"Gynophobia" (fear/hatred of women)..what can I do about it?

Question

So I have been thinking lately that I have a fear/hatred of the female gender aka "gynophobia". I'll try and give you some brief examples of what make me think this way.

- I have a bad relationship with my mom, not abuse-related, more so she was distant..unconcerned, she also shamed me alot.

-I fear judgment from women. In public I always worry women think badly of me. No just me, but all men. I worry women consider me dumb, believe I think with my penis, am disgusting, etc.

-I had a real event of anger after one incident. I watched a movie called Teeth (read about it here: link And I was just furious after I found out that the movie was well liked by feminist blog. For some reason the concept really upset me. I was angry that in general many females found the idea of sexually mutilating men to be hilarious.

-Now, despite all this, I AM attracted to women. In fact I severely desire to have a relationship with a girl, but I can't trust one let alone approach one to ask out on a date.

-I did meet one girl who was sympathetic with my issues online. We chatted for hours everyday over the summer. Eventually I told her I loved her, and she said the same about me. We live far away so I began trying to save money and arrange a time to visit her. This was first girl I ever felt so close to. She was like me, a virgin, never been kissed, never had a boyfriend. But then some other guy asked her out and she told me that she "moved on". After just 3 months of dating she gave her virginity to him. I felt so betrayed and toyed with.

-The fact that I am 20 years old and never had a girlfriend makes me very upset. I feel like I am just unworthy of having a relationship. That makes me bitter and angry at women as a whole. It's a vicious cycle I fear.

-So I vent my frustration by bad mouthing feminists and getting involved with anti-feminist causes and stuff. Despite the fact I'm pretty much a moderate Democrat. I even considered voting Republican just because they are party that is less preferred by feminists and put out less female candidates.

-I come up with ridiculous irrational thoughts. For example, for a time, I was upset that my mom had me circumcised. I had the idea that women secretly gloated that men have genitals cut while their genitals remain untouched.

-The idea of sex scares me because I feel like it would be opening me up for a woman to judge me as a sex partner. It would just give her more ammunition for cutting me down.

What can be done about this? I don't like the idea of telling a therapist...I feel horribly embarrassed and angry with myself for feeling this way.

ArtistBboy · Accepted Answer

These are all things you must "go against the grain on".. I'm talking about being the resilient force that says: "hey I'm not who you say I am, and here's my actions that show why".

With mom - When she's shaming you, you cannot take it personally. You control your world much like she controsl her's. That is, you have power over your own thoughts/feelings of which you interpret an outside world - this is your world, where you control your thoughts and feelings over those interpretations. If someone said: "Apple" you could interpret them as saying: "Beautiful".. Just like someone that says: "Your a wanker" - you could interpret: "I envy you because you're better than me".. See the concept? Now apply that with mom and her behavior.. Just because she's shaming, doesn't mean she doesn't love you.. Just because she is distant, doesn't mean you aren't her son.

With the judgements - Same concept as above.. But here's something more - STOP giving these judgements power. You hold so closely to terms like: "Dork" "Dweeb" "retard" "outkast".. Maybe these words are that of the next century (you being the next einstein) remember that you can change the interpretation behind the meaning; which sculpts your world. And to be frankly honest, having insecurities is a good thing - forget what idiots tell you about getting the girl.

With anger - Learn a trade/habbit that will distract your mind from the anger while you can sit in the middle of it. It's like this: If you could sit in the middle of a blazing fire, unharmed and alive, people would be amazed! Right? Right. You have to learn how to handle any situation, regardless of statute, to the best of your abilities.

With trust - You have to "have" something before you can learn to give it.. Most people I tell this to are instantaneously "I trust myself!" but do you really? If you are focusing on the statements or opinions of others, shouldn't your judgement matter more closely to that of your heart? I would hope that you take this severely but constructively.

With your old love and the betrayal - You have to let the past be the past; you cannot carry around a sack of bricks your whole life, that explain which times you have been hurt, let alone why you were hurt in each situation.. That will eventually tire you out and you'll need to rest, why not just set down the bag and move on?

Dude, to be frankly honest - you're just at war with yourself. You need to find inner peace; albeit in something you love. It could be basketball it could be cars, it could be many things, but you need to focus on something that is a higher power than that of a woman. you are spending all of your mental processes on how they judge you or plot against you, but not on what you truly want - which is to feel loved and appreciated.

