My boyfriend's actions and demeanor have drastically changed!

[eleanor82]

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. He claims he loves me and says it all the time and spends time with me everyday but lately, within the last few months he has completely changed. It's like even if he is hanging out with me everyday he is so indifferent and elusive he might as well not be here. He used to be super affectionate and now I can't even remember the last time he sweetly looked at me or kissed me without it being an obligatory goodnight kiss. He used to give me massages all the time and said he loved to and now if I ask him for one like one day a month he moans and groans about it like he no longer cares about pleasing me. He also has not made ANY sexual advances towards me in over a month and he used to always and the last few times we did have sex he skipped all the fun stuff and just went right for it without even kissing or touching me at all. When I try and talk to him about it he just gets defensive and turns things around on me which makes no sense to me. I tried for a while making the moves but he'd be like "babe, I'm not really in the mood." And I've tried being affectionate like when he's sitting next to me just cuddling up to the nook but he'll be like "sorry babe, I'm really hot right now/" I'm fairly positive he isn't cheating on me, he doesn't do anything sneaky or secretive and I'm with him most of the time so I'm just wondering what gives? He says I should know he loves me by all the things he does for me, like fixing my car and buying me dinner and buying me a computer and such but I feel like all these material things he is suddenly giving me and doing for me is just to cover up the lack of affection. All I want is my "old boyfriend" back.. I feel lonely when I'm with him now and I feel like we're drifting apart and I have no clue why.. He always makes comments about how he is attracted to me so I really don't understand? Why is he acting like this? Why has he changed so much? What can I do? When I try and act elusive and busy he just goes out and gets drunk with his friends and my plan fails.. I'm so frustrated! Please, advice!

I've also tried doing spontaneously nice things for him but it makes no difference..

[Phantom_operator]

Well first off, fixing a car, buying dinner is no way to judge ones love for another. The small sweet things, little things that don't cost a dime are what counts. Sounds like a few things may be going on. Hey may be having some personal issues that he has yet to clue you in on, yeh? He may simply think "oh I have you and I no longer need to do the small little things to keep you around". Maybe his attraction has faded a bit, all ask this question, has your physique change much since you first started dating till now? Maybe you need to really confront him and have heart to heart, tell him how he has been making you feel lately. The worst relationship is one that lack communication, respect, trust and intimacy...Amongst a few other, but it seems as your is lacking quite a bit here kiddo.

[azzhole725]

What does he do for a living? Maybe, his job is causing him a lot of stress. Otherwise, his actions don't make any sense. I can understand not trying to please you anymore since he's gotten comfortable with you and thus, he doesn't feel like he needs to impress you. However, the part of not having sex or not cuddling doesn't. Normally, not doing anything sexual points to a possibility of an affair or cheating. Yet, since he doesn't sound like he is doing anything sneaky, he could have a medical condition where his body is not producing a lot of testosterone, eliminating his sexual drive and passion.

[Anonymous]

he could be seeing someone else, or he has somehting else on his mind work, family etc sometimes realtionships go through ebbs and flows just a phase, and relationships are not like they were when you started dating things change, level of attention, affection etc...