Boyfriend hasn't said "I love you"... does he love me?

We've been together for a year and he has only said he "really likes me". He's a shy guy and typically doesn't express his emotions well, however, I know he has told at least one ex that he loved her, so I feel inadequate when all I'm hearing from him is "I like you." So last time he said that, I jokingly said "no you don't" and he said "maybe it's more than that..." then the subject of our conversation changed (ugh!). Recently he told me he cares about me more than he has ever cared about a girl and he's worried about me leaving him because he thinks I can do better. I reassured him that he is all I want and I'm not going anywhere. So now he seems to be gradually opening up about how he feels. This weekend he cuddled up with me and started telling me all of these things he's never said before, telling me his life revolves around me, he thinks about me constantly and I'm in most of his dreams... "you're the most beautiful person I know", "I don't know what I'd do if you ever left me," "I've spent most of my life in these long bouts of depression... and now that I have you I can't be unhappy, just thinking about you and knowing that you're somewhere thinking about me." He told me how important it is to him that I am comfortable and happy in every way. He even told me if I stay the way I am, he'll never have to look for a girlfriend ever again.

I think he might be in love with me, but I don't know if I'm reading this all wrong. Do you think he is? And if he is, why can't he say it?


Most Helpful Girl

  • He could just be scared. My boyfriend, who I have been with for a little over a year..still hasn't said "I love you"..but, I am not going to push it. He has loved one girl in his whole life..But, she cheated on him and hurt him really bad. So, my guess with my boyfriend and your boyfriend, is that they are afraid of loving another person..and want to make sure that you will not hurt him like he was hurt before...for example, just breaking up with him..or cheating...and etc. I think he does love you...but, he may be scared to say it yet. He may also get his moments where he withdraws himself...I know my boyfriend does. I think its his way of protecting himself. He feels these feelings that he loves, and gets he backs off. I am not sure if your boyfriend does this..but if he might be the same situation as mine. My boyfriend dated his last girlfriend for 2 years! And still didn't tell her that he loved her! I guess some people just need time...Good luck.

    P.S- I wouldn't push it though, for him to say it. And, it might help, if you casually say it to him.

    • I think you might be right

    • If I am..he will come around. It may take some time...but he will :-)

    • sry to interfere with that question, but I couldn't help it when I read your comment, I am in the same situation exactly with my b.f, he had an ex g.f , she was the only girl he loved..and she cheated on him..

      my question here is how do you treat your b.f? I mean you say you dnt push him to say he loves u.. so how do you deal with him to ensure he's moving on..n not just taking you for granted..and how do you find the patience in doing so?


Have an opinion?


Send It!

What Guys Said 1

  • Well first off he sounds like he is developing an unhealthy obsession with you when he says "I don't know what I'd do if you left me" but besides that, most guys (myself included) avoid saying we love a girl because it can ruin a relationship if said too early. rushing him into it will throw him off and make him feel awkward about it, and becoming upset because he hasn't said he loves you won't solve anything. Let him get to it in his own time, or tell him you love him to see his response.


What Girls Said 3

  • Give him time. When he says it, it will be for real.

    As a side note: try not to pressure him into saying it. My cousin wanted her boyfriend to propose so badly, and she kept hassling and hassling her boyfriend. It turned out he had planned a big surprise proposal that would take her breath away, but on one particular day she was hassling him so much that he broke down and gave her the ring when she was in a fit of rage and showed her what he had planned to surprise her. She pretty much ruined her own proposal.

    You might be doing the same thing if you hassle him to say "I love you." He wants it to be special. He wants you to know you are special and that he means "i love you" when he says it. So appreciate him for the shy, honest, caring, supportive, un-manipulative, great guy that his is. It will mean more to you when he finally does say it.

    • awww :-) how sweet..but, sad. lol. I will remember this! Haha. Thanks girl! this question was not for me...but, you seem to make much sense!

  • I think every time he says " I like you" it really means "I love you" he's just afraid to say it in fear of your reaction from the looks of it... I had a saimilar experience.

    Everytime my boyfriend held me, he'd whisper "I like you" but all this time, he was waitng for me to say how I felt about him. So when I kept telling him "I love you, for who are" he replied "So, that means you love me?" and when I said I do, he whispered "I love you too" and not "I like you"...

    i think he loves you, he's just afraid..

  • He might not actually be in love with you since he`s not actually said "I love you" even though you`ve been together for a year. But like you said, he`s a shy guy, give him some more time and if he still doesn`t say it, then you should ask him about it. Some people have a hard time expressing their feelings, I know I do when it comes to relationships.