How can I tell if my long-distance boyfriend truly loves me?

[Anonymous]

I have a long-distance relationship, and I've asked in the past how to tell if a guy loves you, but it's always talking about looking at their actions, not words... well, in my relationship, all I have is words! how can I be sure that he really loves me? what are the signs of true love in a long distance relationship?

[splat]

'actions' in your case refers to body language. the next time you two meet in person, study his body language as you ask him if he loves you. there are non-verbal cues to see if he is lying or is unsure of what he is saying. if you ask him if he loves you and he rubs his nose, puts his hands to his mouth or chin, or touches his ear, it is a cue that something is wrong and he doesn't feel sure of what he is saying (and he may be lying outright). If he doesn't do any of those and he asks you if you love him, watch his reaction. if he puts a finger or hand to his eye, puts his hand or finger to his ear, or covers his face in any way, it is a sign that he either doesn't believe what you are saying or doesn't want to hear it. If he doesn't do any of the above and looks from one of your eyes to the other, then down to your neck; or if he touches his collar, pulls his shirt down, runs his hand through his hair, or shows his thumbs in any way, it means he is interested in you intimately and hopes that you will show him a similar non-verbal cue (like touching your hair in any way, or touching your hand to your chest or neck).

LDRs are incredibly difficult. However, I have a friend who was patient with her LD boyfriend and they fell in love. He converted to mormonism for her, moved from Texas to California, and now they ahve 2 kids and couldn't be happier. They can work, but there has to be a lot of trust and communication. Enough money to travel back and forth doesn't hurt, either.

[Anonymous]

alright, where is he from? how long have you been talkign to him? how old is he? what's the nature of this relationship (mutual needs wise, i.e. what do you want him for)?

[Asker]

We're in a serious relationship & known each other for years. I really love him & he does too. LDR can be hard because the lack of "actions". Girls do like to test actions all the time.

[Opinion Owner]

I was asking so I could give you a hand :) anyways, LDRs are pathetic, they rarely ever end well. In an LDR you're only using 2 senses out of your 5, those two senses are most conceiving. I'd still give you a better answer if you had mentioned more details, most importantly where he lives and his age.

[Asker]

He lives in Canada & is almost 26. Known each other for years but been in a serious one since last January. He's committed & me as well but as you are saying the "senses" part makes me go crazy! Thanks :)

[Opinion Owner]

have you met before?

[Asker]

Yeah sure :) he's a colleague from college. we always liked each other but never said anything until unfortunately he travelled to Canada & we met online kinda made it clear & were very happy about it. He came here in summer for me to meet my parents. It is serious & he loves me & I do. Maybe that he's far is killing me.

[Opinion Owner]

well that's nice, best of luck to you both! :)

[Asker]

but the actions part?

[Opinion Owner]

You just need to meet more often, you need to set a time schedule and make action. If you were in love, why not go over there and marry?

[rachiee]

Well unfortunately there's no clear ways to tell someone's intentions in a long distant relationship. I would look at how much he communicates with you, does he go out of his way just to talk to you on a normal basis? Also does he make plans for you guys for the future to be together in a normal relationship? If he doesn't show any signs that he wants to meet you one day or signs that he wants to physically be with you (meaning being in the same room as you) then chances are he isn't as serious about the relationship as he makes himself seem to.

[Asker]

Thank you for the reply :)

No, he is serious & he's working hard for us to be together soon. But you know sometimes we girls assume some romantic gestures which doesn't happen & start asking does he really love me? It's just hard that you can't test his "actions" when he's far away. That's y I was asking if there is any sign other than words when your both distant.

[Deepikareddydavid]

If we met already nd he is not interested to talk to me, what does it mean, does he really love me?

[Trihill]

1. fidelity to you

2. communication intimacy, at a minimum on a daily basis

3. reassurance to you

[Asker]

As you are a guy, please illustrate more. He calls & texts regularly, he's keen to make sure I'm happy & nthn bothers me from him. & he always say soon together & everything. its just we girls always look at the "actions" part which isn't available in my case. so, if you can illustrate more pls? :)

[Trihill]

action oriented will not cut it in LDR...you need to find a compromise by telling verbally what you want...it's great being together in a relationship where everything is mostly non-verbal...there's something that's missing which is making you the way you are and that's what you need to tell him to get his reassurances...i don't know you and I don't know him, so you need to work that out with him, everyone is different...it took me a decade to figure out my girl LDR