Is my boyfriend using me?

we separated 2 weeks ago but he wants to hang out. he avoids sex. he doesn't want to touch me at all. but he usually has no money and bums stuff off of me always


Most Helpful Guy

  • If it bothers you, could you just try saying no to him. It sounds as though, even though you separated, you still may have some feelings for him? However, it almost sounds as though he may be angry at you or something and is "punishing" you in a passive/aggressive way? I'm asking because I can only guess at the situation. If you guys are separated, why is he still hanging around? And, why are you letting him? Separation should be a time for thinking about your relationship and where it is headed (if anywhere), but if you're supposed to be separated, but he keeps coming around, how is this helping things? At any rate, like I mentioned, you could always just say no to him when it comes to him trying to get things from you at this time - especially if you think he's just using you. Also, I think that communication is a key to all of this - Are you communicating your intentions clearly to him? If not, he may be confused as to what his boundaries are with you because of the fact that you're allowing him to come around during a separation time. Who initiated the separation and why? If you're separated, why are you talking about him not wanting to have sex or touch you? Please answer some of these questions so I can better help you! Thanks! :)

    • I told him last Saturday bye for the last time. I didn't want to talk to him or see him ever again...he called the next night sad, asking me to come get him, he missed me,wanted to talkHe needed money and then wanted sex, I had to get my son,so we didnt, the next day he called and we hung out..I tried to kiss him and he pulled away and said he had a day he needed something, I tried again to touch him and he said he had to leave. Last nite, was suppose to pay me never came,no call

    • I see - I'm wondering if you still love him, or did you initiate wanting to kiss him and touch him for another reason (like feeling sorry for him or something)? He may be feeling confused because he's not sure whether you want to be with him or not. These are just some thoughts.

What Guys Said 4

  • Using you sexually? Obviously not.

    If he's a bum, kick him out.

    Just don't let him use you more than he is right now.

  • He could be bumming you. stop giving him money for a week or so, if he's still by your side then tell him he needs to get a job. if he leaves you then problem solved hahaha.

  • Yes. if he has no money, yes. any friend whether boyfriend or not that doesn't have money who bums stuff off of you is using you for something. yes


What Girls Said 2

  • If he is no longer in a relationship with you then it's natural surely that you wouldn't have sex any longer or touch one another.

    When you hang out, try not having any money either and see if he sticks around. There you will find the answer as to whether he is a user or as to whether he does want to make a go of it as friends.

  • Yes, he is using you. Don't allow him to use you. If you two separated, how is he still your boyfriend? I say move on and don't encourage him to free load off of you any longer.