Why does my boyfriend point out my flaws?

[Anonymous]

So I have been with my boyfriend for years, we are common law and lately he's been driving me nuts and hurting my feelings. He keeps pointing out my flaws, flaws I know I have and don't need reminded of. I'm turning 26 soon, and obviously I'm not gonna look as I did when I was younger. He mentioned that my butt isn't as small as it use to be, I'm 5'1 and 115lbs...when we met I was 110 lbs, in the course of 4 years, gaining 5lbs isn't too bad in my eyes. He said that I need to lift some weights cause my arms are starting to sag and that I'm going to "have ugly old lady arms" soon. He keeps picking on me, I tell him he hurts my feelings and he just says it's constructive criticism. I find it rude, why is he being like this? Am I not attractive anymore and these little things he says is just beating around the bush?

[NoOneListens21]

IF you want my honest answer and assuming you do. lol. I believe he is a douche. Either he is the type of guy who will tell you what he thinks no matter how "harsh" it is or he's is a douche and doesn't really care. If you think about it...if you told him it hurts your feelings...then he didn't or doesn't care enough to respect you to stop. He could have done it in a nicer way if he seriously had a problem with it.

If a guy loves you, and has been with you that long...he'd love you just the way you are and see past what ever his hang ups are about you and love you for you. Do you really want to be with a man that does that to you? It doesn't EVEN sound like a big deal either. If you thought it was a problem that is one thing...if you thought it was a problem and he kept making fun of you he's still a jerk because he should know better than to put it like that or bring it up.

Dump him if he doesn't change. You deserve someone who respects you and wouldn't change those things and honestly when you're like 60+ none of this is going to matter. at all.

PLUS! I'm sure there are things you don't like about him. and I'm sure if you pointed it out...he be a girl about it and be on defense.

[Anonymous]

I live with someone that does the same thing. He constantly complimented me and was so sweet. well it finally came out one day that He developed a crush a girl at work that is 32 years younger than him.

[Anonymous]

I don't like the way he says it at all, it's rude. But you only give your side of the story so I don't want to be too harsh on him. 5 lbs over 4 years is not dramatic. But you're still young to stay active and keep yourself in very good shape. May be he's venting about something else?

[Asker]

He doesn't say it in a rude way or anything, the one time we were laying on the couch together and I had my back side to him and he just said "your A** isn't as small as when we first got together" then the other time he was laying down and I was scratching his chest and he pointed at my arm and said " you need to lift weights, your gonna have old lady arms" and laughed. I'm not lazy, I have a child I take care of and I work full time, I'm pretty healthy.

[Opinion Owner]

What do YOU think about your ass and arms? Does he have a point or not?

[Asker]

Honestly I thought I was the same size...I notice more of my love handles then anything lol, my arms are my arms..never looked at em and said "hey their getting saggy" He just always seems to point out negative things...and never evens it out with positive

[Opinion Owner]

Looking at your height and weight I think your ass must look fine. Just do a bit of sport for yourself because it feels nice anyway. If he never gives you compliments he's not a good boyfriend. It's important to tell to your girl compliments everyday.

[Asker]

That's what I thought! I hear nice things once and a while, but not often...in the beginning it was non stop of the compliments..now not so much

[Opinion Owner]

What about you, do you compliment him, what do you think about him, how do you feel about him, how would you judge his physique and personality over the years?

[Asker]

I am an awesome girlfriend, I always say nice things...like "you look sexy babe" or "nice ass" things like that. He went and grew his hair out and got dreadlocks and all I did was say I loved them, sometimes I say his attitude f*cking sucks but that's cause he's an ass!

[NMMan]

5'1 and 115 lbs. is very proportional, I have no idea what he's thinking. Even though it's not your nature, maybe pointing out a few of his flaws would get him to see the error of his ways, when it's him on the receiving end of the "constructive criticism" for a change.

[doug38]

He needs a swift kick in the pants. first of all 26 is young, I would call it prime age.

He probable thinks (if that is possible) he is flawless I would nicely remind him of some of his trouble areas and see how he likes it. He is a guy we are very visual and selfish by nature and some times good common sense is over ruled buy those desires. finally he may just want to spend some time with you. Remember guys think differently.

[BoldEagle]

dear... he is interested in someone else... he is comparing you with her. and in my opinion nothing, simply nothing is wrong with you.

[Asker]

So that's all you think it is? That he's interested in someone else? Is there not anything other reasoning for this? I don't really want to think my boyfriend of 4 years is wanting someone else...

[NonchalantBro]

why even waste another minute with a punk like that? next thing you know he could be beating you...but you'll still 'love him' I bet

[CoffinWolf]

why have a boyfriend when all of us strangers can point out your flaws on the internet for free? no strings attached. and we won't make you take out the trash.