely and our relationship. He denied everything and begged for me to stay. But I couldnt forgive him. Then he told me he was with another girl before me. One of his relatives, whom he didn't love and broke up with cause he didn't want to be with her. Lets name her tina. After we broke up I noticed he chatted up with tina and she has no idea that he is just using her as a safety net until someone better comes. I know this cause I felt jealous that he was with someone else that quickly. So my best female friend told me she would test if my ex loves tina. My female friend chatted with my ex and sent him pics of her face (she is very pretty). He lied to my female bestfriend and told her he was single and interested in her. He told her he wanted to meet her and really liked her. (After a few days talking he wanted to dump tina for my best female friend...) So in short: think like this, if he can find another one who's worth to cheat on you, he will cheat on you. Cheaters always cheat if they have a chance. My ex is now with a girl (whom I have named Tina) he dumped once for me.. just to pass time.. and he wanted to cheat on her with my best friend.. im glad im out of that toxic relationship. You deserve better than a liar

AnonB17 · Accepted Answer

I can't judge you because I've been with dumbass guys in the past but reading this infuriated me because you sound a lot like I used to. It sounds like you're making excuses for him and trying to justify his past. You shouldn't have to do that. Honestly in my opinion once a cheater, always a cheater. My dad was this way. He'd cheat, then chill out for a bit, claim to get help, until he caved again. Each time he said he'd get help I could almost feel my mom saying to herself "this is it... this is finally gonna be the time he stops for good. I know it". I used to saY the same thing about my ex in similar situations. IF I were you I'd leave him. I understand the past is the past, but cheaters are people that I'd never fuck with... EVER.

glitterberryalisa · Accepted Answer

Do people really change? Almost always, no. If you don't like the person he is now you won't like him in the future. I think that's the biggest problem with getting into relationships is most people don't accept a person for exactly who they are. Not saying this is you, but you asking this question tells me you can find much better and can find someone you will trust 110%. Him lying about his age right away would be enough for me to leave. But you have to ask yourself if you're willing to accept him how he is or find someone else!

lovelybeautyxo · Accepted Answer

Well starting your relationship on a 6 month lie is a bit manipulative but it doesn't mean for a fact he ill cheat. There honestly is no positive way of knowing. People do change but old habits are always hard to break. The best advice I can give you is to seriously consider and address any and all insecurities you may have with yourself due to this relationship or prior. Bc if they aren't addressed and handled they just grow into bigger insecurities and issues.

eruru · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't say he'll cheat again but I'll advice you not to be ignorant n trust that he's changed... give him a chance yes but know that he can fuck up anyday... that way you'll have given him a warning n if/when he does cheat just leave him...

cz if your cousin was a thief n he's served his time you don't lock him up again you'll know to put your things carefully when he's around... but until he steals again that's when you lock him up.

cz maybe... just maybe he's decided to make better decisions.

NobleBuild · Accepted Answer

I have learned from experience that it is close to impossible to change a person that has a history of cheating. He will probably cheat on you, and that's the sad truth. Don't catch feelings for him. It will reel you in and you'll fall for him. I know it sounds harsh, but that's love.

coachTanthony · Answer

Of course he will. You don't trust him and you never will. Lets be honest here. Once a cheater always a cheater. Get out and move on.. you deserve better not a charity project.

xxmamichulaxx · Answer

Well he's a cheater and on top of that he's lied to you about his age so whats off limits for him to lie about? I dont know , if he can cheat on his fiancee then he can certainly cheat on the next girl. Why stay if he lies and you dont trust him and he's been known to be unfaithful?

annie2016 · Answer

If he did it before you may not be sure if he will do it again. He might have change already but if you feel that your intuition is telling you that there is something wrong then better believe your intuition. It is a gift given to us by God to know that there is something wrong.

1977Rob · Answer

Unfortunately there is no way of knowing for sure. He has shown he is capable of cheating on someone. So its always a possibility.

I would say the fact that you can't trust him is the biggest problem right now. That will destroy your relationship even if he doesn't cheat on you.

Ferraann · Answer

Based on what you've said, he seems very likely to cheat on you. However, there is chance he won't. What bothers me is that he started off your relationship with a lie, which implies he honestly can't be trusted. You have to decide if he's worth staying with

Serenabosch · Answer

Whatever happened it's in the past, we all make mistakes, it's part of growing up. Think about you, are you the same person you were a few years ago? I don't think so! However, I'm not telling you to trust him blindly, be aware of the little signs, does he constantly lies to you even on little things? (Now) does he seem distant lately? How does he treat people? Those are the questions you should ask yourself in order to know if he's really changed.

AnaWryneck · Answer

He only gave you his side and his side sounds crappy had he not started his relationship with a lie or blamed the person he cheated on for cheating maybe it would have showed a change but honestly he is lowly and will blame you when he cheats

RhythmBlack · Answer

Never trust a cheater. It's how you'll never trust a known thief in your house alone, or you'll never trust a convicted pedophilic rapist around your kids.

Do not trust him. There is never a good reason to cheat.

LoloWaye · Answer

If he started lying then that's a bad sign. I wouldn't even give him the time of day knowing he cheated on someone he was supposed to be married to. Next.

April10 · Answer

He's a liar. That's a much bigger problem. He might not cheat on you, but that doesn't mean he won't lie to you. I would have ended it after learning about the age difference. Someone who lies about something as simple as that can't be trusted.

Muglintar · Answer

Yes, he will cheat on you, too. As soon as opportunity arises. He is already lying to you, from lying to cheating is just one small step.

KingsAndQueens · Answer

Nobody is perfect and people make mistakes. Approach him with an open mind and see what happens. If you think that he will cheat again, you will be creating an unhealthy relationship without a trust.
Take it slow and don't worry. Good luck.

Anonymous · Answer

think of it this way. if he cheats down the road u will hate yourself for giving him a chance but if you end it now you will meet someone better... from what I've heard he isn't even worth the risk. everything you said that he said sounds like a bunch of BS to me. your call.

anaspie · Answer

It's always possible, people cheat for tons of different reasons. And if he's done it before he is inclined to do it again.

samantha_kendall11 · Answer

People make mistakes, it's only human. Just because they make a mistake once doesn't mean they'll make the same mistake again. Give him a second chance and be happy. If it's bothering you too much you should talk to him about it :)

BrittBratt2416 · Answer

If he can cheat on his ex, there's a chance he'll cheat on you.

brewersfan01 · Answer

he's told you a big lie already, and you know he has a bad history. I dont think you could be truley happy with a guy you can't fully trust to be loyal, or honest.

Anonymous · Answer

As they say once a cheat always a cheat. My ex cheated on his ex then cheated on me! So yeah guys like that ain't worth the drama as it only leads to heartbreak.

Anonymous · Answer

Once a cheater always a cheater... maybe that's wrong but that's usually how it goes. My friend for example got into a relationship with a guy who cheated on his ex, and a while into their relationship after how much they went through... guess who cheated.

My boyfriend cheated on his ex...will he cheat on me?

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