My boyfriend met my best friends brother at her Christmas party. Needless to say he was pretty rude to him. My best friends brother can be a ass hole most of the time. Well anyways, my boyfriend hates him now. I was friends with him before, and mysteriously he stopped being my friend on Facebook,...
My boyfriend met my best friends brother at her Christmas party. Needless to say he was pretty rude to him. My best friends brother can be a ass hole most of the time. Well anyways, my boyfriend hates him now. I was friends with him before, and mysteriously he stopped being my friend on Facebook, well recently he asked me to be his friend again. I accepted him, but my boyfriend had a fit. I had a very long and horrible argument with him, and ended up deleting him again. My boyfriend doesn't understand that regardless of him not liking him, that he is putting me in a bind with my best friend. I don't know what I am gonna tell my best friend when she asks me, why did I delete her brother. I'm sure once he notices I deleted him, he is gonna mention it to her. I've been knowing her family since I was in the 5th grade. Even though her brother is a ass hole, he didn't do me anything. What am I gonna do? At the end of the day that is her brother, why can't my boyfriend understand that he is potentially ruining my friendship with my best friend. What am I gonna tell her ? It's too the point I don't want my Facebook page anymore.
You don't seem to understand WHY your boyfriend did this. I would trust it's actually for your long-term benefit.
Try to see your boyfriend is not the one being controlling here. He is simply trying to protect you. Let me explain why this is.
When it comes to other men, men DO have a sixth sense about other people, especially bad people. If you've ever seen the TV series 'The Wonder Years' you'll know what I mean. If he feels the relationship between you as his girlfriend and him is being threatened by a potential outsider/third party, you boyfriend will do what he can to protect it. And that includes your best friends 'brother' or anyone else for that matter.
You mentioned this guy was a jerk. If that is the case, he has the potential to ruin the relationship between you and your boyfriend, regardless of what may think of him. It is possible your boyfriend has sensed this (that he is trouble) and noticed your best friend's brother's intentions towards you. It could be moves he's done behind your back or things your boyfriend noticed like the way he looks towards you - this is why your boyfriend is being so agitated and concerned. For the fact that this guy is also your best friend's brother, its possible in the worst outcome he may be using the relationship you have with his sister to 'get to you' ie. her brother has an ulterior motive. THAT is probably why he asked you to add him again on FB.
I would say don't worry about the deletion of her brother - you are making it too much of an issue for your friend, and you are making your boyfriend's life hard - so don't. If you truly love him, listen to what your boyfriend says and follow his instincts - he is most likely correct in this instance. If your friend is truly your best friend it should not matter at all you deleted her brother and she would not mind it you having done that - after all the relationship is mostly between you and her. If she does ask just tell her you are doing for your boyfriend's sake cos he's paranoid and say you hope she doesn't mind. I do that all the time with my other friends too (I don't add all of their siblings, cos I don't know them very well) so don't worry...
Well in relationships you have to make sacrifices. So if you like your boyfriend enough, you will make this sacrifice for him. If you aren't willing to do it, maybe you shouldn't be dating him. I would just delete him and let your friend ask about it. If you tell her about it and it really isn't a big deal to her, you will look pretty foolish for making this seem like a big deal.
Think of it the other way, your boyfriend had a friends who's sister was a bitch and you had an long an horrible argument with her. Would you like your boyfriend to keep her on facebook event though you would tell him to delete it? Would like that he wouldn't care how you're feeling about it as much as he cares that his friend would say something about it. Finally, would you like oyur boyfriend to put his friend above you when it comes to a decision ?
you have a boy friend if he has a problem with him then do it. its facebook! what's a big deal being on your list or not? would you like it if it was the other way around? I think there's more to it then what you are telling us :)
i don't even like my OWN brother! seriously ! take some time to think! you shouldn't even give a damn about your friend's brother! my sister has a bunch of friends it's not like I care about their boyfriends! I mean DAMN! is this really an issue?
Maybe your best friend's brother knows something about your boyfriend that you don't...I would be suspicious. And delve deeper, he's trying to control your friends when you don't even like the brother? That's pretty lame.
your boyfriend should respect your ability to decide for yourself whos on your Facebook. he sounds a bit controlling and hot headed to get riled up about it. that behavior tends to get worse esp when you give into it, accept it as normal.
No offense, but why are you still with your boyfriend? Obviously he's jealous of your friend's brother and controlling out of fear he's going to e cheated on from past experience. You need to sit down and be bluntly honest with your boyfriend. Tell him that you are alowed to have guyfriends and he doesn't have the right to controll your friendships and needs to trust you more. (unless your earning his trust back for some reason). chat me and ill go more in depth
Your boyfriend sounds like he's worried you might like this guy, be honest he was one of the first guys that was in your life when you were younger; and any boyfriend would be threatened by a guy that's known you since 5th grade. The brother is part of your history and him knowing most of the history makes your boyfriend feel bummed out that he feels like he doesn't know you as well as the brother. You should confide in your boyfriend about this issue, if he really loved you he would understand that you need part of your past to come into your future and in saying that he shouldn't really make you choose or sabotage something that's been there for a while between you and your best friend. Just understand that this is all just males egos that are put into place. But also think of it from his perspective, if you were a guy who saw another guy around his girlfriend who happens to have known her for a while would you feel comfortable and happy around the other guy? Or think about this way, you and your boyfriend go to a party and you meet his mates sister, would you feel happy if he were to talk to the sister about the past and everything they've gone through together? I know I would feel threatened, that's what he feels, just understand that even though guys seem like pricks and never actually show what they think most of the time; he feels that what he is doing is for the best. Talk to him about it and don't think too much of deleting the brother because you don't want to have barriers in your relationship.
Honestly, I wouldn't of delete him. If they have problems then that them, that has nothing to do with you. My ex actually hated my best friend and for no good reason. When I broke up with him, one of the reason was because of that. I couldn't of been happier. Your boyfriend is gonna have to deal with him anyways, he is your best friend's brother. That means he is also like family to you. If he really cared he wouldn't be putting all that pressure on you anyways. You should add him back; if he doesn't like oh well. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and good friends(referring to your best friend) are hard to find. =]
Maybe it is probably because your boyfriend had a feeling that the best friends brother likes you. The best friends brother was probably being a jerk because he likes you more than he should. Has there ever been more than a friendship with the brother. It shouldn't matter to the friend that you deleted the brother. If it does than you really weren't friends to begin with.
Tell your friend why now. So she doesn't have to ask you. Anyways your in a somewhat controlling relationship. If I were you I would think about if I really want to be in a relationship were the guy made me delete a friend of mine.
This has happened to me but I had to delete all male friends. I was stupid and didn't listen to my family or friends. I should have ended things with him right away.
I can't imagine a friendship being so fragile that it would end over something so small as not being friends with her brother on Facebook. If she asks, tell her the truth. If she doesn't undersatnd the truth then she's not much of a friend then is she?
As for your boyfriend dilemma. My motto is do unto others as you would like done to yourself: Especially in a relationship. If you wouldn't like it if he had his best friend's hypothetical sister which you had a fight with added to his Facebook then what you crying about. But if you really wouldn't care about that then add 'the brother' again, tell him what's up. If he really doesn't want to listen then you got to think about some priorities. Do you really want someone that stubbornly ignorant in your life? Because if he can do it with your best friends brother, he could do it with just about anyone else.
He needs to understand that those are his problems, not yours.