I see from your other responses that this boy is selfish. Point out to your daughter that he has no respect for your daughter and he is selfish. The fact that he will not eat at the table next to you and your daughter is extremely disrespectful to your daughter (not just you). Give your daughter a lesson in how to spot the selfishness in boys. I also read that he wants your daughter to bring him his plate of food! Teach your daughter that she was not put on this earth to be any man's servant. Teach your daughter how degrading this is to her.
Also teach your daughter that his behavior reflects how he truly feels. The fact that he went to Disneyland and did not get on a single ride with your daughter means that he is not willing to do a favor for her. If he really cared about your daughter then he would actually want your daughter to have a good time, but he tried to convince your daughter not to get on rides. Teach your daughter that this behavior reflects that he does not care about your daughter enjoying her time at all, because he was not willing to do something just for her. Teach your daughter that real men will sometimes do something they don’t like just to keep their women happy and that includes getting on a roller coaster and eating at the table.
Also point out that if he truly wanted your daughter to be happy at the beach then he would have gotten off the towel and he would have endured whatever discomfort comes with feeling the sand on his feet and he would have played (Frisbee, volleyball, or any game at all) with your daughter on the beach. The fact that he did not move because of the discomfort of the sand on his feet is really degrading for your daughter. Point out that if he will not endure sand on his feet to keep her happy and show her a good time then he will never show her a good time and he will never do any favors for your daughter. Ask your daughter if this boy makes her laugh or smile at all. Ask your daughter if he has ever done any favors for her to make her feel happy.
Teach your daughter that actions (or lack thereof) speak more than words. Ask your daughter what this boy says to her that makes her like him. Then compare the words he says with the actions he does (or doesn’t do) and find the contradictions between his actions and words. I am sure there are more examples of his behavior that reflect how selfish he is. Then get her to reach the conclusion that he is not genuine and no good. Most importantly this boy acts as if he wants the world to revolve around him, and teach your daughter how to recognize this rotten character trait in him (and all rotten traits in any man). Teach her to observe that if things don’t go his way then he pouts about it. You daughter should know that this behavior is childish so why would she accept a boyfriend who behaves childishly and selfishly?
Let's do math here. Your profile says you are 27 years old. You have a 16 year old daughter. That means you gave birth to her when you were 11 years old...hmmmm.
you should have a sit down talk with your daughter and the boy just the 3 of you only. then talk about the situation in a calm matter, I know you may dislike him but you have to be calm and cool. talk to him and tell him how you feel but say it nice. Ask him why is he the way he is. tell him that you love your daughter and it's natural for you to want her to be with a guy who can get along with everyone. Maybe he has issues in life or with his family and he doesn't know the right way to act, and he wants your daughter to his self because he only feels comfortable with her. It's all about communication. then have your daughter leave just the two of you and tell him that you know you haven't been getting along and that if he's going to be around the family he will have to change his behavior. tell him that you want to make an effort to get along ( I know you probably don't want to but maybe he's a lost young boy crying for help) Talk to him in a positive way, he may give you dirty looks while you talk to him but don't to the same, be the adult that you are. and if he talks back just tell him he too needs to make an effort if wants to stay with your daughter. remember to keep your calm, because you wouldn't want things to get worse. So communication and making an affort. when your daughter sees that you do this for the sake of everyone she will see you in a brighter light. you should also tell your daughter to talk to him more about the situation.
i know that trying to communicate will be hard but if you want change you have to make an effort for the change. If you can't get rid home without people arguing, I'm telling you calm communication can help.
i've been through this with my younger sis who is 17 and her boyfriend was a jerk, who didn't talk to anyone and had no manners but I sat down and talked to him, he reasoned out with me but I kept trying to open him up and come to find out he was abused by his father. so now he and I are close and he comes to me for problems.
so just try it. and if it doesn't work just tell your daughter that you do not appreciate his behavior and she better do something about it.
At whatever age you are and as a mother of a 16 years old, I think you need to be patient and stop overreacting because it is not going to help with your situation. The boy knows that you don't like him and he is baiting you. many time his behavior based on how you and your family treat him when your daughter is not around. If you treat him like shit then he is going to give a hard time too. If you want to be respect by him, you have show the same courtesy. From your reactions and the way you respond to other people answers, clearly show that you need to grow up yourself because you need to set a good example for your daughter. You don't want her to follow your foot step as rude, foul mouth and a bitter woman.
Ha, this reminds me of Parental Control on MTV.
You should have a say in who your daughter dates while she's in high school. You probably only want what's best for her. I'm going to agree with the answer you choose as best. The three of you sit down. If your daughter still wants to be with him, and he is stll acting like a punk tell him he can't come over to your house anymore.
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Something's foul here and it is not AJtogo's answer.
Anywho, it's your "daughter's" decision not yours whom she dates, if you forbid her she'll do it behind your back. For him being rude to you, at 26 you should know how to deal with a 16yr old kid.
No reason to be rude I don't see where he was so no need for it. He is right that would mean you had to have her at 10 years of age, Ok then she is 16 you have every right to get rid of him. If you can call the cops on him if you wanted to. now my question why would you go to jail?
well I have had boyfriends that my parents don't like. and in time your daughter will see what a but head this kid is. He will learn his lesson and the truth well come out one day when she catches him doing something rude. you should ignore him because you know really what he is, an immature 16 year old jerk. She will see the true him in no time.
I am very interested in your story, I work for a new talk show called the Bill Cunningham show and we are doing a topic on "I hate my child's boyfriend/girlfriend..." I wanted to see if you were interested in talking to me further more about your story. email me at kingston.jenny@ymail.com
Tell her she can't see him. Explain why. Not that you owe her an explanation, but it's a teaching moment.
if he makes her happy you should just put up with him. but tell her about the looks he gives you. you should try and put up with him..
you were 10 years old when you had your daughter?
tell her how you feel
tell her this
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