He doesn't want to commit to me but he doesn't want anyone else to have me either.

Ok I met Preston 4 and 1/2 years ago. Amazingly enough we had met 16 years previously. A son was born out of that. AND that's another story. Anyways in the past 4 and 1/2 years our relationship has been one roller coaster after another. He gets close than he pulls away. At first I thought it was me...But I realize there is something going on in his head that I just can't figure out.

This past summer in June he wanted to take a break. I was like fine. Its not going anywhere so I was perfectly OK with it. We still talked everyday. But saw very very little of each other. Another male friend asked me to come visit him at his motel that he runs for a week. I was like great I need to get away. When Preston found out about it, he got really upset. I was like we are not together ,you said it yourself. You tell me to go and meet people and do my own thing. So here I am and now your p*ssed? WTF?

When I got back we saw each other the next day. He was a little drunk and told me he missed me and was prepared to marry me. Actually asked me. Well that fell away after a few weeks. I was like here we go again. I actually broke it off and changed my phone number. I ended up calling him after a few days and met him because I had some things of his I needed to give him. He apologized and said the thought of me being with some other guy really devastated him. And that's why he went so far to tell me he would marry me even though he didn't mean it. We have kinda been seeing each other again. But I made it clear I need a commitment from him. It doesn't mean getting married. But it does mean we possibly look into moving in with each other and build a life together. I know I am the only one he sleeps with. We are always completely honest if we do sleep with someone else. Which is him. That hasn't happened in over a year. Now when I mentioned to him the commitment thing. He got all I don't know if I can. Its like he doesn't want to commit to me but he doesn't want anyone else to have me either. Cause ever time he pulls away. I get like fine and I start doing my own thing meeting other guys for coffee and then he pulls me back in. I am getting tired of this. His latest thing is he's doing a cost benefit analysis of being committed to me . I have pretty much done my own and its not with him. But he tells me he loves me and I'm his best friend. So wtf?