Mixed signals, does he just need space or is it really over????

My boyfriend and I had just had our 1 year anniversary. I have PMDD and just found out. He said he will be there for me while I go through this and getting better. I have jealousy/insecurity issues because while we were just dating he stopped seeing me and went back to his ex. He said he needed to know that it was over for sure with her, and while he was with her he would still text me all the time. He since dropped her and has been mine. We have our ups and downs, but he always says that he loves me, wants to marry me, move in and have kids. I never ask him for this, it's always him saying these things. He is so affectionate, but sometimes we disagree and he doesn't want to fight. He tells me stop but I keep texting him because I want to figure things out so to not have these same fights again. The whole week was good, but then, Thursday we got in one of our little text fights, well I thought it was little. He then told me that it's over and he's done. Then Saturday he texts me that he dropped off the movies at my house that I'd asked him for last week, and at the end of the text he writes "xo".So later that night I text him to ask him, is it really over or do you need a break. It started as a break then he got pissed and said he couldn't do it anymore and its over.

All of his actions, affection, kindness and words of our future tell me he loves me, but his words saying its done don't.

I can't figure it out, should I just give him space and he'll come back or is he really fed up? He hasn't told me to come get my stuff from his house, he hasn't said anything and its Tuesday, the last time I texted him and he texted me was Sunday morning.

I don't know what to do or what this is, is he really done with us, after the promises of our future and his shown love for me?

Please help, I'm devastated and don't know what to do.

Yep he called me, he says he misses me and loves me but needs space, he says "give it time, for us".


Most Helpful Guy

  • I do believe that if you give him time, he will come around.

    But my question to you is, do you really want a life time of this kind of treatment?

    If he's doing this now, he's going to do it later. It's part of his personality, and it's ingrained into his behavior.

    Do you want to be 15 years into a marriage, with small children when he decides to yell that he's done, it's over and storms out of the house in front of them?

    Do you understand how traumatizing that would be for them?

    I'm all for love and long term, comitted relationships, but sometimes when we evaluate our partners and they fit the mold that we envisioned, we have to think about the things they bring with them that we didn't envision.

    And understand, this isn't my plea for you to leave him, I'm just trying to present something for you to consider. If you're ok with this, then by all means go for it, but understand he is who he is. Me personally, I'm nobody's victim.