My Boyfriend Hangs Out With His Friends Too Much

I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 24. We've been dating for 14 months.

He hangs out with his friends EVERY NIGHT. He hangs out with them until it's A.M. hours, so when I go to his house he's too tired to stay up with me and hang out with me.

I've talked to him about this, and he says I'm controlling. I don't think it's controlling to tell him to quit hanging out so much when his habits are affecting our relationship.

Also when he's with his friends he doesn't tell me where he is and when he's getting back, and he says it's gonna be that way in marriage too.

He blows off plans with me to hang out with his friends too. Then he justifies it by saying "we can do that tomorrow."

And all of his friends are delinquents, they've all been in trouble with the police, and they still get in trouble. They always drink and none of them are 21.

His friends are also disrespectful towards me. They call me a bitch to my face and behind my back, and then they hit on me when my boyfriend isn't around. His friends also talk about killing people, and they like to get in fights and break things.

I've tried talking to him, but he says I'm wrong. I'd love some other input so I can show this to him.


Most Helpful Guy

  • What do you want us to say? The guy clearly has no respect for you, or cares about your feelings, he completely takes you for granted. You can't talk or reason some sense into him, not for want of trying. The real question here is why you tolerate it. Are your standards and self esteem really that low?


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What Guys Said 3

  • What's the point of showing can change him if he doesn't want to change. Nothing we can say will change that either,.

  • he won't change accept him as he is or the obvious find a better man, you have low standards, maybe raise them...

  • You need to dump him. It seems like you have not much in common and he isn't interested in spending much time with you. He is very disrespectful and so are his friends. There really doesn't seem to be anything good in your situation so you should end it. If you don't end it you are going to be living a depressed life.


What Girls Said 1

  • You're not wrong. It's not unreasonable for you to want attention from him, or respect from him and his friends. It's gonna be that way in marriage? I don't know either of you, so I could be wrong, but from what you've described here, I don't think you should be considering marriage, or even staying with him. Sounds like he's got a lot of growing up to do, and like he doesn't care much about your feelings. You'll find there's guys out there who will respect you and would love to spend time with you.