My boyfriend is slipping away from me - what should I do?
My boyfriend and I have only been dating for a few months but things became serious quite quickly and for the majority of our time together he has text me constantly every day, told me how much he hates the fact that he can only see me a couple of times a week (we live a train ride away from each other and both work full time), told me how happy I make him and how much he loves spending time with me and hates our time apart. He has always seemed very sincere about his feelings and has bought me little presents, made me cd's etc. Recently we had one bad weekend together (I was in a foul mood and probably behaving like a bit of a brat, which he didn't react to very well). Very suddenly he has cooled off despite my apologising for it and the fact that it is the only time we have every had a bad day together. I put it down to being a minor blip and didn't give it a second thought but he has suddenly cooled off stopped texting and calling me and hasn't asked to see me again. I said do you want us to stop seeing each other and he said he didn't want that, but he won't see me and has actually changed his facebook status so that his relationship status is hidden from public view. I've given him his space and tried to back off a bit but I just feel so shut out and confused, because in my mind all couples have bad days now and then and I didn't think it warranted such a dramatic change in behavior? I'm not being naive, I know for a fact that he genuinely really liked/likes me, I just don't know how to react to this and whether I should back off even more, tell him we should go on a break and see if that shocks him into action or push for an explanation? Please help.
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Most Helpful Opinion
He behaved a lot like my ex did. Lol, you think having a fight two months after dating is bad... try a week. I'm the type who cools off immediately after I understand where the miscommunication went wrong. My ex? COMPLETELY more emotional than I was. Not crying or anything like that, but shaken up enough that he DEF. distances himself from me, enough that I broke up with him. You should date someone who reacts to fights better than he does and who's more understanding, and optimistic. He sounds like a really sensitive guy but not in a way that's beneficial for both of you. I was just about to say he was way too idealistic when I read a blip of Neberle's comment. He's right. I mean think about it... what does this guy do when he gets in disagreements with his friends... cut them off? Like he can't handle anybody ever being angry? Plus, I'm sure your foul mood couldn't be any worse than my temper. Then again, you did say you don't get to spend a lot of time together. So that leaves room for him to idealize you a LOT since he's not used to your mannerisms quite yet. Chalk it up to your first fight, and if he breaks up with you move on and find somebody else 'cause it wasn't worth the effort in the first place for that minor of a deal.
What Guys Said 2
This is called buyers remorse he was head over heels in love with a perfect girl... then he found out you aren't perfect. This is more his problem than yours. I would say that you should stop contacting him completely if he contacts you than great he has decided to be a man and accept that you aren't perfect but like you anyway. Or he can be a little wimp and keep looking for a perfect girl. If he leaves he isn't as great as he seemed when you met him.Now the other part of this is do not forget this event. The blip that resulted in him being a drama queen might happen again and again. If it does than you can't trust him to not just leave you for no reason or the first time something serious happens.
Brace for impact.
What Girls Said 2
dear lou lou, what was the quarrel that you had all about...? and did you hurt him with words that day?i don't know if my guy have a snappy mood I would back off for a while and see where our relation is going... but if it was the first time, I think that both of you should move on and don't make a big deal out of it. but if he wants some space give it to him...i hope things will be great for you
Try your best to make it work..f you "back off" he'll slip away from you..tell him how much you like/love him and you enjoy being with him. Be nice to him, show him you're mature..and treat him nicely.Good luck :)