~ ArtistBBoy

Dingismaximus · Accepted Answer

Don't worry man you are perfectly sane, the feminist movement is stupid anyways its a way of girls saying to guys "hey look at me I can be just as dumb as you" and the fact of the matter is guys are dumb on a whole, not all but a lot so girls decided I want to be equally dumb, why? because the guys made doing dumb things look cool so if a guy can look cool mistreating his wife, having lots of pride and disrespecting everyone and thing around him but make it look cool, well girls wanted in on it which is sad. Now you obviously are convinced that there are nice girls out there and that's why you are here but note this that my first girlfriend was at 20 years old and she still my girl friend and very commited to me and I her. Both of us are too virgins and I cherish her very much but I also worked very hard on becoming a better person, personally I am a christian, and I read scripture on what it meant to love and etc and that helped me to see I was far off that path. I was a guy that was actually very attractive to many women but to me that meant nothing because I was looking beyond sex which only lasts for a short time and beyond physical lust. Love , true love brings true joy and happiness that lasts a life time and not just pleasure that lasts for a couple of minutes or hours. But you have to ask yourself if the right girl did come along will you even be ready to love her? If the answer is no then you should work on your individual self first and of course look at a girls character, not even personality or how nice they seem but their actual character. That will tell you how they will be even when they are angry, because even in their anger, it may time time bu tthey should be able to appologise sometimes even when its not their fault and vise versa and tell you they love you and vise versa. This is a messed up world so hold your head up don't be dismayed your reasons for your feelings are very valid. And in this world there are hypocrites, liars and cheats so watch out, you can never go wrong by looking at their character and even testing it in bad situations and etc. But remember hate doesn't lead to love and love doesn't lead to hate, so you have to pick and choose what you love and hate. Hate the bad that people do but love the people themselves because sometimes every they are confused and you may not know their full story why they act the way they do too. The same girls might have a hatred towards men because similar or worse were done to them. So work on yourself and search only for the right girl with the right character and you will be fine.

nickel · Accepted Answer

- Our relationship with our parents always influences our lives. I don't think you have that phobia (phobias take over our daily lives, you wouldn't be able to see women on TV without freaking out) but I do think you have some major trust issues with women, which is understandable.

-Honestly some women will always consider men dumb or say they think with their penis. Some women are ignorant. There is nothing you can do about that except avoid them

-It isn't that sexual mutilation is funny to them; its that the movie is so so ridiculous is funny. And if they are promoting it for the fact that it mutilates men, its feminists way of saying that we have undergone sexual mutilation for centuries (still happening) and that this girl is getting even. I can see why it would have a negative effect on you however.

- I agree that starting online is a good idea for you. I probably wouldn't try a relationship online though. It is hard to do long distance especially when you've never been together in person. Maybe just use online as a way to talk to women from a distance and slowly start to trust them. After you can trust them online, go somewhere like a book store or somewhere where mildly shy girls hang out. Shy girls tend to be very sweet and don't like drawing attention to themselves so they will not try to make a public mockery of you. You shouldn't feel betrayed by the fact that she lost her virginity after only that long, it is her choice and her body; though you can feel betrayed by the fact that she broke up with you so suddenly.

-While some feminists are crazy, a lot of them just want equal rights for women. You're going to be hard pressed to find a girl who is down with you hating on feminists (and therefore feminism).

-You sound paranoid, but that goes with the not trusting. Possibly see a counselor?

- Sex scares everyone, especially virgins. I am still scared of sex and I have had multiple partners. What people tend to forget is that sex is extremely intimate. It is getting completely naked and engaging in this act that brings out the primal nature in us. In the middle of it, I promise you, I am not thinking about how much I wish he were anyone else or how I will put him down afterward, all I am thinking about is how lucky I am to have gotten to this point in the relationship and how hot he makes me feel. After sex if he is apologizing and carrying on, I ALWAYS kiss him hard and tell him that I thought it was amazing, because I have always thought sex has been amazing. "Sex is like pizza, even when its bad, its good"

