He says "I'm too busy for a relationship right now." That actually means...?

[Anonymous]

Ok, I've been talking to this guy since like May. We've admitted that we're both really attracted to each other and wouldn't mind hooking up or something. But even before we admitted our attraction to each other and we were "just friends", I'd overheard him saying to this guy at work (we used to work together) that he didn't want to be in a serious relationship right now because he had too much going on with his business and soccer (he's trying to go professional.)

So I talked to him about it and let him know that there was no pressure or anything, but I wanted to know where he stood. And he told me the same thing - that if he had a girfriend he'd feel kind of bad because he honestly wouldn't have a lot of time for her, and I told him I understood. I'm not actively looking for a relationship either, but I guess if I found someone I wouldn't be totally against it.

So I've heard that when guys say "I'm too busy for a relationship" or "I'm not ready for a relationship", that that actually means they don't want a relationship with YOU in particular. That seems like it COULD be likely, but a little ridiculous for it to mean that with all guys. I mean, girls get too busy to be in relationships and he seems sincere and the type of person who wouldn't beat around the bush. I've always felt like he likes me (long story), but is kind of keeping me at arms length because he doesn't want to get into anything too serious, and if we start hanging out all the time we might have to but a "label" on us or something. Is he really just telling me that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with ME, but would get into a relationship with someone else? Why not just come straight out and tell me the truth? He says what he feels and is really bold with just about everything else.

What do you think (especially what do you GUYS think)? How can I get him to hang out with me more without thinking I'm trying to date him? I really like him as a person and we had a lot of fun together at work. He's the only person I know who listens to all the random bands I listen to and is as into soccer as I am, so I like being around him. But I'm NOT trying to date him - even if he were ready to be in a relationship, I'm not sure he would be the best boyfriend anyway. He's ALWAYS busy and kind of flakey, so I don't know if I'd "date" him anyway.

[UltraDramatic]

First of all, if you try too hard, he will pull away if he's really not interested in you. If you keep calling him, texting him, initiating contact with him, and you're doing it every day or every other day, and it appears he has no problem with that, then you're in luck -- he does like you, as a friend at the VERY least.

Secondly, with some guys, this IS an excuse. With others, it IS a legitimate reason. I know a lot of guys that are so indecisive about relationships that they think everything HAS to be in place for them to be open to the idea of dating or marriage. In many cases, it's because they already have a woman in mind, but they think that woman won't be okay with their choice of career and the residual effect on their relationship it can have. If a woman wants to be a stay-at-home mom but falls in love with an artist, musician or actor who can barely support himself, let alone a whole family, then maybe he isn't the best man for her to invest in.

And then there are some guys that use that line because they don't want to feel "tied down" to just one woman. Instead, they want to date around, date several people, play the field, as it were. In a case like this, the guy's feeding you a line of crap.

In the long run, the only one that can tell you whether or not something can happen long term is him. If he knows that you don't want to date him right now, and he's still okay with hanging out with you on occasion, then you're probably in good standing with each other, and he probably is willing to see what could happen in the future.

Hope this helps give you some insight.

[JustMe2008]

You are totally correct dude. Nothing more to add.

[jeremypruitt1980]

Then just straight out tell him that u don't look at him like that and you just wanna be. friends with him

[Anonymous]

i think you like him and he does too but if he isn't ready for a relation dnt push it I think its best for you to stay friends dnt think of it too much if you find someone else and he doesn't do anything about it then he doesn't deserve you but if you both stay available and life takes you to be together then that's great so dnt think about it treat him like a friend dnt tell him about other boys you know so that he doesn't go away

[Atomizer]

It means "I'm not ready for a relationship with you."