I am going through a hard time with my boyfriend. I'm with him for almost a year now. We are in a far distance relationship. He works in the next state 3 hours from where we live. So he only comes back once in a month or once in 2 months depending on his tight budget.even when he is back here,he doesn't have much time to spend with me as he needs to spend time with his other friends and family members. recently we had an argument because I was joking around with an online close guy friend. he snooped into my Facebook account and he didn't like the fact that I was joking around with another guy eventhough I never met this guy before. he asked for a breakup then because he didn't want to get hurt again as he has doubts that I might do the same thing again later.at 1st I broke down and started begging him not to leave me like he promised when we were having a good time.i explained to him that I was just messing around and it really didn't mean anything.it was mainly my fault.so after begging for a couple of days and getting ignored and hearing his bad words,i decided to give him some space.after a day,he text me.he said he felt lonely and empty.he also had an accident for not being able to focus on riding his bike.but he was ok.then we started having a little conversation.but of course it didn't last.he stopped texting me again.the next day,i sent him an email bout being sorry and accepting the fact that he wanted a breakup and saying that I totally respect his decision.after a couple of hours,he replied.and we discussed bout why we were fighting and I start to explain.when everything was out he said he would think about it.that night,i tried sweet talk to him and he said he would give it a chance.everything was fine.its been a month since this incident.he is having a low budget now.he needs my help eventhough he said that he is scared that I would ask him for his debts when I got angry.so I said I don't want to help cause he didn't trust me.he said ok.the next morning,he text me that he was going to work but he sounded really upset.because of this I got angry.i don't know what triggered my anger.i started telling everything I felt and not thinking bout how he would feel.i just poured out everything about how I don't like he being unhappy,how I hate being misjudged,about how I wanted him to spend more time with me eventhough he is always tired cause of work.i hurt him alot.worst of all I said that I wanted to go out more to forget my sadness.so we fought.he felt that he couldn't keep me happy and he feels that he doesn't deserve my love.he says he loves me and don't blame me.he says its his fault for getting involved in love.its his fault that he fell in love.i know he has many commitments in life.these tiny fight had pushed his limit and now he is asking for a breakup again.this time its cause he didn't want to think of having these problems anymore as he has many other commitments to achieve.i love him and I know he does too.he wants to leave but I dont.help!
Most Helpful Girl
Dear ash cady,
What you described it seemed almost like maybe you're too deep into the relationship to let go, and completly too forgiving in my opinion. You were joking around with a guy friend and he freaked out..doesn't that seem like maybe he didn't trust you..because if he had, why would he of ever had to worry? Also you shoudn't of had to beg for anything, you deserve so much better then a guy whos going to make you feel like sh*t for having a life. In my opinion it was a good desicion to not loan him the money as most likely he would of made you feel like crap for it later if you did need it back, or you might of gotten really mad and said it at the wrong time, it's just a whole bunch of unessicary stress that didn't need to be added. Now about your guys problem now, he wants to go again and you want to stay. If you really want it to work, then not only you but he as well must put in that actual effort. You can't shoulder all the blame when it doesn't work becuase it's not all your fault. Sometimes you have to let things go even if you don't want to, because it doesn't seem like he's who you need anymore and even you finally admitted that outloud even though it hurt, can you admit what you said there didn't hold even a bit of truth? In the title you asked a specific question, if I let go will he come back, and it made me think of this old quote I'm not entirely sure how it goes but it's something like this. Let what you love most go, if it comes back to you then it's yours to hold forever, but if it doesn't then you have to let go. I really hope everything works out for you though, but if it doesn't you seem like a wonderful girl, maybe it's time to find someone just as wonderful..who will be there when you need it =)