My boyfriend hits his dog

[Anonymous]

well it's his dog, but still. when I first met him I knew he had anger problems, even though you'd never be able to tell by just looking at him. he's normal and plays sports and has friends and whatever and he's usually fine and calm. I wouldn't say he has a short temper but when he does get mad its really bad. he'll punch doors or yell or just leave. and whenever his dog misbehaves he will kick him or grab his collar and kinda shove him across the room or spray water at him and yell. he told me about how his dad would beat on his mom when he was little and now he hates his dad so I understand where he gets this violentness from.

unfortunately it doesn't end there. the other day I was out in his grandma's back yard (he lives with his grandmother) and I was in this area were they keep the compost. I don't remember what I was back there for but I notice this weird hump in the dirt behind the compost pile and it smelled really bad. so I kinda kicked the dirt around and the was a dead cat. it looked like the throat was cut and there was a lot of dried blood. when I brought it up to him he acted really weird about it and asked me " what do I think happened?" I wanted to say well I think you killed it. but insead I just said I wasn't sure. and he kinda shruged and said I have no idea.

i can't say that he did do it but I do think he did. from what I know this is not a good sign. but like I said I still don't know. should I just leave him alone and let him deal with it or suggest conseling ? any advice? I'm just a little worried about him. and don't suggest I leave him because I do love him and one of the reasons I wanted to be with him was because I saw his problems and I want to be there for him and help..

[ShootingStar5]

"and don't suggest I leave him because I do love him and one of the reasons I wanted to be with him was because I saw his problems and I want to be there for him and help.."

Ahhh the common problem that gets women to marry jerks and allow themselves to be abused because they're more concerned about fixing someone than their own safety. Don't be stupid here, please.

This guy's behavior is unacceptable. People who grow up in abusive families usually grow up to be abusive themselves, and that's obviously the case here. His anger problems are out of control. It doesn't matter whether or not you understand why he's doing it, it's still wrong. He's abusive to his dog and it's only a matter of time before he transfers some of his anger to you. Beyond abusive, he's sadistic. He most likely slit a cat's throat, that's not even anger, that's just sick!

You should suggest counseling, but I doubt he'll go. If he does go and actually works through his problems then there may be hope for you guys. But if he won't go to counseling (or if he does and doesn't make progress) you really should end things and stay far away from him before you end up like the poor cat. Guys like this are very rarely ever able to be fixed. And the ones who do change, do it because they want to be better themselves, not because their girlfriend wants to fix them.

[tohrment]

Well said.

[ShootingStar5]

thanks :)

[Darkfairie17]

He is abusing his dog and most likely killed a cat. How much more animal abuse has to happen before you do something about this. That is unacceptable. The dog should be removed from his house. If he has anger issues, he needs help. Suggest counselling and if he refuses I would personally call the cops or animal rights people to have all of his animals removed. If he hits them, I would also be afraid for yourself. Who knows how much he would blow up at you one day. This is not someone you can just magically rescue one day. He needs intense therapy from a professional. The best thing to do to help him is to get him help. You can't just sit down and discuss this all with him and hope it will go away. It won't, as long as he has not been helped professionally for his issues he will only continue to get worse.

Do not leave him alone and let him deal with it, because you will only continue to see this behavior get worse. You can't rescue this person yourself, he needs professional help. That is the only way he will get better. I would be seriously concerned that he is killing animals :S People can escalate to killing humans and I'm being absolutely serious about that. He needs help!

[brkadv]

You should be extremely careful about this. What you are saying sounds like pure codependence. You have a violent person who abuses his dog and may be killing other animals viciously (we don't know that, but we know for sure according to you that he abuses his dog). And your concern is for whom? Not for protecting the dog and calling the cops on him for animal abuse. Not for the other animals around. Not for YOURSELF who may be in danger if he is violent. The only thing you can think of is wanting to help HIM.

I would suggest your priorities may be blinded by your attachment to him. Not love, necessarily. But a rescuing complex. And usually when people have a rescuing complex it is because they are the ones that actually need and want to be rescued. But instead they turn it onto someone else.

I would first of all make sure that you are safe and that you do this in a safe way. Then I would let him know that yes he does need counseling. But you might actually want to get a counselor first to help you remain safe and figure out exactly how best to react here. Take care of yourself and don't get lost in your desires to rescue him. Those can lead you astray very easily.

[Anonymous]

Animal abuse is not from having a bad temper. I get sick of people making excuses for these demented fuks. People who do sick crap like that to helpless animals are the worst type of coward walking this planet besides child molesters, woman beaters & rapists. I don't know, maybe he felt like a real man when he slit the throat of a 5 pound cat. It was probably just a kitten tho cause a full grown cat would put up too much of a fight for the demented POS you seem to love. Yes he did it & it probably wasn't the 1st time either. Who else could have, The old lady 3 blocks over.



And have a nice life. if & when you have kids with this bitch remember "NO PETS". But then again with no pets to beat kids are the only thing left. I wouldn't have those either!

That leaves YOU!

[Yamomsbasement]

Eh you don’t know not tryna defend this weirdo at all but a moderately strong man can easily take down a full grown cat. Not saying you’re wrong on him being a sick mf but still not realistic

[elite]

You need to get him help like counseling. If not his violence could escalate and he could end up taking his anger out on you