What really attracts men in their 40s to women in their 20s?

Okay, so I'm 22 and I've had the biggest crush on a guy at work who is 20 years older than I am but honestly I don't have a lot of experience with dating but I act mature for 22, if that matters. Another thing besides not being very relationship experienced is I am pretty self conscious and for some reason when I'm around him or if I'll need to talk about something work related or even joking around I get so nervous and scared, like I feel l put him on a pedestal if that makes sense. Anyway, I'm not interested in guys my age because they're too immature it seems. Seriously guys, what key things are you looking for or is it just some young ass type of thing?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's been bred into us after generations of arranged marriages and marriages of opportunity where an established man would marry a young, fertile woman. It was ideal during harder times. Basically, it's instinctive. Older men make more suitable husbands because they can provide and have more political clout, which is more important than sperm of somewhat higher quality. Younger women are more desirable because they are much more physically capable of handling pregnancy and taking care of children.

    Now that the developed world is a safer place and everyone can provide some form of living, marriages are able to survive on love, and the age gap can be much more narrow, or even reversed without any real drawbacks. Despite this, the arrangement mentioned above still has its virtues and the instinct is still present. It affects people who don't even care about long term relationships or bearing children.

    The stuff you learn in a Human Sexuality course.


Have an opinion?


Send It!

What Guys Said 2

  • I'm surprised guys in their 40s would want to be with a girl who is 22 because I would have thought they wanted a more mature women. But I guess I thought 22 year olds were attractive when I was 14 and still do when I am 21, so I guess I would still find them attractive when I got older.

  • Mostly a young ass type of thing.

    The reason why a number of guys in their late 30's/early-to-mid 40's run off with women who are 20 years their junior is that they are having mid life crises. At that age, you look back on your life, and often try to do those things that you've always wanted to do, or change whatever is unsatisfying, which sometimes means having an affair or eloping with a woman 15-20 years their junior.

    Thing is, it rarely lasts. Even the most mature 20-something is still vastly lacking in experience as compared to a 40 year old. Older guys don't usually find the 20-something girl's personality interesting, just her body, and as soon as the sex gets old, they move on. Sometimes to another 20 year old, sometimes just going back to women closer to their age.


What Girls Said 1

  • Hello I think I can better help you than the previous answers. I am soon to be 20 and with a 43yr old man. I think men in thier 40's that like younger women are looking for something that many older women don't have. They like a girl that's bubbly, energetic, funny, full of life, ambitious, very loving, very caring, smart, and just overall fun. Many women around their age seem kinda zapped out of life because for many years they've had to work hard, raise kids, and so on and so forth, so by the end of the day they don't really "feel" like doing stuff. Men in thier 40's are like women in thier 40's, that's why some of them seek out younger women to bring some kind of excitement to thier life. Now with all that being said, keep in mind that sometimes it's just all about sex when it comes to older men, and sometimes all about money when it comes to young women which never last long. However, there are men in their 40's that are with women in their 20's and they both love one another.