What does it mean when a guy says he's not ready for a relationship right now? He said he cares for me, doesn't want to hurt me and thinks we should...
What does it mean when a guy says he's not ready for a relationship right now? He said he cares for me, doesn't want to hurt me and thinks we should stop having sex for now. He wants to keep dating me and isn't seeing anyone else. What gives? Should I stick around?
Thank you all for your answers. I've decided that if a man doesn't know what he wants then he should go figure it out on his own. I'm constantly being hit on by men. If he wants to risk losing me, then he doesn't see my worth. I'll still be his friend because I genuinely like him. That being said, I'm not going to be a push over waiting for him to be "ready".
I told him he should go date other people. When he sees what's out there, I guarantee he'll be back. Will I be waiting? Nope
To clarify my update... I will continue being his friend because, I really like him but, this is something he needs to work out on his own. I need to worry about myself too. I don't want to be hurt. This could be his way of letting me down but, who knows. I can't wait around just to end up being disappointed. I have to keep my options open just in case.
I ran into a guy I went on a few dates with on my way to work. We're going out tonight. I really need a distraction. I'm going to have to keep myself really busy so, I can stop over thinking this.
Well, I think it's definitely over. I haven't heard from him since the last email. The first one got an instant reply and the next one... NOTHING! I know he's seen it by now because, he's been online. This really freaking sucks but, I guess it's better now than later?!?!?! I better go get ready for my date. I wish I was going with him. **sigh**
Well, we talked a couple times since my last post. I've also been on 3 dates (dif. guys) since then. This is the first weekend we didn't spend together since we met. My phone died on him last convo. He tried to call back but, I fell asleep. Called him back few hrs later, no answer no call back either (that was Sunday). After dating these other ppl, the more I realize I miss him. What to do now? :(
Same thing happened to me but I fought for him, let me tell you it was a waste of time, your decision to let it go and move on is the best one from my experience I got my heart broken in the end, I wish I would have moved on while I had the chance. Do you, like you said if he can't appreciate you, someone better and more deserving will. He will realize what he lost in time.
lol Sounds like you're realizing that you're really after this guy. I know how you feel, 'cause it happened to me. you can't go back to him unless you know you're going to wait for him, otherwise It'll keep happening with you leaving then coming back.
It's up to you to figure out. We're just here to give our opinions. =)
Honestly? I feel like he's a good guy and you should keep dating him to the extent he's comfortable with. If he truly loves you he'll come around and figure it out. =)
He means what he's saying. honestly.. I broke up with an amazing girl because I realized I couldn't care for her as best as she deserved and as I required. She's happier now, and I would have like to be able to stay with her, but the truth is, I knew I wasn't ready for a relationship. We're still friends, except her new boyfriend is a total B1+(# to me and threatens me if I talk to her, but whatev.. lol
He's being honest I'd assume. so trust him, and just wait. =)
If you really like him then you should be there for him. He wants to date you but not have sex, he is not breaking up with u. The other guys that are hitting on you just want to get in your pants maybe 10% of them want to date u
How long have you guys been seeing each other? Maybe he is afraid that you guys are progressing too quickly to marriage, and he is not ready for it... he might want to get a better job first or be more financially secure.
I can't really answer your question, but if it helps I'm in a similar situation - just switch the roles! I have tried telling this girl I've been seeing I need to move on because she just can't give me what I want and that we should have no contact. I said this to her about 2 months ago and yet, still she keeps initiating contact. I feel like I'm her emotional punch bag. It's a sh*t situation to be in, because you have absolutely no closure. If I liked a girl, I would be with her regardless... I'm afraid that we both need to do the same thing...(as hard as it is for me to type this) move on.
What this means is this guy likes you but he does not love you and he is feeling guilty enough about it to want to stop having sex. It could also be his way of slowly ending whatever you two have going on.
I see that you mention he has financial problems and obviously stress from that. In my experience, when a guy feels a lot for a woman, even financial problems are not enough to keep him from wanting a relationship. In fact, he will look to the relationship to be his refuge from what is causing him stress. My fiance had and still has some very difficult financial issues as well as child custody and child support matters. Regardless he pursued me like crazy and continues to want to be with me even when he feels amazingly down and stressed at times. I am the thing that keeps him positive, that gives him motivation to keep dealing with all the stress.
So, it is up to you to just wait it out and see what happens. I have personally not seen something like this turn into a passionate love, but you do not sound ready to throw in the towel, so why not wait it out?
The nice thing about some guys is that they tend to mean what they are saying.
This one is not ready for a relationship with you right now. He may care, but he's not ready for "forever" -- so instead of playing around for a few months then dumping you he is good enough to tell you up front that you two should abstain from sex, which will only make things more complicated down the road.
NO, you should not stick around. He says he does not want a relationship with you... At least he knows enough to be honest about it.
Kudos to you for putting YOU first! We all have a tendency to forget about what we want/need because we're busy trying to please the one we're with. That's when we really need to ask ourselves: Well what if he never changes? Then all the time spent waiting has been time you can never get back. Good for you!
Let go of him. Generally this means he doesn't want a relationship with YOU. I know it's really, really hard to ignore the things he is saying and just walk away but you need to. It's better for him and you. There probably isn't anything wrong with being his friend, as long as you can do it detached from him.
I am a little confused that he wants to date you but not have sex. That's kind of odd. I would just be friends. Try to make when you hang out as little like a date as possible and slowly pull away from this gentleman and find someone who won't make you ask these questions. :) Good luck!
This prob comes out harsh but he's not in to you. It's an excuse for him to try and not hurt your feelings. You're too good for that so move on and put your energy into someone who really is ready and is into you.
I am going through something similiar, so I can't wait to see how people answer this question. I do wonder if the guy you are talking about was recently in a relationship that went bad? It's frustrating when you are ready to take the relationship to the next level, and he's not ready or doesn't want to. Good luck.
Now, I'm assuming that the guy might be telling the truth. But, you shouldn't wait for him, like what a lot of people are saying. Don't wait for him, because you're only going to miss out on a lot of other hot guys out there. You're head is in the right place, it seems. Try to keep it there. IF the guy starts coming back... just let the chips fall where they may. See what happens, but don't hold yourself short when it comes being happy with a different guy.
I'm curious as to what happened. I'm in a similar situation. I broke things off with the guy I was seeing because he said he wasn't ready to be in a relationship. It's been a week of no contact. I know I won't call him or text him first, because I'm really stubborn. lol
He has problems and he doesn't want to hurt you by getting too attaached to him. He wants to solve that problems first so he can be a better person first before getting involved too deep with you. In my opinion, he is a very decent and honest man. Don't lose him, just give him time :)
It means he's not into you and this is his nice of way of saying that. he's putting the fault onto himself and not you to spare you the embarrassment. I don't think you should stick around because I feel like it's just pity dates now and not real dates