Why do people chase after people who don't want a relationship? why don't you just accept you want diff things
fear of commitment afraid of being hurt difficulty trusting- call it what you will. but of you want a relationship & they do not, then not only do they not want one but you two are bot compatible. its like you have completely different ways of dealing with reality. you dive in they avoid. so leave them alone. don't be mad, just recognize your differences & find a diver. Would you go diving with someone who liked to swim & get mad when they didn't want to jump- no that would be absurd. & it doesn't matter if you are waiting for so long. people can FEEL when you want something- its emotions they respond to in intimacy- not words. So it will still feel like jumping even if you feel to them ,like nothing is moving forward or you're being patient etc.
I'm not asking if you think they'll give in or come around, I'm asking why you don't leave them alone to be comfortable by themselves- maybe they will not be as comfortable as they think. As long as people who are 'not ready' have people hanging around just in case -they never have to be ready.. or realize they didn't want to be alone all the time. I think its respectful to yourself & them to take them seriously. Someone snt ready leave them alone find someone who is -IF that's what YOU want. Or just enjoy time to do w/e you want.
bottom line. people who WANT a relationship should be with people who WANT a relationship. people who dot should have their own space. why force something that demeans everyone involved( because of the conflicting preference- making it seem as if one or the other is flawed? its just different not flawed & it isn't something you can argue your way into or out of. feelings are just that. you can't be right or wrong- just you.
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What Guys Said 2
i don't think anyone is trying to force something...i think that knowing what you is a good thing, some people dont...but I also feel that your getting confused here, see some people like a chase...that person doesn't want a relationship with them, well why not? can I change their mind, there has to be something I can do...those types of questions come into play...i think you have to be mature about a situation and understand what's going on...also (moreso with girls) people like attention...when you get the attention you don't want it but when you don't get it you want it...it seems dumb right? well it is, people need to mature and grow up and stop playing games...i agree with you when you say if someone wants one then love will find you, if they don't then leave them be...see its the immature people who are about the chase, they don't realize that love finds you, you shouldn't have to find love...
just my opinion and insight on what I feel you were trying to say...
What Girls Said 1
I completely get you! I as well (like the gentleman above) am inclined to WANT to change that situation, however tempted I am I don't. It is what it is and you have to be clear on what you want from the beginning. That way you know what you're getting into. I don't want to waste my time or anyone elses..