How to apologize to my boyfriend's dad?

[owlxbones]

My boyfriends dad is generally very nice to me. He gives me rides to my boyfriends baseball games, takes me out to eat with them, etc.

He was supposed to give me a ride home last night, but decided he didn't really feel up to it. I had no other way home: he PROMISED to take me home. Once it passed midnight and my mother had started to yell at me, I became desperate. My boyfriend argued with his dad about it for a while, but it was just getting later. I got very upset and ran out of the apartment (slamming the door.. which I feel very guilty about) and started to walk home (despite how long the walk is). He did end up picking me up and taking me home.

He is very, very angry with me though for my behavior. Despite the fact that I'm not entirely at fault, I want to be the better man and apologize to him. I just don't know what to say.

I plan to write an apology letter instead of apologizing to his face. He is angry to the point where he doesn't want me anywhere near him... and the last thing I want to do is upset him more.

[heatherlu]

He probably feels a bit like he's being taken advantage of; like he can't say 'no' - because if he did, how would you get home? you and your boyfriend can't drive, or don't have cars, or whatever - so he HAS to do it, or your stranded. And mostly, he's probably happy to do it - and you just caught him at a bad moment where he was feeling that you're not his responsibility and he shouldn't be in charge of your well being.

Maybe you could make some new arrangements, get your parents to come pick you up at times instead of relying it all to be on him? Even a cab at times?

Personally I think you reacted in a pretty immature way - but there's nothing you can do to change that now, and I can see where your anger and aggravation came from. I think, honestly, he's just looking for you, and your boyfriend, to become a bit less dependent on him - and work things out yourself, even if it means maybe meeting up somewhere half way between your places and making your own way there.

Tell him that you're sorry. That you don't mean to be dependent on him, and you don't want him to feel that he has to do these things for you. Explain you got stressed and upset because you were at a loose end and it was too late to make any other arrangements. And reach out an olive branch, suggesting that in the future you'll look into other arrangements when possible.

I'm sure he'll be understanding - just needs some time to cool down, and a bit of reassurance that you don't take his kindness for granted.

[fascination_streak]

Wow, you're very mature for your age and even more so than his father. Your reaction was justified and I think his father was in the wrong. He said he'd drive you home, you probably had a curfew and he left you in a lurch. That really wasn't fair.

I concur that sometimes someone has to be the 'bigger' person and apologize. I am only concurring in this case because it's your bf's father and you want to keep the peace. I'd write the letter and keep it simple. I'd say you regret your actions, you know it was wrong and you wish to apologize. Let him know that it will not happen again and you hope you both can move past it.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

You need to get a car and learn to drive or your boyfriend needs to get a car and learn to drive so that you guys don't have to burden his dad anymore, he probably doesn't feel like you are his top priority.

[snowboarder720]

oh wow. well, that's hella awesome that he's driving you around and taking you out to eat and such.

To answer your question you should give him a "sorry" card. go to a local grocery store where they have cards and find the one that suits the best. Let him know that it was a rough night, and you had NO other way home. Tell him your sorry for slamming the door, etc.

Dont think of this as a bad moment. I've gotten along with ALL of my gf's parents, and I found out its nice to have these moments because then you'll know how to solve them and they'll understand what kind of a person you really are. They should understand that you were having a bad night and thank them for everything they have done for you. If you play it off right, they'll love you even MORE.

trust me. let me know how it goes.

[dreddi]

Leave him. Neither him or his father are people you should want to be around.

[Anonymous]

yes you should appologize to him in person id be upset if my son/daughter had his/her boyfriend/girlfriend over and needing a ride home and going to my house slamming doors disrespectful! nobody wants to be disrespected in theyre own house..