I am starting to find myself to be quite jealous of my best friend...and I feel HORRIBLE!

Anonymous
i feel bad. she is my best friend but I'm kinda jealous of her. she has always got what she wanted...guys cannot resist her. guys have bought her a 2008 lexus in 2008...a guy bought her breast implants...another guy bought her an iphone and pays for her phone bill every month and she doesn't even see him anymore...guys fly her places and pay for expensive vacations...buy her 500-1000 dollar shoes/high heels..guys take her on shopping sprees at G Star, and fendi. now this is not what I am jealous of, this is just some things guys do for her.

we can be out in public and guys will approach her and ask her to model for them (we are in LA so a bunch of scouts are out I guess?) she even has a gig tonight, 500 just to be sketched by an artist. I am kind of jealous of this because my whole life everyone has told me I was the pretty one, and she was all fake beauty. she wears tons of makeup, has had lots of plastic surgery bought by men, , crazy hair extensions...people usually tell me she is ugly (and I tell them she can't be ugly she models!) but if she is SO ugly, why is she always modeling? and also she has a recording contract...i LOVE her music, but whenever I play it in my car people ask "what the hell is this?" or "turn it!" I have always been a singer, and she just suddenly wanted to start singing 2 years ago and she already has a cd coming out and has shows...that is what I am a little jealous of.

i feel so horrible about being jealous of her...I'm not ugly and fat like you all are probably going to say. she is "California pretty" (fake boobs, fake hair, fake nails, lots of makeup, fake teeth, fake tan...) I am more I dunno...innocent looking. I am thicker than her though and that is also what I am jealous of. no matter how much I work out I cannot get to be as thin as her. she is a size 0 and I am a size seven/eight. what can I do to stop being so jealous? I am not mean in anyway to her, just kind of envious. I AM happy for her...just am wondering why she ALWAYS gets what she wants...and I try and try and try so hard and work so hard and still will never have what she has. I mean...she even had a 3000 a month penthouse in LA paid for her for a year. I dunno, is this gold digger behavior? I am not a horrible person, I don't want to be jealous...what can I do?
I am starting to find myself to be quite jealous of my best friend...and I feel HORRIBLE!
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