Me and my have been together for 2 years. We love each other a lot, well I show it all the time and he shows it only when he feels like it. Anything he ever asks of me I do it eg open accounts and online stuff, when ever he asks me to call him I call him straight away, I always answer his calls, never ignore his texts and show my care towards him.
On the other hand he does the opposite, I call him he ignores my calls, I text him he ignores my text. Then when we finally get to talk he says that I should understand that he is busy at work, he's mean to me, he doesn't show care towards me only when he feels like it. When we fight even if he's in fault which is the case most of the time he won't call to apologize, I always have to make first contact. Even if we haven't spoken in 1-2 days. He says he loves me a lot. When I confront him about his actions which is all the time, he says he does love me and he doesn't want to break up. I have suggest breaking up as I thought he was being mean so I could break up with him but he says no. He does go through stages were he is loving but it will last 1-2 weeks at at time. He always makes me cry and when I cry he doesn't care.
I am so confused, his behavior make me doubts his love for me. Please someone help me, what could be going on here? Why does he do this to me?
You are definatley not alone chicka! I consider my self a pretty good looking gal and my boyfriend is a d*** to me all the time. He thinks showing me affection is "gay". WTF? I know. So he doesn't hold my hand in public, kiss me, say sweet things, not even every now and then. Some men are just emotionally retarded. My theory is that they think they have us wrapped so tight around their little fingers and so we won't actually get fed up and leave. But I'm telling you, I've been with my man for 2 years, and he can't even tell me if he wants to marry or not. I think its bullsh*t, his mom thinks its bullsh*t, and the guys at his work think its bullsh*t. The guys he works with already call me his wifey because I go to all the squadron functions, bring things to his work that he left at home, and hang out with all the other wives. He also picks on me all the time. He always gets mad when I try to give him a hug and a kiss before and after he gets home from work, and he always gets mad when I want to initiate "the deed". Its like he wants to have a girlfriend around to show off but he doesn't actually want a girlfriend...you know? He definatley has the coldest heart and always gets mad about things I say, and problems I have at school. And he could give a sh*t less about feel. I say you and I team up and dump those assholes!
hes taking you for granted...tell him you need some time away to think about things and what's going on...YOU NEED TO NOT HAVE CONTACT WITH HIM DURING THIS PERIOD! he NEEDS to see what life is like without you...he NEEDS TO...otherwise you'll be taken granted for, forever and it will be miserable for you...trust me this happened to me, I took my girl for granted, she left, I realized what I had and what I needed to do and thought why the hell didn't i...is it too late for me with my ex? no, are we friends? yes, will we get back togehter and have that same spark again...only time will tell...but you need separation right NOW, tell him you need time alone, if he loves you he should respect that...but he needs to feel like he's losing you...he should be losing you with the way you're being treated...you deserve better...its up to you after this time "apart with NO communication" if you want to jump back in and try again...
My Girlfriend was doing the same thing I found out a few months later that she was confused and having an afair with someone else but didn't want to break it off completely with me I was her backup plan and guess what the plan worked I'm still with her anyway that's my problem but for yours he could be trying to get you to break up with him too I know there are some guys that do that too but if he's checking on your stuff then its only fair you get to look at his want to know a quick way to find out if he's cheating ,... bring it up in a round about way and see how he reacts I mean not directed towards him just say something like this girl I work with just found out her boyfriend was cheating on her for months if he is not... he will ask questions about it if he is he will change the subject good luck
If the guy has been like this. And you want to change this, the advice is leave the relationship. It's usually impossible to change a guy.
If he used to be different and now is changed to become like this. Then he may just simply wants to keep this relationship because he sees it beneficial to him. Whether that benefit is the ability to be lazy (because you did a lot of work in the relationship), or the ability to have a relationship for the sake of only having a relationship (for people to see), or the ability to go search for a better one while keeping the good one on hand. At anyway, if you see you are doing too much in the relationship, tell him and see how you can strike a balance between you two (lower the amount of stuff you do). If he is not willing to work with it, leave the relationship.
Usually, there is only guys will impress girls due to long time preservation, but hardly the other way around.
He's not making you cry, you are at fault for that. You are accepting a lopsided arrangement and that is your choice. Don't think that by doing all the things you think are right, that somehow it creates a deal that he should honor by doing the same. If you were in a loving relationship, your partner would do the right thing because they want to and that is how they feel about you, not to match the things you do.
So, stay with him if you can deal with this treatment, but don't stay with him in hopes he will change. In fact, if anything, another person who treats you poorly will just get worse and worse over time because there are no repercussions to their actions.
Do you know for a fact that your boyfriend ignores you calls and text or is it because he takes a long time to answer them? I think your boyfriend is confused about your relationship with you. Also, I feel that a lot of the times, pple act certain ways because of their upbringing. Maybe his parents are cold and doesn't like to show their feel, so he sees that as something that's normal and not out of the ordinary. I think you should talk to him, but if he doesn't seem to care about what you have to say then its not a healthy relationship.
It sounds like in the relationship he feels he has to control you or something bad will happen. I know a guy who is controlling like that, in all fairness he thinks he is doing the right thing. I am not saying you are like this, but the girl he is going out with is not too good at English and is always making clumsy mistakes. He helps her with a lot of things, but I don't think she really wants all that help. He doesn't seem to care when she cries either, but then again we sometimes cry when it is unecessary and maybe she does that often, I don't know. All I am suggesting is based on this scenario, I would suggest that you need to find out what it is your boyfriend wants from you, get him to tell you and write them down. If this is more than you wish to provide, then maybe the relationship is wrong for you.
He might just be busy. Accommodate him a bit longer and, when you can, talk to him about it. Make sure its not just him being distant on purpose. I had a friend whose boyfriend would intentionally cause drama to, what I believed, keep the relationship interesting.
Let it go girl. If he can't love you right y should you. It's not healthy for you. Trust me I was with my ex for 3 years he did everything bad to me. It way something like this... call him every hour, I couldn't be late or he'll think I'm cheating. But he would never call me like I asked or answer my calls. He had me all abut him and not even my own self. Till I looked at myslef and couldn't do it anymore. I wish I would of gave up a long time ago
Sorry girl It happens to everyone move on and you'll see someone will work hard for you too love