My boyfriend didn't visit me in the hospital?

[MadameAphrodite]

Basically, I've gotten really sick over the past two months and have lost 20 pounds unintentionally. Nearly everything I eat goes right through me and I keep losing weight, no matter how much I consume. (Plus I have lack of appetite.) I get short of breath and lightheaded doing tasks I should be able to do. I'm easily dehydrated and if I keep losing weight, my organs will eventually shut down. I recently had bloodwork, a colonoscopy, and an endoscopy done. They found a polyp in my colon and removed it, although it was benign. The bloodwork was normal.

With that in mind - today, I was going about cleaning and needed to sit down every few minutes to avoid getting too lightheaded. I started having to go to the bathroom over and over, whereas before it had stopped. I told my boyfriend what was going on, told him I needed him after today and asked if we could hang out after he got off work. His answer was basically "I'm too tired, we can tomorrow." I understand that he worked 9 hours and is tired. But too tired to see your sick girlfriend? I mean, realistically, if I can't get answers soon and figure out how to stop losing weight, I'll die. There's really no sugar coating it, my organs will shut down if I continue losing weight. I told him this and he still had the same response and seemed to miss the point completely. If it were him, I wouldn't dare tell him no when he needed me and it hurts my feelings that he didn't do the same.

Fast forward. I had to go to the ER right after he told me he was too tired to see me today. They took more bloodwork and ran more tests, which came up with absolutely nothing. They gave me fluids and sent me home. I'm still no better and have zero answers. My boyfriend didn't visit me once in the ER either. Honestly, I'm incredibly disappointed in him after today and my feelings are really hurt by this. In my opinion, there's no such thing as "too tired" for the one you love. Am I overreacting? What are your thoughts? Thanks in advance. ❤️

[Fitness-Fanatic]

I don't think you're overreacting at all. It's understandable you'd feel the way you do. It's not like you just have a cold or are exaggerating how Ill you are. You're very poorly and the least he could do is make a sacrifice for you

No matter how tired I was, I'd motivate myself and make the effort to be there for my boyfriend if he were ill. I'd show genuine concern and support him in anyway I could

It must make you feel unloved and a burden to him. It would me anyway.. if my boyfriend gave the " I'm too tired" excuse

I judge a person's strength of love for me and the strength of their loyalty to me when I face challenging times or adversities in my life. You only get to see the true colours of those who say they care about you , during the worst times of your life. You can't make him care about you or force him to be there for you. It seems you're just going to have to get through this without his support

[MadameAphrodite]

Yes, that's exactly how I feel too. And that's very true. It's easy when things are going great. When you hit rough patches in life, the difficult work comes in and peoples' true colors really come out.

[peachblossomluck]

It sounds like you have a parasite, medically speaking. Your boyfriend is a fucking douchebag. Here you are, going through something terrifying, and he ignores the problem, letting you down when you need him the most. He isn't worth even thinking about right now. You don't need a broken heart while you're fighting for your life. God bless and I hope they discover what the problem is soon♡

[dylanthe13]

oh no dear just focus on your medication. i know he's your boyfriend and he didn't do right thing but your health is the most important thing. I wish you get better soon! 😊

[MadameAphrodite]

True, health always comes first. And thank you! 😊

[dylanthe13]

Correct. Don't overthink for now. If you have felt better, there you go, do something about him.

[KantStop]

Same thing happened to my girlfriend with her ex, guess that's why she's with me. Mr. Stealyogirl

But in any case, anyone who doesn't make time for you when you need them the most, doesn't empathize with your struggles, and doesn't even gather the strength to visit the person who is on the brink of losing theirs entirely, is just an Immoral person.

Pathetic and Inexcusable.

[MadameAphrodite]

I completely agree. I'm going to have a very difficult decision to make if he doesn't get his act together.

[KantStop]

@MadameAphrodite

It's not that I think you can do better, it's just human decency; a respect for your life.

And with that being said, You can do better. Not just better because of this, but better in the sense that anything that lead up to this moment, you'll know that the right person will be with you every step of the way that escalated to that difficult point in your life. That's walking in your shoes.

A person that is willing to struggle with you as you do, is worth it

[triff]

This is a hard one My father hated hospitals but unconditional loved my mother but that's a different era I would say he could be scared of loosing you that he is pushing him away We often want more from someone and expect to behave in a certain way Yes he should be more supportive and make you feel his there for you but some people can't do that

[MadameAphrodite]

He'll visit his relatives though whenever they're in the hospital. Usually as soon as he finds out they are too. If he can do that for them, I don't see why he can't for me. Especially when he says he wants to make me his wife one day. It really hurts my feelings.

