Why do you ask people in general about particular peoples experience.
tis question is in search of stereotypes, prejudice, bias, & bigotry., & you look like yo are trying to feel superior.
If you REALLY wanted to know, why a person does something- since most people have very different personalities & very different experiences from each other. You would ask directly. Right now, you will elicit a lot bs from people who judge other people, & probably will deter anyone who is actually experiencing what you are talking about to come forward.
would never be in a relationship where mutual respect, was not the MOST important component. but f I was in something negative, I would not answer you, because you do not sound genuine, the answers you are getting from spectators are obnoxious.
btw, a healthy person, who believes they have 'fallen in love' & invested a lot of time & money into something , would be even more likely DEMAND proper treatment- or they would walk. they would have even LESS incentive to stay, if hey invested so much- not more. IF they were healthy.
In addition, you did not define what you mean by 'dont treat them well'. Everyone has a different idea of what is proper treatment. How can you ask a question to people general , without defining what you are referring to?
Generally it is because the jerks start out acting like prince charming and then suck the unsuspecting girl in with their charm, they build her up just to bring her down. As the relationship progresses he builds her up less and brings her down more. This goes on for a while until she has no sense of self left and she doesn't trust herself or any decisions she can make. He will usually try to keep the girl away from friends and family as much as possible becaue he doesn't want her to have any outside influence telling her she deserves better. These guys are very good at this. Unfortunately, these girls don't think they deserve better by the time she realizes he is an a**hole.
learned helplessness. link depression in combination with the idea that they have no control over the situation results in women staying in psychologically harmful relationships.
Drama is excitement to many women out there. It keeps a relationship going. Many men have realized that if a relationship gets stale and boring then the woman is going to leave. This is why nice guys finish last and become jerks. Nice guys are "boring", "predictable" and the relationship becomes routine. Women KNOW where the men are that will treat them right, but those men are no challenge to them.
There are many men out there that do many things (or everything) right and still get left behind and get told excuses. When women get older, they realize that they have had their "fun" and then they want to usual "boring" life. The catch to that is by that time men figure that treating a woman good will get them dumped and left behind. It is what it is, and it starts with the girls. It rarely has to do with loving the person they are with, they just love the drama.
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0Opinion
Ok so I’m this situation at the moment.
I know that it is not healthy and not good for me to stay but find it to difficult to leave even though I know in my head I need to leave and the reasons why.
I have tried time and time again to leave this guy I have been with for nine years but it’s hard.
He thinks he is always right and it’s either his way or the highway. He can not see my opinion on any thing and when I get upset or emotional because he has hurt my feelings he turns it back on me and says I need to say sorry. He has lied to me about things and can’t admit to the problems even with evidence.
I stay because I have become dependent on him. I make excuses and think:
He has made me feel that if I just act in a certain way than everything will be ok.
He has some good qualities like he can be thoughtful, he is smart, he does financially look after me, he does other things for me like help with cooking.
I make excuses and say things will get better with time when I know the truth that things will never change because I know the exact issues we have and they can’t be fixed because he only blames me and that I need to change.
I feel like I am completely doomed and I need urgent help because I see my future and I am so scared of what will happen to me and my health by staying. At the same time I am so scared to leave him because I will miss him and we have had some good times together. So I really just think people stay because they get scared and dependent on that person.
I just can't leave my boyfriend. I know he's abusing me and treating me in a horrible way. I know it's not good. It has already damaged me a lot. But I just can't let go. I love him. Everytime I think about leaving himn I ask myself do you love him? Do you care about him? And the answer is always YES and YES! I cannot imagine my life without him and I don't think I'll ever be able to move on if we part... I just keep hoping for the best...
Lots of reasons. I've personally known girls to do this because they believed he'd change, saying he was going through a tough time and didn't want to "walk out on her man". Yet a man abusing his girl has already, in a sense, walked out on her.
Sometimes they aren't aware that they do deserve or can do better. Other times they stay because it's all they know.
The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!
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