hkygirl · Accepted Answer

i'll go ahead and admit...when it comes to feminists, they repulse me...im about to get slayed for this one but they're a waste of space. it p*sses me off how they're ranting on and picketing on alll the time. I could understand the 20s but now in 2010? now it's just a case of them not being able to get laid and just bitter old bitches:\ we alll have about as much freedom as anyone can ever get and it will always be a man's world and they'll just have to get used to that because it'll ALWAYS be that way and these feminists trying to fight p*rn? yea I'd like them to deny MEEE p*rn. I may be a girl but that doesn't mean I don't like it. to me, anybody that pickets now is an idiot but I mean whatever it's their deal and I'm about to get bitched out for what I just said but hey that's ok...for the record man, it's OK to have a fear or hatred of men or women or animals or bugs or leaving the house etc. fear is a normal thing. I'll get flamed for this one too but girls are bitches. that's why I hangout with guys...they leave their drama at the door while we girls hold on to it for YEARS for SOME GOD AWFUL reason...i have no idea why but women in their 30s are still concerned about something some girl said about them in high school...why? it was 20yrs ago! just saying...anyways, a therapist isn't a bad idea because although girls are bitches guys can be just as hurtful you know? a therapist might help you see that. this girl that just broke your heart? I had a guy who I was engaged to, that I've known and loved since I was 15, and he's loved me(to this day admitted he still does), he just got engaged to some chick in 4 days that he's know for 2yrs and talked to for a few days..it hurt more than anything..im suffering emotionally, mentally, and physically. you can't punish women in general for what one girl did to you and I know that's easier said than done because we do it alllll the time to guys but I swear not alll girls are COMPLETE bitches. we just all have that side to us and some are better at keeping it underwraps or aren't as bad as others. for instance, I won't steal some guy from my best friend but I sure as sh*t know a few girls that will. I know that with guys though it's all fair game...you see? as the military says, "trust them with your life not your wife." with both genders there can be heartbreak. if you feel that you can't handle this alone though and that you'll always punish women, I'd recommend a male therapist. a female you wouldn't take seriously and you wouldn't open up to her BECAUSE she's a woman. good luck:)

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

My mate has that, and he's gay... basically he hates the look of the vagina, he doesn't think it looks right. He could never explain why, but he just hates it. (I'm not suggesting you ARE gay, just cause you fear it) I was about to ask if you were a virgin, but from what you say I assume you are. Prehaps, and just may be you are a little anxious about the whole 'sex' thing. All the other reasons could be factors, but you sound to me like, although you give your mum as an example, in fact its because she is a woman.

I'm not an expert, but as a female, I can tell you that guys and girls can phycologically put themselves off sex, because they have a worry about it, what it will be like etc etc and this can cause an irrational fear, and your phobia is of the part..and that part is associated with women..

I must tell you, and there will be people who will be screaming that I am wrong...but there is actually no such thing as a woman being 'tight' lots of people believe because a woman is 'difficult' to get into, she must be tight and needs 'losening' up. This is infact a MYTH. Think about it, a CHILDS HEAD, comes through that part and it CAN expand. I've heard guys say that, that's only because they have had sex and its losened up...NO WRONG, If a woman never had sex, and had IVF and gave birth, she would be able to do it...

However, nurses, doctors, and most people I have talked to, who are women, have all found that a guy is unable to penetrate, on first encounters, and the only reason for this is because the woman is subconsiously worried about what it will be like, and so physcologically repress the feeling to 'open up' so to speak. You ask any good doctor, nurse they will tell you this.

The reason I took that long winded approach to get my point across, is that maybe it is not really the vagina you fear, but what you have to do with it that makes you have this phobia, and it presents itself as a phobia of the vagina, because that's the part you have to have intercourse with...

Despite what men might think, everybody has sex 'hang ups' but most of us start as we mean to go on, you need to talk to someone a bit more qualified then us agony aunts though, because this can be cured, you just have to embrase it.

Little-Hippie · Answer

Men and women have a love/hate relationship.

Any heterosexual man has at least some degree of mild hatred for women.

Nothing affects our lives in the same way that women do.

It's also important to be aware of how your hatred affects you.

You must always be careful to keep your hatred from women in proportion and perspective.

Just as much as you hate women, you also desire their love, their affection, their acceptance.

Here's an extended metaphor for you.

Think of it as a frustrating game we play. The frustration incurred by the game is what makes it fun and rewarding. It's challenging, and you don't want to lose, but if you quit playing, it's still game over. It's just like losing.

Instead, try to play the game right. Being bitter about the way the game works will only make you less successful at the game.

However, playing the game by your own rules will never work out. Deal with it and find a way around.

