My boyfriend likes to go several days without talking to me.

My boyfriend likes to go several days without talking to me. He doesn't have a cellphone, or a car, or a computer. He has a home phone and a job. He lives in down town Chicago and I live about 30-45 minutes away from there.

Our first month of dating he didn't talk to me for nine days straight and one of those days was our anniversary. I called him once a day every day and left him voice mails. He never called me back until my best friend went to Chicago to go see one of our other friends and she met Andy (my boyfriend) she got him to finally call me. He told me that he had a lot going on so he put himself into a bubble. I told him that I understood and he broke up with me that night for about an hour or so but I stayed on the phone with him and helped him with his problems. sure I was extremely mad that he broke up with me but I still loved him so I wasn't going to let him be scared and alone. Needless to say we got back together and we started talking on a daily basis again. Then about a week or two ago he started hanging out with his friend Kris a lot more and kris got andy a new job so andy had to go out take a drug test get his license again and he wants to save up to buy a car and maybe a cell phone. I haven't talked to Andy in a few days and I got a major throat infection and the other night I was in the hospital with IV tubes all over the damn place. So I had my best friend call him and naturally he didn't answer so she left him a voice mail and I still haven't talked to him! I might have to go back to the hospital to be put on steroids for my throat and it seems like my boyfriend doesn't give a darn. what should I do? or am I just being needy? sorry for the long essay :S


Most Helpful Girl

  • I am in a long distance relationship as well, and he is very busy as is frustrating when he doesn't touch base for days! I know how you feel. I am sorry you are not feeling good right now, weirdly, this past year has tough for me too, health wise.

    Before you dump him, perhaps suggest the cell phone he gets lets him I'm you.(instant message) We have found that to be very helpful, as some guys are not 'talkers', and feel sort of 'talked out' when we may not have even got started! I believe gmail and of course yahoo have nice im-ing. pics are nice to send via cell too. It also lets him contact you, and have freedom from verbal if he is in a rush-and you feel better having a little 'hello' in your day. Or simple old txting is great. BlackBerries and others are cool to use for lots of txting, etc.

    Of course, if he just doesn't give you the communication you long for, in the long run-you are deserving of a guy who will connect with you the way you need and want. Please feel better soon, hugs~ >';'< meow grrl power!

    • heheh thanks so much! that was the EXACT answer I was looking for! I didn't want to dump him because I love him and you can't just let go of someone you love with just the snap of your fingers. thank you so much and I hope you feel better too *hugs!*

    • I agree;dumping isn't just a 'k, I dumped him now I feel super better", tho that would be nice-if it is indeed time to dump.Love is deep,notsuperficial

      You have put time into your relationship &trying different angles &directions help you feel like you know you did your best-if that didn't help,then ok...waaa dump time. Having been in a very long term relationship before this current one I'm in, I know relationships shift and grow, sort of like a garden. ups downs, in betweens... >';'< LOL~

What Guys Said 2

  • The only part needed was the question. He's really not worth your time find yourself a new boyfriend.

  • He's not your boyfriend if he ignores you like that. You obviously don't mean much to him. Dump this loser.


What Girls Said 4

  • I think its time for you to move on and find someone who pays attention to you. I understand that he's working and he's probably busy with work but that's no excuse to go that long without talking to you especially if you were in the hospital. I don't think he cares about you as much as he may make you think. Give it some time. Break up and date other guys, if things were meant to be then things will happen. But right now you both need a break from each other.

    • i guess, and I was thinking about that as an option but when we do talk all he tells me is that he knows he doesn't talk to me often but he really loves me and he wants to marry me and as soon as he gets his car he'll come see me more often. I kind of want to wait until he gets his car but at the same time I don't think I can.

  • move on. he's not worth your time what so ever.

  • who asked out who?

    • he asked me, both times

    • oh maybe he's really busy. just talk to him and ask him what's going on