Do you play fight with your bf/gf?

[Anonymous]

Hi guys,

So last night I was in a playful mood SO I BEGAN playfully tickeling my bf...let me say this again PLAYFULLY. He statrts to laugh & I pull his socks off and he's rolling in laughter...we start lightly wrestling but he starts to get super aggresive I remind him that we are only PLAYFULLY messing around and he shouldn't be so rough...He continues to push and shove HARD! I tellhim I don't want to play around anymore because he is too rough with me I then lightly pat him on the butt while I head towards our bed. he then lays down and kicks me off the bed. I laugh but I'm starting to get irritated and upset...i say stop and I get back on the be.. as I'm crawling back to my spot he shoves me not giving me a chance to catch myself I slam against the dresser which tumbles me rifht up against the door to our bedroom...Inthe middle of all the action as I tried to grab something to hold onto the corner of the dresser scrapes the skin off my upper inner arm which is now about a 4 inch bruuise...i cried immediately and all he said.."you shouldn't play if yo you know your gonna get hurt" I cried myself to sleep because it hurt so much! what's his deal? Am I over reacting or should I suck it up since I'm the one that started the tickeling fest? I was playfully messing I never oncce given him a bruise or played that rough...I wish I could show you kids a picture...its not an exaggeration..this bruise is huge!

Suck it up you big baby!

I would be upset also if I was injured!

Dont talk to him until he apologizes

[JackWSmith]

I sure am glad I had a little sister. Play fighting with girls is an art, requiring just the right amount of force, and I have to admit I get a lot of fun out of it. Girls are so innocent when it comes to fighting. Maybe it's because they didn't grow up wrestling with their dads and their friends, maybe it's just a lack of instinct, but it's not just a question of strength. The other day I was in the pool, and my very large female cousin tried to dunk me. She just pushed down on my shoulders like that would do it. I I laughed, put my leg behind hers and dipped her under the water. Girls are so cute when they try to fight. Of course they can be trained; I know that, but in general.

This guy sounds crazy. It sounds likes he's working his way up to abuse. Abusers don't normally start off by breaking your nose. They work up to it. What I took from your story is that he knew he was being an a**hole, but pushing you around excited him and he couldn't stop. You couldn't do anything to stop him and that excited him. Regarding your question about overreacting, I say no. if a girl started tickling me, I would in no way feel justified in pushing her around, especially after she told me to stop. Accidents happen and a bruise does not necessarily mean abuse, nor does the absence of bruises mean it wasn't abuse. The things that bothered me about your story were his refusal to stop, how much he seemed to enjoy intimidating you, and how he made it your fault when you got upset. You're a few steps from nursing a black eye while he tells you that it's your fault and he only did it because he loves you so much.

[Asker]

I haven't seen him since this incident. I have tried to play it off like everything is alright and he barely replys back to me. I feel like I did something wrong which I know I haven't I knwo you are al right and I should leave him...its just easier said than done.

[JackWSmith]

If you are having trouble leaving him after something like this, that should be a red flag. If his emotional withdraw is making you question your actions and wonder if you did something wrong, that's a red flag soaked in burning kerosene. He wants to see if he can make you feel guilty for what he did. I recommend that you learn about abuse and take this matter to the people who care about you (not him). There's an old saying: If ten men tell you you're drunk, you'd better lay down.

[Asker]

I like that saying! Yea I know I have to get out and soon!

[dudeman]

i can't do it, when I pat people on the back they tell me it hurts so play fighting is just out of the question, a few girls told me that's when I hold them its kinda scary so now I'm just real careful how I handle women, they are like tiny for the most part even if they are not they tend to be extremely weak by my standards

[Asker]

Yes we're a little more fragile and more sensitive than guys but I can tough it out...but he takes it to the extreme...

[dudeman]

yeah I would never kick somebody off the bed

[Asker]

yeah it was not cool and what's even worse is that he hasn't texted me all day! I just hate always giving in when I didn't do anything wrong

[toulouse]

dump him. end of story. I wouldn't have continued any of that . as soon as I thought he was out of control. id walk away, and I def wouldn't sleep with him. and id sleep on the couch or floor so he gets that his behavior is unacceptable,

i play fight with my brothers, guy friends , guy cousins, uncles, dad all the time and I've never had a problem, but if say stop , they'd stop immediately. just as I would stop immediately. If HE told YOU to stop-youd stop no?

so if he hurts you during sex does he say you shouldn't f***- if you know you might get hurt?

I think he's learning disabled-or psychotic. in any case he doesn't respect you, leave. ASAP.

, I don't care if he was hitting you, or tickling u. its not about him 'hurting' you, its about him not listening to you, because he obviously has no clue. dioesnt matter, its your body, not his. . If you say stop he STOPS. if he doesn't stop, you leave. well, that's me anyways,

[Anonymous]

Wow. I would be upset too. So you cried your self to sleep and he didn't say anything? That is so weird.

[Asker]

YEA HE JUST ROLLED ONTO BED AND HE TRIED HUGGING ME AND SAID... YOU S HOULD PLAY LIKE THAT.

[purplefanatic91]

Yea I would dump him, he must not care about your feelings otherwise he would of at least say sorry

[Asker]

I KNOW! IM 26 YEARS OLD AND I DONT NEED THIS SH!& ESPECIALLY WHEN I WAS JUST PLAYING

[ColtsFanForever]

i wouldn't even play fight with my girlfriend. I don't like it when guys hit women even if its playfully. He should apologize for the bruise he gave you.

[Asker]

HE HASNT SEEN IT..LAST NIGHT I WOULDNT EVEN LET HIM TOUCH ME...THIS MORNIGN I LEFT BEFORE HE WORK UP AND HE HASNT TEXTED OR CALLED

[ColtsFanForever]

well you should dump him

[Asker]

thanks :)

[hot_princess7]

DUMP HIS ASS. Please. Now.

[Asker]

YES.THINKIN ABOUT IT.

[hot_princess7]

He doesn't truly love and respect you, by the sounds of it.

[lufthanza]

damn! is he crazi? :/

[Asker]

I THINK SO !

[Baldr]

What a d***.

[Asker]

i KNOW. IVE BEEN HEARING THAT A LOT LATELY...SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING DUMPING HIM

[andre-1509]

Dump him lol

[Asker]

Serioulsu considering it lol