You can try to cheat the game, but it's never very rewarding that way,

and you could void your save file. Along with hurting some poor girl's feelings.

The only way to win at a frustrating game such as this is to play it right and practice until you've gotten proficient at it.

Also, NEVER apply logic to the romantic pursuit of women. You'll be applying logic to a completely illogical situation. That doesn't get anyone anywhere. So even if certain aspects of women's preferences and decisions don't make any sense, that's how they are. You can't change the rules of the game. You can only play them to work to your advantage.

The most common and age-old example of this is that women tend to choose unpredictable, depreciative or emotionally abusive "jerks" over their more stable and "nice" counterparts. This usually leads to the woman being emotionally, physically, or financially abused and results in her complaining about it later. Most likely to a "nice guy" who is willing to listen.

You see, girls like to play the game too. However, the game can get boring for a girl very quickly with numerous men offering her a stable and loving relationship. Thus, girls like to make the game infinitely difficult for no reason by partnering with men who have no intention of treating them well, are unlikely to be coaxed into doing so, and show blatantly obvious signs of the latter. Therefore, they enjoy the game more, but ultimately lose at it.

Naturally, this makes no sense to to most men and probably cannot be justified logically without reference to Anthropological facts which are largely based on instincts by women that are equally illogical and millenniums outdated.

You can't change the way they play the game. So don't try.

You CAN, however empower yourself to make women believe they are playing the game their way, when really, you are playing it your way with extreme skill. Everyone ultimately wins.

As with any game, do what works, not what necessarily makes sense.

I'm an avid woman-hater as well.

But I show it by beating them at their own game.

lovelife11 · Answer

You know what... as a woman I feel similarly about men! I feel like they are thinking I am incapable because I am a woman (that I am dumb, can't drive, and too emotional). I feel like they are all looking at me like I should be smaller, more submissive etc. When I look into my own past I realize why I probably feel this way... I never knew my dad, never had any brothers, and my grandfather shunned me. The only other males I had in my life were superficial alcoholics who would put me down and tell me that I was really fat and ugly! I could never be good enough. Those comments have stuck with me and more often then not, I don't feel good enough.

Now about the mutilation women are still sexually mutilated in other cultures and have been in the past! I have never heard of men being sexually mutilated. Men are not and have not been the oppressed gender, therefore, you have nothing to worry about and deep down I think that you want to appreciate women. Since your mother has shamed you... you could never please her.. and I right? So what has happened to you now is that you are trying to please the women around you because you weren't "good enough" to your mother. The hard part about the whole situation now, is you have all of these built up notions of how women are based on the way your mother treated you... that we are all judging you and you won't be good enough for "us" (women). A lot of guys looks at girls like they are really mean (and of course there are some bit*** lol) but I promise you, girls are SO much more accepting than you think! Give us a chance :) and don't assume that just because you meet one girl that let you down, we all will. People are people no matter what their gender!

infernoFLWR · Answer

Why are you against therapy?

There are male psychiatrists out there, if talking to a female is the issue. And it's nothing to be anxious about or embarrassed and it's definitely going to be a much more helpful information than here... unless a shrink answers ... what are the chances really ?

maybe there are online shrinks .. like chat or websites or something else?

look into it...

There's no point in beating yourself up about this if you don't even know where exactly it's coming from. Easier said than done for sure, but it's the truth.

and about the girl - she was honest with you and didn't string you along "just in case" and you didn't spend your money to go see her and find out that she's been seeing someone behind your back. (my brother went through that at about your age ). I think she deserves a credit at least in that. And it's not about you or about that guy, but it's about her and she did respect you enough. Things change and you move on.

Finally, I just wanted to add that being a virgin and only 20 is nothing to worry about. First, deal with whatever prevents you from being comfortable around women and then worry about loosing your virginity...

Girls aren't out there waiting to laugh at you/judge you/mutilate you. There are f*cked up people but don't think that it's only my gender

SomebodyToldMeh · Answer

That's.. Interesting..

Moving on, I think you should just drop it. Many, many people have problems with their families. Many more have troubles with their parents. That girl who told you to move on? It's likely she's either a trap or she never gets attention.

Don't worry over it. She's regretting her choice with giving it up for that guy.

