When a guy says he loves me but wants to be single for a while...?

[Anonymous]

When a guy who says he loves me breaks up and says, "I don't want to be in a relationship right now...with anyone. It has nothing to do with you. I just want to be single for a while and figure things out. I want our friendship still." Is that legit, or does he just not want to be with me...and doesn't want to hurt me?

[AltTech]

Well, he might actually be genuine and want to work on himself, yet keep your friendship until he feels he can deliver in a relationship.

There is also a chance he is using that as an excuse to break up. But in the latter case, I'm not sure why he would want to remain friends, unless he was thinking friends w/benefits.

[Asker]

I really hope your first suggestion is correct. He tells me that he's just not happy right now and wants to work on some things. He also says that he doesn't want to hurt or disappoint me. He said that it's not fair to drag someone else along when he doesn't know what he wants. Sound legit?

As far as FWB, sex was never involved just lots of making out. He does still hit on me some when I see him or talk to him, but I don't think that's his deal. He avoids all of his past exes like the plague.

[AltTech]

Hmmm, he might really be genuine about working on himself then. Keep being a good friend to him, and don't put moves on him. When he's ready, he'll come around. :)

[sixstring]

It might be an excuse to try not to hurt you, but there's a good chance he's telling the truth.

[Asker]

Hmm...so if it is the truth, what does that mean exactly? Do guys ever come back after saying something like that?

[sixstring]

Then it means exactly what he said. He doesn't want to be in a committed relationship right now. He might have come out of a bad one. But when he's ready you will probably be first to hear.

[Asker]

He came out of a bunch of bad relationships. Ours was the only healthy, legit relationship he's ever been in. He tells me that he's just not happy right now and wants to work on some things. He also says that he doesn't want to hurt or disappoint me. He said that it's not fair to drag someone else along when he doesn't know what he wants. He avoids all of his past exes like the plague, but he still says he wants to be friends with me.