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Mixed signals, does he just need space or is it really over????

My boyfriend and I had just had our 1 year anniversary. I have PMDD and just found out. He said he will be there for me while I go through this and... Show More

Yep he called me, he says he misses me and loves me but needs space, he says "give it time, for us".

Most Helpful Opinion

  • I do believe that if you give him time, he will come around.

    But my question to you is, do you really want a life time of this kind of treatment?

    If he's doing this now, he's going to do it later. It's part of his personality, and it's ingrained into his behavior.

    Do you want to be 15 years into a marriage, with small children when he decides to yell that he's done, it's over and storms out of the house in front of them?

    Do you understand how traumatizing that would be for them?

    I'm all for love and long term, comitted relationships, but sometimes when we evaluate our partners and they fit the mold that we envisioned, we have to think about the things they bring with them that we didn't envision.

    And understand, this isn't my plea for you to leave him, I'm just trying to present something for you to consider. If you're ok with this, then by all means go for it, but understand he is who he is. Me personally, I'm nobody's victim.

What Guys Said 3

  • So what is your decision?

    • I haven't made a decision, I am getting kind of mad though, like he can just drop someone out of his life, we talked and it sounded good, but I haven't made or had any contact with him in a couple of days, when we did talk, he said he loved me and miss me "A LOT" but didn't know what to do, he said he's always been in relationships and hasn't had any time for himself, I told him that I never hold him back, and if he wanted to be with someone he would be able to accomplish his goals with me there

    • It's not that he can drop someone out of his life necessarily.

      This kind of problem that he has, typically is a "in the moment" reaction. Afterwards, the person is aware that they over reacted and they feel bad and want to fix the relationship. Most of the time, they don't know how to. People who react this way typically don't have emotional coping tools, or the ability to empathize. Therefore, in the wake of their tyrade, they don't know what to do.

  • Well sweetheart you learned a lesson about men.

    Here's the secret men will sweet,and whisper sweet nothings into a woman's ear.

    From time to time men need a little time alone.

    Give him some time and he'll start missing you.

    Call me old fashion,but some old fashion advice is still better than the now advice.

What Girls Said 2

  • First of all never ask if its over because when a guy is insecure he will try to find the easiest way out.

    Try to see him again and tell him it's really important. Make sure its someone alone. When he gets there tell him how you feel about him. assuming that you love him alot. " (name) I love you so much, and I cannot picture living without you in my life, I know that we've had a few fights but fights can only make us stronger because If you love someone enough then you will always forget about the fights and think about the good times you've had with them. I don't want you to go because I know that if we keep going now that we can make it everything better."

    something like that.

    then open the door to talking about things and asking questions on how to improve how you contribute to the relationship. Like say he says that you don't say I love you enough or your never there. you can fix that, and so can he. I wish you he best of luck!

  • maybe he was just angry and needed to think.just give him some time and maybe he'll call you and apologize

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