Being circumcised just means that it makes you a bit 'safer' during sex. I have no idea how, but I remember in health class that's the point they were trying to make. And, if you think of all the crap women have to deal with (staying thin, breast cancer, rape, dying during pregnancy, being looked down upon for her gender, ect., ect..), you're lucky that testicular cancer is the worst you have.

Hm.. You shouldn't feel like you're not worth having a relationship, to be honest.. It's nothing to fret over. And, the whole penis this is among (get ready now) sluts, unpleasant girls to look at, and just plain weirdo's. Decent girls don't care as long as we can feel something. : / Basically, it's a myth.

You shouldn't vent. Well, not in that matter, because if you do, why SHOULD you blame women judging you? Those types of men are the men that fuel the Teeth films and the general way some females carry themselves.

Well, that crap aside, you don't seem like a bad person, just stop being against women, and they'll naturally come to you. No joke.

FYI: Femies are the best in bed, mainly because, if you appreciate them, they'll appreciate you. Over and over.

teuton · Answer

I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY ... I am still slightly mysogynistic because my last Girlfriend cheated on me. The fact is, and we both know that you would love a Sweet, Innocent, Mature, Loving, Supportive woman, to share things with etc, but The past has distorted your perception of women in general.

Dont get down about a girl giving her virginity after 3 months, truth is that girls can be more comfortable with sex than guys first few times round. Some of my friends friends lost their virginity in disturbing scenes. One lost it to 5 guys in a hotel over a weekend. on her 16th bday.

Some girls can be messed up like that or just super-over-the-top sex addicts.

Dont let that get you down mate.

Dont ask me why but I am still waiting to find that beautiful loyal sweet honest mature woman. Try to remember that everything has a dark side. Also, don't be afraid to be judged during sex because girls ARE ALWAYS over the top sensitive about EVERYTHING before during and after sex. 9/10 times they don't usually worry about your body, they worry about theirs.

Im sorry your mom is so disconcerting. I know some great women, my oldest friend is a sweet Australian Girl, humble and religious. even she annoys me sometimes but realistically it is my problem, not her flaw, that annoys me.

Hope that helped

Akuma · Answer

Well you have just described my life. I had a bad break up when I was 20. We were engaged we were serious for 3.6 years. She did nothing but cheat on me and mess with my head. Get me into fights on nights out etc etc.

It resulted in my trying to commit suicide. I was unsuccessful as I was caught. But my state of mind was a huge mess. It took me years to get over the trauma I have not had a girlfriend since.

I am now 35 which is 15 years later I'm no closer to a better state of mind. I've just grown to accept this is the way I am now.

I hate the cituation really and I hate woman for what happened to me.

But i have only told one story thier is so much more. I was picked on at school by girls. I was pushed in a huge bed of nettles once aged 10. I was securely assaulted aged 12 by a girl.

I believe girls avoid me I feel uncomfortable around them. I have been set up so many times. I have been accused of rape even though I have been no were near them.

I hate them but I am attracted to them and want to be with a girl. Married kids etc.

I believe my mother is ashamed of me and does not have time for me.

Even looking at attractive girls passes me off because I feel robbed of my life.

I have just pored my thoughts out here none of it is in order but all very true and causing me enormous pain and mental suffering.

I believe I am just existing now and not much to live for. I have not been romantic with a woman for 15 years. I feel I just can not do it. But urges are over barring I hate them but want and need one in my life.

Why have they screwed my life up. What for why what did I ever do i am a great model citizen my police record is exemplary and I have never done 1 thing wrong in my life.

I have even tried to seek therapy and have had sessions with a woman therapist and a man therapist. But nothing has changed all of cam say is when you have been through this much it becomes who you are.

hallowman · Answer

one movies are movies...they are made from all sorts of sides...but we should not take movies as seriously as we do...also I'm circumsized and proud of it its not genetal mutilation...and yeah if you have low slef esteem this is hard to get over but as one person put you need a therapest that's both sexes...men and women are equal...we share the same number of chromosomes and we all have insecureties I personlaly can't help you but you also need to lay off the hate ...no reason to hate women...just like there is no reason to hate men..not every one is a hitler that wants the destruction of a certain thing that's not how the world works...sure you have the few that are crazy like the crazy men and the crazy women...in my eyes they do not have their priorites straight... some times we gota get over ourselvse or other people to change ourselvs what ever you momma did you need to forgive...and you need to move on...u need to let the hate go...hate gets no body anywhere it just digs a hole the deeper you dig the harder it is to get out...if you feel someone is being unjust let them know but move on don't dwell on it people who dwell on hate are doing any body any good.

