Been friends w/ benefits with a guy for 4 years now. Things have changed lately. We used to just have sex and go our separate ways. We've gotten closer over time and a few weeks ago things got weird. He's more cuddly these days. Instead of just holding me and laying there now, he'll kiss my shoulders, my cheek, my nose and stare at me. He's woken me up several nights lately and all he'll do is stare at me and say "hey" and kiss me on the cheek. We were at the same club the other night and when I was leaving I told him bye, he said bye baby and hugged me (which in the past he'd never hugged me in front of his friends as he has the past couple months).
An hour later he calls me to come get him, he said he was down the street from his house, which was weird because he could walk.. but being nice. I get up and go to get him, I get there, he's already home but says I can come over anyways and we would cuddle.. that night we're sleeping and he does it again. He rolls over.. shakes me a bit, wakes me up and says "hey" and holds me and kisses my cheek and nose... and then said "i love you baby".. he'd had a lot to drink that night, but he didn't seem drunk, we've been together 100000 times when he's been drunk and this has never ever happened. I kept telling him he didn't know what he was saying, he had been drinking, he wouldn't remember it in the morning. He insisted over and over he knew what he was saying and that he meant it.
Through the next couple hours he holds me and tells me over & over he loves me. At one point in time by accident, I got a fist in the eye. haha.
He was apologizing and went back to I love yous. He seemed so relieved when he told me this stuff. By this time, its going on 6 am. So we wake up for good an hour later and he asked me if we had sex.. I said um no, his pants had wondered down so he wasn't sure. ha.. He said I don't remember anything except walking home. I'm like ooh no.. I told you you wouldn't remember!! He was like what are you talking about? I told him he'd gotten really mushy and said somethings. He said oh no was it bad? I said not for me, but for you maybe if you didn't mean it. I told him he said he loved me. He paused and said well I love everybody. I said no this wasn't I love everybody, this was I love you. I kept telling you that you wouldn't remember it but you insisted that you knew what you were saying. I asked should I disregard what I had been told, and he didn't answer. I said remember hitting me in the eye? He laughed and said yeah I remember that. Have his real feelings come out now? Was he THAT drunk to say that and not mean it when he's never had a drunken mushy moment with me ever? I can see it if he said it once mumbling but it was clear & a lot. What is going on? Why has he been acting like he has been? I'm confused enough lately with how different he'd been acting towards me, then that happened, so now I'm certainly confused. Help! Do I talk to him about it? I don't want him to freak out but I need truth.
An hour later he calls me to come get him, he said he was down the street from his house, which was weird because he could walk.. but being nice. I get up and go to get him, I get there, he's already home but says I can come over anyways and we would cuddle.. that night we're sleeping and he does it again. He rolls over.. shakes me a bit, wakes me up and says "hey" and holds me and kisses my cheek and nose... and then said "i love you baby".. he'd had a lot to drink that night, but he didn't seem drunk, we've been together 100000 times when he's been drunk and this has never ever happened. I kept telling him he didn't know what he was saying, he had been drinking, he wouldn't remember it in the morning. He insisted over and over he knew what he was saying and that he meant it.
Through the next couple hours he holds me and tells me over & over he loves me. At one point in time by accident, I got a fist in the eye. haha.
He was apologizing and went back to I love yous. He seemed so relieved when he told me this stuff. By this time, its going on 6 am. So we wake up for good an hour later and he asked me if we had sex.. I said um no, his pants had wondered down so he wasn't sure. ha.. He said I don't remember anything except walking home. I'm like ooh no.. I told you you wouldn't remember!! He was like what are you talking about? I told him he'd gotten really mushy and said somethings. He said oh no was it bad? I said not for me, but for you maybe if you didn't mean it. I told him he said he loved me. He paused and said well I love everybody. I said no this wasn't I love everybody, this was I love you. I kept telling you that you wouldn't remember it but you insisted that you knew what you were saying. I asked should I disregard what I had been told, and he didn't answer. I said remember hitting me in the eye? He laughed and said yeah I remember that. Have his real feelings come out now? Was he THAT drunk to say that and not mean it when he's never had a drunken mushy moment with me ever? I can see it if he said it once mumbling but it was clear & a lot. What is going on? Why has he been acting like he has been? I'm confused enough lately with how different he'd been acting towards me, then that happened, so now I'm certainly confused. Help! Do I talk to him about it? I don't want him to freak out but I need truth.
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His feelings have obviously changed. he either loves you or something has happened recently like he was turned down by another girl he liked so is feeling lonely. it doesn't sound like he was drunk at all and he said he didn't remember because he was embarrassed that you didn't say it back. you should ask him tho, if he does and you don't please stop sleeping with him or it will end up in tears.
hope that helps
Thanks, I did tell him I loved him back, I just didn't remind him of that! I've seen him since, a couple nights he's just wanted to cuddle, the subject hasn't come up again, but I guess as long as he hasn't ran away from me yet its not so bad!
well I drink sometimes and truth comes out when drunk haha. I think he loves you but is scared to say it...dont try forcing any truth out...Its what he does that says I love you more than saying it.
HOLY MOLY FOUR YEARS? I would think feelings would defiantly get more intense by now....yeah he loves you.