My boyfriend called me a filthy slut, is this forgivable?

[Anonymous]

Long story short my Boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. Every time things don't go the way he likes or he is really angry at me, he abuses me bitch, slut, etc etc, really nasty stuff. I have had enough of it, I warned him that if this happens again I was going to leave him.

It happen today he called me a "Filthy slut" and other horrible things. I told him 2 weeks back if it happens again I am leaving, and I told him I was dead serious this time. I have been putting up with this for a long time and I always forgive, just takes a I am sorry, I was mad or I love you and I forgive. He went too far this time.

I have had enough and today really was the final straw for me and I want to break up with him. I want to know your opinions on my breaking up with him. Am I over reacting by breaking up? Has this ever happened to you?

Also just to add after he said those nasty things to me today I informed him of my intentions of breaking up and my disgust in what he had said, he added "I meant it and its the truth, f*** off slut". Pardon my french, Your thoughts-He as never been physically violent , just verbally.

[JohnRJ]

You still thinking? Seems a no brainer to me. There is no way I know your whole situation, so don't expect a perfect answer. I do know this, life is too short and there are far more good people out there who would never think of being abusive.

In some ways, verbal is worst than physical abuse. Your not going to "fix" him, things are not going to get better, its been 3 years, quit wasting time on him. There are plenty non-abusive good guys. If however, you seems to always end up with such guys, there is likely an issue that you will need to look within before seeking a new partner.

From what you wrote, you seems to have been here before but somehow you bring yourself to forgive and go back. This turns things towards self abuse. You know by now to what he does, and you likely know its not going to get better, and yet you still go back. Who abusing who here?

Your clearly not happy with the situation. If your not the one abusing you, he is. He's the one hurting you, therefore, he's the one who destroyed the relationship. So why the guilt in leaving him? You have nothing to fix or reconcile. Tell him that from what he says to you, and how he treats you, that you feel he really does not love you and he needs to find a better love for himself. And move on. All breakups are painful, but usually they are for the best.

Life is too short and get someone more balanced who really loves you.

[willytheg]

This is a classic pattern of abuse and the likelihood is that he will eventually become physically violent. You are under reacting by breaking up. I would line up a restraining order once you do, I don't mean to scare you but he is treating you with no respect and you can only do that to someone whose emotional and physical well being you have no regard for. Do you know his family? Is there a pattern.

If you do, and I suspect you will, take him back. Please make it contingent upon him completing an anger management course. These are so infrequently effective that I hate to give you false hope. Don't ask yourself if you believe him when he comes back on the Macy's bullsh*t float telling you how sorry he is, ask yourself if you thing he will be the same better or worse in 5 years.

[thrsti4romance]

No! Be happy you are single and away from a loser who can't realize he has the best right there! My first boyfriend and I were together for 11 months. He emotionally abused me all those months and called me a fat whore behind my back and called me fat to my face! The very day I broke up with him I called my best friend and asked her if the guy who turned out to be my second boyfriend was single. Just three weeks ago he started threatening my life at school and actually tried to kill me! Now that all that drama is over I'm enjoying life with a girl I'm hoping to start dating soon. And hey a couple dates with the guys are enjoyed! I am still messed up from that relationship but never ever regret breaking up with someone who can't value you and love you for who you are. We females need to be strong and show those guys we will not be stepped on! Take your time before getting back in the game but you have to remember someone like that is not worth being with! I was contemplating suicide for half the time I was with him. I may get some therapy at some point but for now I'm just enjoying being single! I hope you can do the same.

[CocoPops]

Wow! I know how you feel my boyfriend did the same( Slut, slag, cow etc..) and we had been together for 1 year and 5 months. Firstly I think you need to stop saying "if you do it again I'm going to leave you" because he keeps doing it and you're still staying with him so his not taking it seriously, if you don't put him in his place his just gonna think he can say and do what he likes, he needs to start respecting you. I think you need to have a serious talk about it with him, as its clearly bothering you and you can't be with someone who doesn't respect you. If it doesn't stop then his clearly not the right guy for you, but if you love this guy and you believe he can change then don't give up just get

[Arwens-Fire]

Know within yourself that you are not those nasty names he is calling you. You should follow through with leaving him and not go back because he is verbally abusive to you. And just think...if he is capable of saying these things,what else is he capable of? What if he becomes physical with you in an abusive way? It's not a far stretch from what he is already doing. HE IS GARBAGE. And if you stay with him,you will be ignoring intuition and your sense of self worth. Leave and find someone who is worth you time.