flower1000 · Answer

some mums are like this I have 1 but its just her way femminists are missing some thing from there lives trust me my sister is 1 also if some 1 loves you  wich 1 dsay I'm sure they will as there is some 1 for every  1  she will love you for you even you can't perform she will still love you this is love don't bother about what other people think or say its there right  I have my opinions which I'm telling you right now  be happy enjoy your life I lost a brother  not so long ago he didn't bother a thing he just wanted his wife he gained 100 ilb before he died through medication she loved him like the day they married  2 years before people in thgis world do get angry at them selfs and at other people but its not your problem its there's you sound a nice man  and by the way if you like a girl just smileee at her don't be shy  many opertunities go by us being shy  some 1 for every 1 don't be hard on your self trust me my friend is a beaty really she doesn't even leave the house she's so shy and no confidance I'm working on it  good luck :) I'm sure your mum loves you in her way and as for circusision  woman love it cleaner it lookes nicer  OK :)

Anonymous · Answer

I know exactly how you feel. I used to be very angry at men. When I was young, boys always picked on me, even though I was very nice to them. As I got older, I became more angry at men because the seemed so cruel in many ways. Also, I was always rejected by men when I asked them out, & eventually stopped trying. Like you, I have never had a boyfriend/or been kissed.

But I eventually realized, I was being harsh against men. I couldn't punish all men for what "a few men" did. There are good men out there, & I know if a actively looked I could find someone who loved me as a I am. But, I've got over my anger of men, but not my fear. I do not try to formulate relationships with men because I have a fear of rejection. I've accepted that I'm probably never going to get married or do anything with men, I'm actually quite okay with it.

I would suggest to you, to not look at every woman the same. There are some good girls & women get hurt by men just as much as women hurt men. It is not a GENDER thing, it is a people thing. Some people are cruel, we have to learn this & try to connect to the good ones. If you don't want to end up alone like I'm going to, talk to a doctor to get over your fear. Take it from me, time flies, & before you know it, it is too late. I once saw a therapist for other anxiety issues I had, & now I'm much happier than I've been in five (long) years. You deserve to be free of your anxiety/hatred. We all do, face your fear, & pray (that is the best advice I can give.) Good Luck

missterie · Answer

Oh,a young man's anger.

You do need help. I hear you on the TEETH,I found it hilarious,and my son was upset, we rewound, and when she was treated right,nothing happened.

The circumscion thing, when my son was born, the doctor (male), tried to insist on it. His dad,insisted on it. I told them,Touch my baby,I CUT YOU. LOL,the times,they pressured a LOT. Not everyone is able to stand up. I'd just had a baby too,was a hard thing to do. Most of his friends are circumcised. MEN made the decision for each of them. The MOMS,if they had their time back ,would have done what I did. Things are not always as they appear ,my sweet.

NOW,this is a difficult time for a young man who doesn't have an important woman in his life, or a dysfunctional relationship with one. And you have been wounded by a love interest,adding to it. Heartbreak,I'm sorry to tell you,is part of it. Very few people find the loves of their lives first time out. And there will be many more disappointments. But with each one,you learn what you want,and what you don't want.

You are nice enough, and smart enough to know there is a better way to be. You just don't have the skills. That is what a therapist DOES. Listens,finds out what direction you WANT to go in,and help you learn the skills to deal with it. And not all therapists are the same,if you are uncomfortable,go to another one...Kind of like dating. If it doesn't work out, move on to another, until you find what works.

Good luck sweetie,women are not all bad, neither are men. We all get angry , in a general direction sometimes. It's okay. What is NOT okay,is acting on it. A therapist will help you work through it WITHOUT DAMAGE. Try it,you can always quit. No one can force you.

Be good to yourself. Oh ,and btw,the girl is just as afraid YOU are judging HER..Trust me.

human_condition · Answer

Heh, teeth was a good film. We put up with things like Lesbian Vampire Killers, what's wrong with biting off rapists' d***s?

Maybe you should do more research on feminism. The history of it, why it began, who started it.

I think you have many insecurities, perhaps beyond your fear of women (and feminists... we fear what we don't understand).

Go and see a therapist. Specify you need a male one; if you tell them about your Gynophobia they will certainly understand.

