Have you heard the phrase "Women can fake an orgasm but men can fake a whole relationship?"

[good-looking-geek]

If you are unfortunate enough to experience the truth behind the above statement tell me your story. Why did you not notice earlier that your ex was pretty much faking the relationship the whole time? How did you end up with a man like that in the first place? How long were you in this fake relationship? Do you blame yourself for not ending such a non-relationship sooner? Do you hate all men because you met one who is really rotten as a result?

What happened to you after the non-relationship ended? How do you feel now?

Updates

+1 y

Faking a relationship means he will not commit. He says "I love you" only to get the girl to come back to him, then he will cheat on her the next day. He manipulates the girl to believe that the relationship is genuine and exclusive.

[Kickrockslosers]

Ha Ha Ha! This is great! Yep, guys fake relationships for intimacy and sex, but they know they have no intention of settling down with the girl they are with. I love it and totally understand it, because I can be a serial monogomist too!

I dated this guy for almost a year, introduced him to my family, hung out with my friends and co-workers. But then he wanted to move forward with the relationship and I didn't. Now when I was in the 'fake relationship' I just wasn't sure about him as a husband or the father of my children. As a woman, when I think about family, I think about what our kids will be like. I didn't want stupid, broke kids; I KNOW IT SOUNDS SHALLOW AND CRASS but so what? My life LOL! We all have choices to make. The whole time I was concerned about his lack of ambition.

I like guys with ambition. He wasn't ambitious enough for me. I knew better than to try to change a person, which almost never works. So I just continued dating him to see if he would do anything fantastic. He never did. I think he was blinded by me and my beauty, ambition, success. My co-workers rated the guys that I was dating, they thought I would have the most fun with him in a 'public transportation way' LOL. But knew I would eventually get tired of it and want more. They were right. I'm just used to a certain standard of living and he was satisfied with what he had.

But I did hang in there for 10 months. In the end it was terrible, he wanted to commit suicide because he thought it was his fault. I told him it wasn't, because it wasn't his fault. He hated me for a while, hated women for a while. Then I called him about a year later, by accident and had to say something and we talked. We became friends again, he changed everything, got a car, moved from where he was, applied for a promotion and got it and started catering (he was a really good cook) for a Pro-Team. I was happy for him because I always saw his potential and he didn't until we broke up. Even after all of that he wanted to start up with me again. Still no way in hell! LOL. He gave me bad boyfriend advice because he was still 'salty' LOL only then, I realized that he just wanted to see me hurt as much as he was hurt. Didn't happen! LOL but hopefully he can attract the type of woman that he wants. You know someone who will be happy with him however he is.

From you description, I didn't say that I loved him (that's a no no unless you mean it) and I didn't want him back, and I didn't cheat on him and never had sex with anyone the entire time we were 'faking it'. And didn't do anything to manipulate him. We did have an exclusive relationship, cause I wanted to see what he could do during the 10 months we were together.

[cheerangelcharity]

well you can read my whole story here: link

basically I had met the guy almost 2 months ago and he apparently just wanted to "hook up" [make out] and be friends with me and initially that's what I thought I just wanted too. but then a few weeks later I started acting more like a girlfriend by coming over pretty much whenever I wanted to [with his permission at least] and holding hands with him whenever we would go out. I thought that he was fine with that and that we were on our way to having a relationship but that [including coming over 3 times within 5 days and twice being with him like 7 hours at a time] made him stop being affectionate towards me. I asked him what was wrong and he first was like "nothing" but then he said "you wouldn't understand" and then finally "I just need some space." I asked him if he has a fear of commitment and if he's giving me the "let's just be friends speech" and he was like ya. That last one broke me so much that I almost started crying and when he saw that he gave me a hug and kept saying "it's okay, it's okay." Well while continuing watching TV he still held hands with me and cuddled with me but when I tried to kiss him he kept saying "I can't, I can't." I did steal a kiss from him when we left but the next week we hanged out at the end when we hugged I tried to kiss him he again said that he "can't." He did write to me that because of his past relationships he doesn't want another one and that it's all him at least. We haven't hanged out since then [it was a week ago] but I might come over for a little bit this Friday because his house is near a show I'm going to and I'm trying to still be friends with him.

Well for the week in-between our last 2 hang-outs I got really depressed over him and everything and for about the next 2 days after our last hang out I was depressed and crying over him again but then I quickly got over him, decided that there are much better guys out there for me and he's basically a loser and very different from me anyways, decided to go back to my Christian faith and devotions [he's agnostic which helped not care about my faith], but still decided that I can be friends with him, nothing more, nothing less.

sorry it was long but hey.

[good-looking-geek]

That guy is a loser. He is not attached to you, and he certainly is not interested in a real relationship, and he is not interested in emotional attachment. You need to find a guy who will treasure you and who will not hesitate to be in a genuine relationship. A guy would most likely keep his distance because he has no love and he has more than one woman on the side.

[cheerangelcharity]

Haha thanks! I can't imagine him easily finding another girl who'll like him like I did though, but if he could he would and treat her the same. I've learned from him and some other guys that a guy may be very attracted to me and react on that but that doesn't necessarily mean that they want any sort of a relationship. That's why I've now given myself the no-making out until I'm in a relationship rule and I'm trying to keep my heart guarded more.

[cheerangelcharity]

Oh and I forgot to answer all of your questions so I will now: 1) I really don't know, maybe because I've grown up in an environment where relationships were more common than just "hooking up" and I assumed since he was willing to make out with me any time we had privacy and we showed some PDA and we also talked a lot to each other that he was willing to have a relationship with me 2) again, I'm not exactly sure; he started the kissing and I thought he was kinda cute so I was like why not?

