Was I right to feel used by this guy?
My ex who I had dated for 13 years passed away. One of his best friends needed a ride to the funeral. I offered and took him on the 4.5 hour trip, never asked for gas money and paid for at least three of his meals while there. He had told me that he had no money, however was able to get the money for beer, whiskey and a pair of jeans while there. Then he started calling all the time wanting to hang out. He knew I had a boyfriend the whole time and I never did or said anything to make him think that I was interested in being any more than just friends. Well about a month ago I had asked him if he wanted to go out for drinks and food and if not I would be going out with another friend. He said he wanted to go out. Then when at the bar he informs me that he had no money. I pay. Then on the way home he pulls up at the gas pumps and tells me that he needs gas money in order to get us home. I (reluctantly) agree to pay 10 dollars. He puts in 15 without asking. Then asks if he could spend the night. I told him needed to get up early and boyfriend would not be happy about it. He left and later texted that he was disappointed that he could not stay the night, that he wanted to be with me and I would have to make a decision. I never texted him back. Now I am getting texts from him telling me that he deserves an explanation for why I am avoiding him and that a friend would not do that. I just wanted others opinions on the matter. All I wanted was a friend and felt used.
What's Your Opinion?
Most Helpful Opinion
Sounds like he is looking for a sugar momma. I would say OK you need a reason then? The reason is I am with someone and honestly you can't treat me the way I need to be treated. Oh and by the way, Have fun storming the castle.
Give him a reason if you feel you need to give one. But, he is trying to be near you because, I think he sees a free ride in more ways then one. If you don't feel the need to reply then dont. Ignore him or just block him.
Your call... but his welcome has been worn out. And you have every right to feel used because you were. Taking him to the funeral was a noble thing but, after that it has to end.
What Guys Said 4
What Girls Said 3
Wow he was that blatant? Yeah you have every right to feel used and an even more right to tell him so. You don't need a friend like that in your life where he just uses you for money at every opportunity? He's also given you an ultimatum very early on. Big warning signs. You deserve to be treated better :)
Yes. You have a right to feel used. Granted, many people grieve in different ways, some by drinking, and granted, people make mistakes. But even if you let all of that go, this person is well aware of your kind heart and has made it apparent by taking advantage of your hospitalities and your wallet, as well as a blatent disrespect for the relationship of which you are currently in.