If I let go, will he come back again?

I am going through a hard time with my boyfriend. I'm with him for almost a year now. We are in a far distance relationship. He works in the next state 3 hours from where we live. So he only comes back once in a month or once in 2 months depending on his tight budget.even when he is back here,he doesn't have much time to spend with me as he needs to spend time with his other friends and family members. recently we had an argument because I was joking around with an online close guy friend. he snooped into my Facebook account and he didn't like the fact that I was joking around with another guy eventhough I never met this guy before. he asked for a breakup then because he didn't want to get hurt again as he has doubts that I might do the same thing again later.at 1st I broke down and started begging him not to leave me like he promised when we were having a good time.i explained to him that I was just messing around and it really didn't mean anything.it was mainly my fault.so after begging for a couple of days and getting ignored and hearing his bad words,i decided to give him some space.after a day,he text me.he said he felt lonely and empty.he also had an accident for not being able to focus on riding his bike.but he was ok.then we started having a little conversation.but of course it didn't last.he stopped texting me again.the next day,i sent him an email bout being sorry and accepting the fact that he wanted a breakup and saying that I totally respect his decision.after a couple of hours,he replied.and we discussed bout why we were fighting and I start to explain.when everything was out he said he would think about it.that night,i tried sweet talk to him and he said he would give it a chance.everything was fine.its been a month since this incident.he is having a low budget now.he needs my help eventhough he said that he is scared that I would ask him for his debts when I got angry.so I said I don't want to help cause he didn't trust me.he said ok.the next morning,he text me that he was going to work but he sounded really upset.because of this I got angry.i don't know what triggered my anger.i started telling everything I felt and not thinking bout how he would feel.i just poured out everything about how I don't like he being unhappy,how I hate being misjudged,about how I wanted him to spend more time with me eventhough he is always tired cause of work.i hurt him alot.worst of all I said that I wanted to go out more to forget my sadness.so we fought.he felt that he couldn't keep me happy and he feels that he doesn't deserve my love.he says he loves me and don't blame me.he says its his fault for getting involved in love.its his fault that he fell in love.i know he has many commitments in life.these tiny fight had pushed his limit and now he is asking for a breakup again.this time its cause he didn't want to think of having these problems anymore as he has many other commitments to achieve.i love him and I know he does too.he wants to leave but I dont.help!

Updates:
i feel that we are made for each other.but right now,he is just going through too much.every person has it limits of responsibility and his responsibility just exceeded its limit.i want to help him in every way I m capable of.but he refuses it at first.later when things get even worse then he asks for my help.at that moment the feeling of wanting to help has disappear.that`s when everything turns upside down.i wish he is stronger than this.i wish he accepts my human errors and move on
last night he was the one not wanting to talk to me.i barely slept at all.i slept at 6am and now I am up again after 3 hours.i woke up to the sound of his text.i was shocked.he told said "morning I am going to work now."i was so stunned.barely able to open my eyes cause of sleepiness.i thought about this.should I reply or not? he sounded like he want everything back to normal.so I just replied him in short.not hoping or wanting him to know that I'm desperate.i said ride safely.AND he replied ok.
when he reached his work area,probably having breakfast.he text me.he asked me "you start your holidays already?".i replied "not really".i said that cause I was still finishing my assignments.he replied "ok".that was it.i feel bad for not being soft towards him for now.i know he wants that.i hope I make him realize that if he wants to leave he would have to miss all that.and with that he would come back to me and not give up so easily.
 

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • Dear ash cady,What you described it seemed almost like maybe you're too deep into the relationship to let go, and completly too forgiving in my opinion. You were joking around with a guy friend and he freaked out..doesn't that seem like maybe he didn't trust you..because if he had, why would he of ever had to worry? Also you shoudn't of had to beg for anything, you deserve so much better then a guy whos going to make you feel like sh*t for having a life. In my opinion it was a good desicion to not loan him the money as most likely he would of made you feel like crap for it later if you did need it back, or you might of gotten really mad and said it at the wrong time, it's just a whole bunch of unessicary stress that didn't need to be added. Now about your guys problem now, he wants to go again and you want to stay. If you really want it to work, then not only you but he as well must put in that actual effort. You can't shoulder all the blame when it doesn't work becuase it's not all your fault. Sometimes you have to let things go even if you don't want to, because it doesn't seem like he's who you need anymore and even you finally admitted that outloud even though it hurt, can you admit what you said there didn't hold even a bit of truth? In the title you asked a specific question, if I let go will he come back, and it made me think of this old quote I'm not entirely sure how it goes but it's something like this. Let what you love most go, if it comes back to you then it's yours to hold forever, but if it doesn't then you have to let go. I really hope everything works out for you though, but if it doesn't you seem like a wonderful girl, maybe it's time to find someone just as wonderful..who will be there when you need it =)

    • thanks for thinking that I m a wonderful girl..i have never felt this feeling with any other guy before.he treats me differently from my exs.i truly love him a lot and I feel that we are meant to be.but I can feel that to him, right now, I'm not his priority.i can feel that he love me or he wouldn't have gotten hurt when I said I wanted to go out more and he does support me with my studies and my difficult family problems.so I know he does care about me

    • Show Older
    • i really hope everything works out.for now I'm going to give him as much space as he needs.i will be here for him whenever he text me or call.but I'm not going to sound so desperate anymore.i shouldn't force something that won't work.so I'm going to be the best I can and if he can't accept me for me eventhough I did compromise a lot by not going out a lot and remaining a no contact between my guy friends through phone then I should rethink whether it will be worth it or not in the end.thanks alot. :)

    • Coudn't of said it better myself =D you deserve it..so don't ever settle for less

What Guys Said 1

  • long distance never works

    • it has worked out for 11 months and 3 weeks.we are happy most of the time apart from small arguments.especially when we are together.what difference does it make now? we both love each other.i feel that he wants to leave cause he just wants the easy way out.

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    • it won't be another year.i will be moving to his town next year after my diploma..somewhere in June or July..cant he be a little patient and stop giving up so easily? we shouldn't throw love away just cause it hurts sometimes.that is just not right

    • why move with him, you have to be a independent women, cause if you do move in with him you will relay on him to much and if will cause more problems, think about that

What Girls Said 0

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