[Kurosaki]

Stick to your words. If you said enough is enough with one more offense, then do it. Otherwise, your words are empty and when you make such statements in the future, they'll be taken lightly.

If you're not ready to leave, then don't threaten to. But from what you've said, it sounds like you should. Nobody should be subjected to abuse. One time is one thing, but consistent behavior is a sign to get out.

[Nijababe99]

Reality ...long story short in my opinion if he called me that we wouldn't even B going out anymore = dump him now that's what I would do ...so think about it how did yu feel when he called you that yu may think its noting but by taking him back you showing him that he can call you whatever and your going 2 take him back how would you feel if he called yu that in front of your frineds or family >?

[Bluemonk]

This guy sounds like a total douche bag.

You should never tolerate someone who verbally abuses you, that is not the behavior of people who care for you.

This guy will end up beating his wife if he can ever manage one.

Get out now.

Tell that loser to f--- off.

[owlinthesky]

That is a really abusive relationship, even if he isn't physically hurting you. It is never worth it to stay with someone who will constantly bring you down, its not fun for you, and its not fun for him so in my opinion you should just let it go. It will teach him something and hopefully encourage change in him for the next girl and it will encourage change in you, to have higher expectations of what a truly good guy to be with would be like. Hope everything turns out alright.

[Xenophobia]

That's a relationship that you need to get out of. Nobody deserves that type of abuse. Verbal abusive is damaging. Even thought he has not caused physical/bodily harm, the verbal abuse can eat away at your self esteem and self confidence. It can flat out ruin your image of yourself and cause you to become depressed.

[beeep]

Sounds like not only is he a tool, but you only condone the behavior by forgiving him every single time. Why should he not call you names if right after he says sorry it's like it never happened...Either break up with him, teach him a lesson, or go back to being abused verbally and emotionally.

[Anonymous]

that is called verbal and emotional abuse. its out of line and uncalled for. if you don't break up with him he's gonna keep doing it. you've dated him for 3 years and he's been like this, you really think he's gonna change? breaking up was a good thing. if you take him back then he'll just continue to do it.

[Sweet_tooth_lover18]

Dump him, he sounds like he doesn't respect you and even care about you. That is not a relationship you want to stay in. if he's done it once and respectively he will do it again.

Get out while you can. Your better then that.

[hesaysim2sexy]

wow for someone you love, he ain't worth your breath. that is horrible. me and my man might joke calling each other names but we know its just play. and you deserve better. so pack your bags and leave and don't ever look back

[gem504]

right, my boyfriend is very similar, never physically abusive. just verbally. the thing is I say 'just' verbally because as you know it hurts just as much. maybe more. you remember the bad names and the arguments, I know we shouldn't but how can you ignore what's said to you every day just to remind you your not worth it. I'm 5 and a half years into it now if I was you id get out because in 2/3 years time you could be stuck like me. 2 kids and no freedom xxxx

[BlackSuperman]

Verbal abuse is just as bad... leave him. He ain't worth it. I grew up around domestic abuse... it always starts verbally!

[tyt_2012]

Hear hear!! I agree

[BlackSuperman]

Damn right... studies prove it... and domestic abuse affects the whole family.

[ikarus]

same sh*t...different toilet. I have never referred to any girl in those terms...even if I thought it was true. my advice...MOVE ON.

[brunette1cookie]

Totally justified. Get out of that relationship. NOW.

[Belleast]

He is disrespectful to you. You should just break up with him asap.

[BlondeSudoku]

no, break up with him.

[Anonymous]

WOW. DUMP HIM. HE HAS NO RESPECT FOR YOU.