How do men feel about women over 30?

Question

I'm a single thirty-something and yes I do want a family and yes it is getting closer to biological clock cut-off time! I know that scares men and I do get that - but I don't think they understand how harrowing it is for women who think they may never get the chance to do what we were put on this earth to do - procreate and be mothers! But I don't just want a man for that, I want the companionship, the cuddles, the kisses, the support - I don't want to be lonely forever!

Do you guys just see 30-something women as desperate baby-mad human beings who scare you? Or would you be able to put the baby issue aside and consider a relationship with one? (I don't mean those guys with a 30+ woman who have been with her for years btw).

PacificLothario · Accepted Answer

What I encounter most often in women over 30 is that they state things like "not looking for one-night stands for friends with benefits", "serious relations only!", etc... I interpret this as: "if you attempt to build chemistry with me and are passionate I'm gonna put the kibosh on it". Why would I want to spend my time with a woman who is gonna shut down my efforts? Any relationship should be a "team" effort. We need to be on the same side, working together. But this very defensive approach that is typical of women over 30 is instead adversarial. They say they want "serious" relationships. Prison is serious. Cancer is serious. Relationships should be ENJOYABLE, and what's more enjoyable than sharing some orgasms ( lol XD).

All other things being equal (personality, etc), men pursue energy, beauty, and fertility. All of those are objectively in decline after 30. Anyone over 30 has SOME sort of dating and sexual experience. Which means that men had sexual access to the woman when she was in physical prime. Now, over 30, she's raising the "barrier to entry", so to speak, for said access. This is equivalent to trying to sell someone a used car, but at a new car's price. It should be obvious that any successful man with dating options would find this insulting.

Another guy mentioned the increased risk of Asperger/autism in children with later pregnancies. Also, studies show that pair-bonding and the success rate of marriages declines as the number of sexual partners increases. So as a woman builds up sexual experience/partners as she ages, the likelihood that she will destroy your life in a divorce also increases.

Finally, women are comfortable dating older men if they are successful, charismatic, etc... so a 30-50 year old guy who has life experiences can often just as easily date a 25yo woman who has the same basic personality traits as his 30+yo options.

So consider all of those together: >30 women are defensive, they have a higher likelihood of psychosexual/emotional baggage from their years of dating that makes them a long-term relationship liability, their fertility is fading, and often so is their physical beauty.

Over 30 women are great for FWBs if they are comfortable with that role, but most aren't, and it should be no surprise now why it is RATIONAL for men who have options to pursue other alternatives (aka the under 30 crowd).

Jager66 · Accepted Answer

id love to date a woman in her 30's with any luck she's out grown the sillyness of her 20's!

DishLady · Accepted Answer

You need to separate the two things: Dating and Baby-Making. Do you want the companionship of a man or the support of a man while making and raising a family? They're two different things.

If you want someone to take you out dancing, flirt with you on the beach, run out in a rain storm with you, heckle with you while watching Netflix, etc. etc. then you're looking for a date/boyfriend, not necessarily a husband.

The very word MARRIAGE scares a lot of guys off from the get-go. Related words (commitment, children, in-laws, ... Roth IRA) are all backed into the dizzying concept for them. Girls tend to idealize the institution of marriage and lose sight of the fact that your sexy date nights will more or less disappear along with your waistlines for several phases in the baby-making segments of your life together. Sure you can snap back (physically and socially), but it is inevitable that the passionate flames will simmer on low for a while. There will be a lot of frustration; there may also be fighting if only to encourage post-fighting make-up sex (which may lead to another addition to your family, lol).

It doesn't matter how long you've known the guy. In the end it's the expectations you build together that determine where you're going to go in the relationship. I know you're going through a major phase, but just try not to lay all the baby-making stress on him. We are lovers by nature, girl, not just baby-making machines. ;-)

