I was jealous. She wants space, I think

I'm spending a lot of time with a girl at work. We've developed feelings for each other. At at recent staff Christmas party I got really drunk and kinda made a jealous scene because I felt she was spending too much time talking to other guys. I ended up leaving the party wthout her.

The next day I sent an email telling her that I was out of line and acted like a smitten idiot. She said no big deal, adding that she's mad but will get over it. When I said I'd call later than night she responded by saying ''I'll call you.' So I said 'ok I'll give you space." An hour later she send me another email asking for some work advice, which a gave no issues there. What should I take from the mixed messages? Should I continue to pull away or is the email a signal that everything is fine?

Should I wait for her to call or make the next move?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't get to heavy, to me it sounds liek you are already. firstly she may be alarmed by your jealousy as girls like to have male friends too. let her call, don't pressure or she will run for the hills, if she doesn't call in say a week, then give her a friendly call with no pressure. Also keep your work as work and what's outside separate, she will appreciate that.

    • The work thing is a big deal for her. She didn`t want the word to get out. I think that my stupid display may have a few people at work asking questions. We`were really connecting. I just don`t get how one incident devalues all that. I`ve beaten myself up with guilt for two days over this. I am letting go and moving on. Anyone who isn`t willing to forgive isn`t worth my time.

    • Show All
    • Happy to say everything seems to be getting back to normal. There still seems to be a lot of fear about the fact that we work together on her part. Thanks all for talking me off the ledge. Your cooler heads probably saved me from saying something stupid.

    • You are welcome, but give yourself some credit for reaching out to get the help... it shows you are more level headed than you know :)


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What Girls Said 2

  • advice: don't get drunk at the co. party : )

    don't underestimate the power of one incident. it can be a defining moment, the end of a budding relationship or the beginning of a life long one.

  • if you did act a fool baby ! let it be she is mad just give her the space wait for her call SHE WILL call when she gets over it. it will be ok baby just let it be for right now.


What Guys Said 2

  • Wait for her to call. If you told her you would call, then she says I'll call, and you respond I'll give you some space, give her the space. Girls need time to chill out, and when she's ready she will call. If she doesn't, then call her the next day. Just don't be to pushy and seem needy or controlling, else you might freak her out. You apologized and offered some space and time, which I'd say is the right thing. Just ride it out for a little while. Hope that helps.

  • sending an apology email was a good move. yes, wait for her to make the next move. respons to the work-related mail -- don't put too much effort but don't slack off either. I would give her space, but be polite if you see her. maybe give her 2-3 days, but you need to take one day at a time. you'll probably also wanting to be with her, which is normal, and hoping she' forgiven you. don't try to 'fix' anything. you've apologised, you've given her space, and hopefully soon you guys can get back into the swing of things. good luck