you should have a sit down talk with your daughter and the boy just the 3 of you only. then talk about the situation in a calm matter, I know you may dislike him but you have to be calm and cool. talk to him and tell him how you feel but say it nice. Ask him why is he the way he is. tell him that you love your daughter and it's natural for you to want her to be with a guy who can get along with everyone. Maybe he has issues in life or with his family and he doesn't know the right way to act, and he wants your daughter to his self because he only feels comfortable with her. It's all about communication. then have your daughter leave just the two of you and tell him that you know you haven't been getting along and that if he's going to be around the family he will have to change his behavior. tell him that you want to make an effort to get along ( I know you probably don't want to but maybe he's a lost young boy crying for help) Talk to him in a positive way, he may give you dirty looks while you talk to him but don't to the same, be the adult that you are. and if he talks back just tell him he too needs to make an effort if wants to stay with your daughter. remember to keep your calm, because you wouldn't want things to get worse. So communication and making an affort. when your daughter sees that you do this for the sake of everyone she will see you in a brighter light. you should also tell your daughter to talk to him more about the situation.
i know that trying to communicate will be hard but if you want change you have to make an effort for the change. If you can't get rid home without people arguing, I'm telling you calm communication can help.
i've been through this with my younger sis who is 17 and her boyfriend was a jerk, who didn't talk to anyone and had no manners but I sat down and talked to him, he reasoned out with me but I kept trying to open him up and come to find out he was abused by his father. so now he and I are close and he comes to me for problems.
so just try it. and if it doesn't work just tell your daughter that you do not appreciate his behavior and she better do something about it.