20 Years Old, Never had a Boyfriend...

[Anonymous]

I almost feel lame asking this question, but, how common is it for a girl to be 20 (nearly 21) and never have had a boyfriend? I mean, I know there are other people out there like me, but it just doesn't seem like it.

I've been told I'm pretty and nice. My biggest problem though, is that I'm shy. However, I've seen plenty of other shy girls with boyfriends, no problem. I honestly can't figure out what I'm doing wrong.

I don't think my issue is wanting a boyfriend just for the sake of having one. I feel like I'm ready for some kind of relationship like that. And I mean, there are guys around here that I feel like I would like to have a relationship like that with... one in particular even. I just don't know how to go about showing them that.

Any kind of help on this would be appreciated. Thanks

[Flexy]

I have a friend just like you, in fact I have 2 and a sis, my sis is 25 and my friends are 21, they've ALL never had a boyfriend, but they are all attractive women. I think you just need to know where to look, if you want something REAL look where real men will be, not night clubs, but maybe art galleries, go out more and give yourself a makeover (I didn't say whore yourself out), but make sure that you represent yourself well.

And when a guy flirts, encourage it, don't just close it off. There's so much competition out there that just staying cute and shy doesn't cut it anymore, if you want a guy, you have to be willing to respond in conversation, be interesting and engaging, make yourself memorable, and make it clear that you are a serious and ripe.

Flirting is typically the first step and the key to getting guys to notice you, all the girls who have never had boyfriends NEVER flirt with guys but are always deflecting any signals or attempts from guys for one insecurity reason or the other.

[Kitay]

This is so my story...Since I'm in the exact same position rite now I don't have the solution but I just letting you know that I'm just like you in this respect...Hope things work out for the both of us...

[lost_soul]

I've never had a boyfriend either. I think if you just start getting closer to this guy and show him how nice you are :)

[Ironpanther12]

I agree with LovePHD you seem a little TOO sure of yourself. It's not necessarily a bad thing but some might interpret it wrong. They might think you're conceited which I'm not saying you are but some may interpret it that way. Anyways the thing is you don't want a boyfriend for the sake of having one. If you try too hard people may see you as desprate. You haven't met the right one yet which is fine. Heck I know people in their mid 20s that have never dated. You are only 17 so don't freak out. Love will just happen. The funny thing is it happens when and where you least expect it to. So just chill out and be patient. It will happen to you eventually. When and where is a mystery. But the thing is you seem to have a lot of confidence. That's a good thing don't get discouraged about it. :)

[LonelyEmperor]

For your luck, you're a girl. Shy girls are cute and you don't have the "obligation" to ask guys out. So the only thing you have to do is be more acceptive when guys come to you. Be more flirty and let the guys know you're interested, which is easy actually.. Just smile, make eye contact.. Body language in general, you know?

[LovePHD]

sorry but NeonRainbowSploosh, I do not fully agree with you in this case.

I quite sure you are a Boys_girl and lot of fun to hang out with.

By saying "I'm confident and pretty" you are obviously quite sure of yourself, which is not easing their Job as it make it look like you have high expectations.

Suggest to go either for older or lower your standards

[Anonymous Asker]

Well I don't really have high expectations like I don't have a type really all I really want in a guy is nice smile and eyes and can make me laugh and its not hard to make me laugh =]....like my current situation my coworker told a mutual friend that he really likes me and really wants to date me but then this girl asked him out and he said okay but he continues to tell our mutual friend that he really likes me but he still hasn't done anything to even let me know.

[thegodfather]

Probably not.

You probably can't make it work with any of these guys because you don't want to.

If you want to have a boyfriend. You can.

Just be open about it. Talk stuff out more when it comes to relationships.

I'm sure you'll snag yourself a nice asshole :).

(first... haha you'll very rarely get it right the first time)

[Joanna2]

I'm nearly 22 and have never had a boyfriend...I genuinely put it down to laziness though; people who have boyfriends are people who took risks. In your heart of hearts you must have felt like a boyfriend wasn't really neccesary for you; so you weren't so determined to have one. Like me. I am not even shy apparently; but I have got major insecurities with my looks and my personality; and I come from an extremely poor family...So I sometimes just don't feel worthy of love :( even though I am.

[Miss_All_Time_Low]

Aw, come on. You're harsh on yourself when you sound like a wonderful person!

[R3d_Anonymous]

I haven't had a girlfriend either. Don't worry about it. Just keep building your identity, get yourself involved in places where people share common interests, socialize, expand your circles, and when the opportunity arises, flirt with guys (ask him out if you want). Improve yourself. Become stronger emotionally and be patient. That's the best you can do to both "get a boyfriend" and enjoy life while you're single.

[Anonymous]

Well you have to let him know you areinterested he may or may not feel the same, flirt, eye contact, touch, tease play etc if you are shy and can't do that try online dating, fb , ms, or texting...the more you do it the easier it will get. Join clubs, church whatever interests you that's a good way to meet people and to get to know them without dating.

[NMMan]

It's not weird - everyone prioritizes what it is important in their own life, and if relationships aren't important to you right now, that's totally fine. The only one who can decide when and if you're ready is you.

[BertMacklinFBI]

just be yourself and some guy who likes you for you will notice you and maybe do something about it.

[frustratedchump06]

I'm 22 and never had a girlfriend, always been single, sucks more for us guys since we have to initiate

[nermalinda]

Lots of people don't date until they get to college. It might not be the norm, but it's definitely not all that weird.

[iXenomorph]

It's a little unusual but not unheard of.

I'm starting my junior year in college and haven't had a girlfriend yet. By choice, not because of issues or anything.

[matheus_mb]

Don't worry, you're too young. It'll happen sooner or later. Just be yourself and talk to the guys that eventually it'll happen.

[PeekABoo]

Trying just slowly but surely throwing a little flirt into your convos. I generally like to turn people's own words around so its like a funny dirty comment

[blackirish]

I find it weird, considering how your pics look. Well, maybe not weird but... rare.

[thomas4600]

If you are a nice girl, then you certainly will attract guys... just wait for the right one... he will respect you.

[Anonymous]

female version of me... I forced myself to ask someone out once but it went VERY badly. turned out her best friend (whom was there) was also into me, made junior and senior year of h.s. hell.

[rocksongwriter]

Hopefully you were able to put it behind you. Don't give up!

[Anonymous]

you're not alone, I'm 22 and never had a proper boyfriend. I'm shy too, I think that's part of the problem. I've had a friend with benefits who I really wanted more from but he didn't feel the same way - it sucks! :(

[doctorwhofan23]

I am shy and I have never had a girlfriend and I am 21, so I guess you are not alone.

[Anonymous]

How shy are you? Can you hold a conversation? Or are there a lot of awkward silences?

[Asker]

I can hold a conversation pretty well, at least when it's one-on-one. I am a bit shyer when I'm in a group surprisingly, and sometimes it's hard for me to just go up an initiate conversation. But with this guy that I've kinda got my eye on, I'm pretty good at not being too shy with him.

[moviedude714]

well it won't be as hard for you since you are a girl, and girls don't have to initiate

[snackeyg]

Not it's not weird. I've never done anything with a girl.