naveed33 · Answer

well I am from a different culture(eastern). I am a handsome and a tall guy.and in our culture men don't marry women if they get over 26 or 27. actually 28 is also very old for men. now I remember when I was a boy around 14 I started to feel a lot of attraction towards girls.the girls treated me extremely badly calling me names(pervert, ugly or whatever) and I was not alone they did it to everyone of us. don't know if it made them feel powerful or what. but they did it  to the point that I felt that there was something wrong with me being attracted to them. so I and rest of my peers stopped running after them and only communicated with girls when there was something of utmost importance. this kept on happening till I was 18. by this time I had a hell lot of control over my sex drive. I was a young man and I had pretty much excelled the art of mouth f***ing people(I don't take bitching from women anymore I tell them I am a man and deserve to be respected).i felt that women who were younger than me started to show interest in me. but I had already started to hate them. they had already caused me a lot of pain this feeling was shared by my peers as well. guess what slowly things changed more and now these girls started coming to us by making excuses like help in studies this and that etc, in short making themselves approachable and guess what we did the same with them it was lovely. but the problem is I still hate them for doing all that to me. now I am 25 and have a job and everything now the same old bitches want to get into my wallet by offering me p****. the point is I am not really interested in them anymore. I use them in every possible way and then dump them. and by the time I am 30 I will choose a young desperate girl around 22 and marry her if I wish to (alot of my older friends have chosen not to do so and they are very happy). and I can do it because men are a by (42:58) minority in the part of the world I live so there is competition the other way around. but actually the problem is that you women have mistreated these men really badly playing by your rules or whatever group policy you have when you are younger. remember what goes around comes around. learn to treat men better stop playing games and then expect to be treated better. or maybe they don't like you as you may not be as attractive anymore. or they might be women haters. or they are having such a good time that they don't want to settle down . plus older men have damped sex drives you would have to be very direct if you want something from them other wise it may not work

MrMysteryMan · Answer

Nope. Now that I've matured and now a bit more about how women think (but will never know exactly or everything of how a woman thinks).

One thing that I never thought of about having children is the fact that the younger a woman is for having kids, the better chance there is of that child not being born with a mental deficiency such as Autism or Downs. That's a big thing. Especially as women get closer to 40, the window decreases exponentially. Also, think about it. It's HAAAARRRRDDDDD to raise a kid. Especially if he/she is very active and has energy to burn. So the younger a woman is, the easier it is for her to keep up with the demands that raising a child generates as well as the energy level that is needed to keep up with children who want to ask every question in the book @ least 10 times a day, wants to go everywhere they aren't supposed to and quicker than you can, that wants to pull and grab everything they want that they aren't supposed to, climb on everything, etc., etc, etc, ...

So I definitely have a little more understanding of why women want to have kids early or worry about having kids earlier in their lives.

Slugworth99 · Answer

Years ago, it may have been very unusual for a woman to still be in her 30's and single. She may have even been stuck with the tag 'Old Maid'. Many people are waiting longer to get married and have children. So, I think you are part of what is quickly becoming more of a normal thing. I don't see a single woman in her 30's as anything unusual. If I were to ask her why she hasn't gotten married, she could have a number of acceptable answers - "Guys in their 20's are SO immature" "I wasn't ready to get married" "It was my decision - got a problem with it,dude?"

BigBlueEyes · Answer

I'm 30 and most the girls I've dated were 20-25 in the last few years...

NYE I met a woman who was/is brilliant, we met up again a few days later and it turned out she was 36, about to be 37. I was surprised, she acted young and fun and looked brilliant.

But it was clear after a few chats that she wanted kids and such and while it wasn't a case of in the next 3 months, I also felt she didn't want to spend 6 months seeing if "us" was a good thing, she kind of wanted a guarntee...

So I ended it... which I felt bad about, but I couldn't promise anything and I didn't want to waste the time she sees as being so important... If she was late 20s and not worried about the biological clock I think we'd be together right now and having good times...

this is just an honest version of events from my POV. I hope this gives you some insight to the workings of at least 1 guy out there?!

Belgie · Answer

I would only consider a relationship with a woman in her 30's, because at my time of life, I'd be ready to settle down too.

I think your biological clock scenario only terrifies men who aren't ready to settle down. And why are you trying to get with those guys anyway?

Zirus · Answer

I honestly think women worry about their age so much more than the guys do. Its kinda like guys and their penis, we tend to worry about that a lot more than the woman does. Sure there's always exceptions to every rules but in general...if we like a woman, we won't care how old she really is..plus you are ONLY 30 something, don't just go for a guy because ya worried, find something you truly have a connection with, don't do anything that you'll look back and regret ;)

Anonymous · Answer

Well I don't want children, and I know women who don't want to have children, and I don't think women are put on this earth for that. Anyone can decide what they want to do with their lives. You just have to find the guys who share the same future plans as you.

Anonymous · Answer

The baby part sounds a bit desperate. While I totally understand, it also sounds like anyone will do? Or that there's a rush for it. And that's not something to build a relationship on. Otherwise, I have no problems with women over 30.

cool_guy2x · Answer

I am 22 and I won't mind having sex with someone over 30  because I think they are more mature and willing to settle down(not as in marriage though)

Anonymous · Answer

Id bang them if they are hot

How do men feel about women over 30?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said