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I'm jealous of my boyfriend's female friends and I hate it. Am I Nuts of Naive?

I know jealousy is ugly but I can't help but feel jealous when my boyfriend of six years has been making plans and hanging out with girls that I... Show More

Most Helpful Opinion

  • I completely agree. I absolutely hated my boyfriend's very few chick friends he had, and I told him. I asked him how he would feel and he said he wouldn't care, and it turned out he cheated on me,and I figured that was the reason. Now I found a new boyfriend (we've been together for 7 months now) and he feels the same way I do. If you want opposite gender friends, both sides of the relationship, boyfriend and girlfriend, should be friends with this person. For example, my boyfriend's best friend, Travis, and I are good friends. Travis's girlfriend, Anna, was close with my boyfriend a few years ago. I told my boyfriend I didn't like that he had a chick friend, and he completely agreed that it wasn't right to have a friend that I didn't know or like. He introduced me to her and now we're friends, too.

    To sum it all up, I believe that one shouldn't have opposite sex friends without it being a couple thing. If you're friends with someone, you should introduce them to your boyfriend/girlfriend and have them be friends too, so they don't feel so uncomfortable.

What Guys Said 1

  • from a guy's perspective:

    I can understand how he's shocked by your journal entry about the guy that you met at a party, but calling it cheating is really not justified. I've gone through similar things with my girlfriend that relate to feeling that their friends of the opposite sex may be just a little too close for comfort, and I too hate it. So I would say that the way you feel there is fair. Because I feel like in a relationship there are certain assumed rules, one would be that if your committed to a person there should be no need to be just as close with another person of the opposite sex. I would just say tell him how it bothers you. If he's not making a real effort towards it then maybe you aren't that important to him. I can personally relate to this because its been a problem for me in the past also. just do your part to let him know what's bothering you

What Girls Said 5

  • I Have a really good friendship with a guy. were best friends but his girlfriend doesn't like me. =( I really want to meet her to show her I won't do anything to break them up but my friend thinks its a good idea not for us to meet... just yet. I can see her being jealous and what not but I may be very good friends with him but I defiantly don't find him attractive at all in that way...

    I just wanted to tell you about my story... I hope everything works out! ~Lena

  • Jealousy is natual to feel, espeically if he has that many friends who are girls! Don't worry about it- you are so strong. There's nothing wrong with being jealous of those girls- in my opinion, they're kind of overstepping their boundaries!

  • It sounds like he is sending you on an emotional roller coaster ride, in other words, messing with your head even if he cannot see it..

    No I think if I was in your position, I would be jealous to because it sounds like he doesn't exactly know what he wants and he may find it easier to be friends with girls than guys?

    Maybe you need to sit him down and really talk things through about what he wants and tell him how you feel..

    If he is already going to other girls to get advice about your and his relationship then that's a sign he doesn't know what to do and it's also abit rude for him to be doing that because it's making you look like the bad person when you're not, when you only probably want an answer to why he is acting like he is..

    I think maybe, if you talk things through with him and if it doesn't come to some solution maybe consider letting go a little even if it hurts because it doesn't sound like he is really considering how you feel at all in this situation...

    • You're spot on Laura. Yes he doesn't know what he wants with life, a career, etc. He's uncertain and I also feel he's uncertain about us but he insists this isn't true and that the "plan" is still on. We've always talked about a future together, and I've sacrificed for this future loosing friends, moving, changing schools etc but he's done the same. He's my best friend and I don't want to loose him that's why this is so hard. I don't feel priority and it's breaking me.

  • That's way too many girl "friends" for me to handle. Fuck, you're strong girl. I don't know how to really take it in, but your jealousy is justified in my eyes, truly. I'm a jealous person as well, and let me tell you, my boyfriend never hangs out with girls without me because if I find out, I will go crazy like a mad woman on a suicide rampage and kill someone. ):

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