Should I confess my feelings for him?

[Anonymous]

7 months ago I met this guy online, and we've been talking since and gotten somehow close. Two months ago I noticed that I have a crush on him and it's been killing me since. I can't concentrate on anything because all I can think about is him and it has really started to disturb me.

The thing is, I'm not sure if he likes me back. Sometimes he's really flirty, tells me he loves me, compliments me ("you're so cute", "i love your eyes", etc.) and teases me, but sometimes he has days when he doesn't answer me properly and he seems a bit cold towards me? I've asked him several times if I'm annoying him or wasting his time and every single time his answer is like this: "No, I love talking to you and you could never annoy me" but I can't help but think he's lying!

I'm also scared because A. He might just be playing with me or B. He could act like that with everyone else too and our conversations have just been "friendly talk."

I just don't know what to do! Should I confess my feelings and risk losing an important friendship? Or should I just keep talking as friends even though it hurts? Or should I just simply stop talking to him for my own good?

Even if he did like me back, there's also the fact that he lives in America and I live in Europe. Is there any point to start a long distance relationship?

I'm just really confused about all of this and would appreciate your opinions and experiences!

[ilovelegs]

Please don't let yourself ever fall in love, get some huge crush or real feelings over some guy you meet on online especially when he lives far away... like another country which is the worst scenario. If you do, you're setting yourself up for heartbreaks you shouldn't be having, You have nothing to gain by this except unnecessary problems from being online too much when you should be doing something more important like school work, hanging out with friends, or trying to find some guy that lives much closer to write/chat with. I'm sure it makes you feel good to hear all the complements he's probably given you and all that but there's no real meaning in that kind of talk with a stranger. You can say... yeah but he loves me too, etc, but that's only talk and talk is cheap... very cheap don't ever forget that! Never depend on some online guy that lives some distance away to keep his word about loving you, will be wanting to meet you soon, will do this or that, etc. Even though he may be serious in some of his talk he won't be able to keep his promises to you unless he's old enough and has money to not be working a good share of the time. Also, why doesn't have a girlfriend that keeps him more busy? Why is he spending all this time flattering you? Oh you can confess your feelings for him if you want to but it's hard to say how it'll take that. He certainly isn't going to jump in a plane and come and see you. He may just get into sexting you more if he's not already. Just do something constructive that can benefit you rather than be living in a fantasy world. Keep online stuff friendly unless he lives close and it's easy for you to meet and see him often. Good luck!

[Asker]

Thank you for your long reply! I'd like to point out that no, he has never tried sexting with me or asked any of those things which I think is one of the reasons I really like him. It's also really hard to find anyone in real life, especially when you live in a small town like I do, but yeah I guess I can understand your point. Maybe there'll never be a future for us, but should I still confess my feelings for him, then stop talking with him or keep talking with him as friends (with no flirting) so that I could eventually get over him? All I know is that I just can't continue like this.

[ilovelegs]

Thank you for replying back and adding stuff. I was glad to hear he hasn't been sexting with you. It can get so easy to start really liking someone online especially when they're a nice person and seem to always seem truthful. I clearly understand what you mean by living in a small town with very limited opposite sex partners that you would happen to connect with. In reality, there's nothing really wrong with your confessing your true feelings to him. However, that may make you both feel closer to each other and still nothing for you to do about it unless one of you are willing to move to the other country so you can try and be together someday, which could be a long wait and much loneness. You can try to just remain friends but that's harder to control than you imagine. I think you should slow down the talk and slow down the sweet stuff, flirting, etc. Meantime, try to meet some other guy that at least lives in this country, and hopefully your state. That'll at least make it easier.

[shirinJo]

I can't tell you what's right here. in the end it will be your choice and your responsibility. if I have doubts about another persons intentions I trust my feelings and don't act on my romantic emotions. if I have doubts but I want to act on my desires regardless then I do that. in the end it's your choice. you have to decide whether to take the risk or not. i probably wouldn't and the long distance just puts the nail in this. there is no right or wrong or things are not clear messages in love. you either take the risk or you don't and either way you live with what happens

[the_lynch]

in 7 months you never asked if he's dating? and those are just typical compliments nothing special. well if you're really dying for him just ask already. even if all works i don't think long distance relationship really has a meaning.

[Asker]

Of course I have and he's been single the whole time.

[Marshall123]

this is simple, long distance relationships never work, so you should stay as a friend to not lose him