Stop putting women on a pedastal, we really aren't all that different to men.

virgo92 · Answer

I know how hard this is to overcome. Because I'm going through the EXACT same thing. Except I have fear/hatred for the male sex. It's really hard for me to create relationships with the opposite sex and if I do it's hard to keep it stable. Because of it I became severely depressed. There's lots of tips online on how to get help. First you have to understand where this started and where it's coming from. Then I heard the only true way to get help is to get counseling and trust me I hate the idea too. But I'm seriously considering it at the moment. Hope you can overcome it hun!

Belleza · Answer

ok take it from someone who has been molested - I fear men but men and women are not all that different! The only thing that is different between us is the penis and the vagina but we are capable of a lot of same things! By the way circumcision used to be done for women in Asian countries such as Saudi Arabia or Arabic countries overall - I think it is still being done! So yes there is a reason why feminism still exists and just do a research on second and third world countries - women are not as free in those countries as they are in America! I mean I completely understand where you are getting at but you can't really just think inside the box!

kidaphon · Answer

Don't despair bro, the last thing you want to do, is to be at the mercy of a woman.

If anything, women should have an inferiority complex when dealing with men, because we live in a generally patriarchal society these days. You did not mention anything about your social circle of friends which leads me to think that you do not have one. If you don't, get one. If they are guys, you can inundate them with all your worries and probably get a good pat on the back because another guy feels the same way as you. If they are girls, don't pull the same stunt unless you want them to look at you like another masochistic chihuahua on a leash. Unless of course you have a sexual interest in one of the girls in the said group, then feel free to practice your general 'arsehole' like behavior around them and observe the effects, because its likely if the sample is large enough, it can represent the bigger field of women out there.

Good luck mate, don't let them bring you down.

acka72 · Answer

Go to a therapist and perhaps a male therapist.  For starters you need to feel sexually capable of attracting and having sex with a woman.  So read "The mystery method", cause it will teach you how to attract women and have sex with them.  Since you haven't had sex yet, don't worry about being good or bad in bed just be attentive to the woman's needs and you'll get better at it throughout time.  If possible look for a much older woman who can teach you the ropes and perhaps she can be your substitute mother for a while.  Make some female friends and learn that women are human and that most of that feminist bullsh*t is because like you they are afraid of the opposite gender.

jacquesvol · Answer

You should make the difference between gynophobia (fear of women) link and misogyny (hate of women) link

Two different but possibly linked troubles, both compulsive behavior link .They're apt to ruin your social life.

As with any kind of compulsive behavior a therapist is the way to a solution.

VodoVich · Answer

I get what you're afraid of. You don't want to get close to anyone because you think they'll be controlling and judgemental, like your mom. Your mom is the only female you know, so you think all females will be like her. Also, a girl probably never approached you or shown interest in you, making you feel like people don't like you. A therapist can analyze your problems and may help you correct it.  If you don't believe in therapy, the only real way to lose these fears are to have positive experiences with women. I would say start small. Try to form friendships with them before forming a romantic relationship. It's not a good idea to get into a relationship if you're really insecurity. Don't tell any prospective friends about this issue. Reinvent yourself with new people.

msent · Answer

you just told everyone online... therapists are not half as bad as people online are. get a male therapist, but also a female therapist. the male therapist will help to understand what is wrong, while the female one will repect your views and help you, also while helping you to get over this fear of women. she will help you which in turn will help you realize that not all women are bad. PLEASE DON'T IGNORE THIS BECAUSE I AM A FEMALE, I go to therapy for the fear of rejection, oddly similar. good luck to you.

BunnyToast · Answer

Even though this has been said in almost every answer... You need to see a therapist, this sounds like the beginning/midst of terrible psychological problems. Request a man, and remember you don't have to open up to him right away. But just remember, if you can tell someone online about your problem it will be easy to do it in person. Therapists are there to help you, not judge you. Never feel ashamed to confide in one.

Arwens-Fire · Answer

I know you may not want to...but I think you should definitely go and talk to someone,a therapist,psychologist etc.They can help tackle the negative thought process and get to the root of it all..Things that happened concerning your mother early on in life was not your fault,however,now that you've noticed the negative thoughts and feelings,you can work towards improving diminishing them and improving yourself.

"Gynophobia" (fear/hatred of women)..what can I do about it?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

"Gynophobia" (fear/hatred of women)..what can I do about it?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.