[cheerangelcharity]

3) I kinda already gave a timeline for all this but I'll state that it was only a little over a month until he started becoming less affectionate and seemed uncaring 4) yes; I even got a bad feeling about us constantly making out 1-2 weeks before we started to end but I ignored that and just thought that it was just because I wasn't feel well from the flu; I also was tired of having "flings" which is why I didn't want to end things 5) no way; I know plenty of guys who don't seem to be like this.

[melsmala]

HAAAA! Oh I'm sorry but that statement makes me laugh every time I hear it no matter how shockinly true it is... well I think most women don't realize that their guy is fakin the relationship because they like the guy soo much that in their eyes the way the guy is acting is normal. To them this is how their guy is no matter what people on the outside realize about the situation. And some girls just get attached to the guys they like, they become so attached that they believe they are in a relationship when the guy is playin a whole nother game. It has never happened to me but I have seen it in progress and it usually dosn't end very nicely.

[BarefootInTheHead]

Okay, if a guy will not commit at the same level the girl wants, I think that qualifies as " we weren't a good match" or possibly "i expected to change him, but the plan didn't work and so I'll accuse them of 'faking it' to justify my manipulation". I don't think commitment issues are "faking it" if both people are clear about what they want. because as I see it, if it's obvious that people want different things in a relationship, but one of the partners hangs in there waiting for a change, that partner's foolish/unrealistic, and it's unfair to accuse the other of "faking it."

if a partner's cheating and lying, that's obviously "faking it". And if that's the case, women can "fake a relationship" too. just ask this woman I dated last year!

[BarefootInTheHead]

define "faking the relationship"

i wonder if "faking the relationship" might more accurately mean:

"i expected to change him, but the plan didn't work and so I'll accuse them of 'faking it' to justify my manipulation"

or

"i grew a backbone and dumped a jerk who expected me to be a doormat"

or

"it started as friends-with-benefits, but I always wanted to get more serious and felt hurt that he didn't want the same"

or more simply:

" we weren't a good match"

[good-looking-geek]

So I am basically talking to the girls who would relate to your statement: "I grew a backbone and dumped a jerk who expected me to be a doormat." I am not talking to girls who wanted to change their men or who were FWB. I am politely asking girls "How did you allow yourself to be manipulated?"

[BarefootInTheHead]

I'm obviously not a girl, but I've allowed myself to be manipulated in different cases because 1) I was naive and didn't know any different; 2) Believed her words rather than her deeds; 3) She seemed too innocent to lie/manipulate (boy was I wrong)

[good-looking-geek]

Well in your case, even though the girl seemed innocent, was she worth dating? Did she give you any good memories? Your words make it sound like she was an innocent girl who wanted to be naughty? Or am I way off?

[BarefootInTheHead]

By "innocent" I meant that I never thought she'd lie to me or cheat on me. I think I _wanted_ to believe and overlooked a few hints. I fooled myself, and I let her fool me, too.

and there were more bad memories than good memories from her, by far.

[alpinestars-2002795]

^ Dito been in his case too, I personally think women "FAKE" realationships more then men really. When a guy wants a realationship at least myself, it's pretty simple blunt and bold ya know? Kinda hard to fake really? Although I guess it "COULD" be done yes. Although Women do this constently to not "Hurt" our feelings as men, when in reality that's all they are doing. Was with a girl just like the guy above got married etc. It was good for awhile then it became ugly like he said. Not wrth it

[alpinestars-2002795]

So your not alone question answerer don't feel "LEFT OUT" of the $hit on by women feeling and a bit bitter with them because of it at times. SO to the question asker YES it has changed my view of all women, and I personally kinda have this inner hate towards them at times. Because of how one treated me yes. Like I said this were ok in the begining then it was like she became a totally dif person, or actualy acted like herself, then in the end we got divorced etc. So twrds the end a lot of bad.

[4u2nv]

I think that a man I am talking to might be faking our relationship just so that he can take my virginity.

I can sort of tell he is faking, but I am still with him and just playing his game and wasting his time. . . . plus he thinks he is still going to get in my pants.

I ended up with him because our first date was so romantic and he gave me butterflies and made me feel so good. We've been in this fake relationship for 2 months, but we've been talking for about 4-5 months. He is not tech. my bf, he says tht I cannot talk to other guys though and he cannot see other girls. I think it is because he is a cheater and wants to not actually be cheating on me. He gets jealous when I just talk about another guy too. I hate a lot of men because of this.

I have not ended it officially yet, because I don't know what to do.

I feel pretty bad, because I wish he would be faithful and real to me and that our first date was something meaningful. All the other times I hung out with him has not been the same.

[CuriousChick]

I think women get too caught up in the relationship and feel emotions more quickly/easily, read into positive signals too much, yet fail to read the caution signs. In contrast, men may go along with a relationship and not think much about it, and realize they are lacking the right emotions for the person much farther down the road.

I've had more than one long term, serious boyfriend tell me they didn't really love the exes they were in long term relationships with (I'm talking multiple year relationships), and that they really loved me, and so they waited a while to tell me they loved me to be sure they actually meant it this time. It always boggled me that they could have been in such long relationships, and not even thought about whether they were really in love. Though I'm not a big fan of promoting stereotypes (there are exceptions to every rule), they often come from somewhere. So stereotypically speaking I suppose women over-analyze, men under-analyze.

[993099142]

I've met guys who pretended to have feelings for me because they wanted to sleep with me. They tell me they are falling in love wtih me, and care about me so deeply and want me so badly, and give me the impression they really respect me and value me but it's all lies. They just want sex.

[Anonymous]

LOL I faked an entire relationship with my man and still am . Guess what he deserve's it he is cheeting on the side . So why not give hem a dish I can dish out ?

[JoshElliott]

no