How much of an age difference is acceptable for a relationship?

so I flirted with a guy 12 years older then me, and we clicked... I don't know were to take it from here because, he's so hot and I don't think he knows how old I really am... so is that really bad?


Most Helpful Guy

  • The older you get the more acceptable it becomes. This isn't a double standard, this is about physiological and psychological maturity of the brain. At 17 you may have all your womanly parts but you are far from a full fledged adult. You are still developing in certain areas of higher order thinking, most importantly logical and rationalized thinking. As easily told by many a college kid, these don't seem to finish until well into the upper 20's if then. :D Also, experiences in your life are significantly different and limited compared to his. Myself, at 17 I knew very little of the world that's out there. Especially sexuality and dangerous manipulative people (not saying this guy is one). Tread carefully, but in any real sense I'd look for someone at your school and less towards someone old enough to be ready to start a family.

    All this being said, my earlier point is and continues that as you age, it is more acceptable. My grandparents were 10 years apart. However, they met after my grandmother finished college (24yo and 34yo). Likewise my girlfriends parents are 13 years apart but met when her mom was 23yo.

    Best of luck.


What Guys Said 8

  • Daddy issues?

    • It hasn't gotten that far...

    • lol he's 29. Girl please use some sense.

  • How do you know his age and he doesn't know yours?

    • he told me but it just ever come up because we kept on talking so I assume he thought I looked older.

  • You're 17? That makes it gross. Very gross. Ugh. That being said, there does come a point when people are all grown up so it won't matter very much. But it's not like you're 25 and he's like 35. You're a kid; he's well into adulthood.

  • Are you 18 or 24?

    • nope. 17

    • Show All
    • why is that?

    • Because you're a baby.

  • I dated someone that was 7 years older. depends on the people involved

  • age is just a number, its how mentally old you are.

  • first off that's illegal. secondly you are a young naive girl, he isn't interested in you he just wants sex from you. trust me I'm a guy I know. I'm sure you think he's mature and you think he thinks your special but you're just easy prey for him. if you actually do it, when you get older and closer to his age you will realize how young and clueless 17 year olds are and you will realize that he took advantage of you. so don't do it.

    • also like people have said already, when you're older it doesn't really make a big difference, but that's like when you're well into adulthood, not now. you're not even legal yet lol. and this guy isn't even like, 20 or 21, he's about to be over the hill.

      notice how all the guys are telling you it's wrong? in this society a guy who is about to be 30 and "dates" underage girls is a loser anyway. you've been warned so don't say you haven't...

What Girls Said 12

  • My boyfriend is 36 and I am 26 and we have been together for 3 1/2 years and have a 1 year old so for us it works. Age is only a number, with the exception that both people are of age meaning both people involved should at least be 18 years and older.

  • So your 17 and he's 29, I don't think its that much of a deal because its how you feel and you can't change the way you feel. But I think you should wait until you turn 18 because your brain will mature more and you will understand the real world. If he's a nice guy and isn't inappropriate with you, then its fine to be with him. Age shouldn't matter and 12yrs apart isn't that bad. But you're still young, I think you shouldn't rush because your future awaits. And most importantly, don't let him force you to do any of that.

    • I agree completely, this is the best answer I've seen so far!

    • haha why thank you!

  • jail


  • I take my age, divide it by two, then add 7.

    If you're 30, then: 30/2 = 15, 15+7= 22, so a 22 and 30 year old is acceptable ;)

    No I'm kidding, but as long as you're over the age of 18 why not! It's your life, just make sure you let him know how old you are. Be safe!

  • No, in the old days people did that all the time (different time but still). As long as you aren't under age.

  • As long as you are both two consenting adults and have things in common, age doesn't matter.

  • i would say to wait until your at least legal & to think it over a bit. I can't be hypocritical at the moment I'm 19 talking to a 28 year old. Because of the age difference I'm much more wary of him, and I don't take everything he says for face value. Its difficult for us to be together because for 1) he's always working 2) in the day time he watches his niece and nephew and he works night shift.

    If you really like this guy one way to tell how much you like him is this one question " would I be okay with him meeting my parents" " how would my parents react to this man dating their 17 year old daughter". though it sounds like a " lame " question your still a minor and most 17 year olds are still living with their parents.

    Proceed with caution, he's been more places and done more things than you can ever fathom. Protected your heart, don't be easy when it comes to him, make him work for it.

    Good luck with your endeavors of the heart.

    Also don't mistake my rant above as me saying don't trust him, just be logical with him, if you gather something doesn't seem right, follow your intuition.

  • I think love is not defined by age. My ex and I were 6 years age difference, but I personally wouldn't go further than that. But hey, to each their own :)

  • I believe that age differences matter less as you get older. I am 31 and I'm having relations with someone who is 41. it makes no difference to either of us.

    If he doesn't know your age, maybe you should tell him, then judge his reaction, and go from there.

  • that's way too much

  • You know what, I have a Boyfriend who is 25, I am 16. We have been together for 4 months.

    It's not that bad in your case. My case is a bit weirder, He does know my age, but my family don't know we're together,

    (My dad would get Angry as hell!) and no we haven't had sex. Yet.

  • Well when I was 23 I talked to a 33 year old who really liked me. I mean, if you are of legal age and so is he then why not? There's always Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore who has a huge age gap, or look at Catherine Zeta Jones who was married to Micheal Douglas, huge age gap and I'm sure soceity is OK with it. As long as you are both of legal age and both really know and love each other there shouldn't be any big reasons why it can't happen.

    Only bad thing that could happen is if you are like 12 and he is like 25 then if he has sex with you, I think in certain states... you know you and him could get in trouble and with your parents etc.