[triff]

then you have to ask him why maybe he takes the break U was cheated in when I was in hospital so yes he should be there for you
Maybe it's time to analyse your relationship ad ask yourself is it ovet

[Kampaii_Vic]

He doesn't wanna see you in pain..
..
.. Is what I want to say.

But lets not close that vital option until I hand you his dish of feelings.

He may fear, and feel depressed to visit. its possible he's a wimp.

OR

He's a fucking scumbag
While you're in there, he's in someone else's pants.

Don't jump to conclusions, but do find out.

Hope you the best 🤗😌

[SomeKiwiGuy]

well, if he ever needs a colonoscopy he's sorted... he's got his head firmly up his own ass! That's really not cool, most people would be hurt by this. Be honest with me, this can't be the only time he's down signs of being hard hearted or selfish?

[MadameAphrodite]

Honestly no. This isn't the first time I've told him I needed him and his response was "I'm too tired, we can tomorrow." It makes me feel like he only wants to hang out when it's convenient for him.

[SomeKiwiGuy]

but if he's willing to do it over something big like this, I'd have thought you'd be hitting this over smaller things much more often?

[MadameAphrodite]

He has done it over smaller stuff before too. Just the other day, I had a really bad time with my parents (who are abusive to say the least), and wanted to spend some time with him and his response was the same.

[SomeKiwiGuy]

You really should use this as an opportunity to figure out if the good outweighs the bad with him, if he's adding to your life.

[MadameAphrodite]

I'm torn because we've been together for 3+ years now and I know he really does love me. He cries just over the thought of losing me. And I've been through so much in my life that I know when people are lying to me and being fake and I can tell he isn't. But then things like this happen that make me question things.

[wiremepink]

Just ask yourself despite his feelings for you, is this what you want in your partner? In a boyfriend, companion, if you want kids is this the father you want for your kids? If none of that works lastly ask yourself, would you be okay with your sister, close friend or daughter being with a guy like him? If any answer to those is no then you know what you need to do. I'm so sorry to hear your situation with your health and him I will keep you in my prayers and hope you make the right decision for yourself.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I think your boyfriend should be more attentive of your needs. If he really loves you he should take the good, along with the bad i think it's terrible he acts the way he does i think you deserve better. I'm sorry about sickness i will pray for you and ask God for the doctors to find a answer for your illness. <3

[Talha_Akhter]

It is clear that your boyfriend is meaner and doesn't care for you, I mean who does that. If he have ever loved you, Beleive me he would have came.
well, anyways take vitamins pills, And eat fruits and vegetables,
get well soon 👍

[Joshtbh]

that's messed up. don't see this working out long term.

[MadameAphrodite]

Yeah it is messed up. If things keep going like this, it won't work out.

[owlbethere]

He really doesn't care for you as much as you think if he is doing this. No one that is in love with someone would leave their partner alone and not visit if they were very ill.

[Intraluminal]

Basically your boyfriend is suffering from superbungholery. He's a gigantic asshole.

[Sarah2016]

I think you should dump him, if he loved you , no matter what he would come and visit you and wouldn't make any excuses

[akadatank44]

No I'd honestly end this if my partner ever do that. Shows that they are selfish and don't really care about me. I'd recommend you do the same.
Hopen you are ok!

[Namay]

he isnot a friend maybe you should consider using ASSHOLE instead of boyfriend

[xdemi]

you deserve a better guy. he needs to be there for youq

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Your boyfriend don't love and care for you. Get rid of him.

[sp33d]

There is nothing he can do about it. You need help from professionals.

[Logan678]

the guy should visit that just wrong

[MadameAphrodite]

It really is.

[Logan678]

I would visit you every day with gifts

[TurboPleb]

maybe its to much for him to handle

[MadameAphrodite]

But it isn't though. He's told me that no matter what, he isn't going anywhere. Even if I don't get better. And he'll visit relatives when they're in the hospital on the same day, but he couldn't even be bothered to visit his girlfriend? (And future wife, as he says.)

[TurboPleb]

yea really weird not sure then

[Anonymous]

realistically, if you're so sick you're dying. You shouldn't have a boyfriend. this is too much stress on both of you. You should break it off so you can focus on getting better.

[eagle1951]

he maybe doesn't know what to do or say. and can not handle it.

[Anonymous]

It's time to think about ur relationship

[Unit1]

Seems like overreaction to me.

[StrawberryCream]

Dump him